“School districts have more than enough money to meet this budget reduction.” – Sen. John Vratil, R-Leawood, arguing that districts’ reserve funds could offset the cuts first proposed by Senate Republicans
“Because it’s easier for legislators doesn’t mean it’s better for Kansans.” – Gov. Kathleen Sebelius, as she threatened to veto the Senate GOP bill
“I’m jumping off the Titanic. It’s time to make progress.” – Sen. Susan Wagle (in photo), R-Wichita, as she and other conservative Republicans joined Democrats in supporting a compromise on 2009 budget cuts
“The collective backbone in the Legislature was a few vertebrae short for what had to be done. But that’s democracy.” – Senate Majority Leader Derek Schmidt, R-Independence, on the compromise bill
“You are ruining SCHIP!” – Sen. Pat Roberts, R-Kan., shouting on the Senate floor about Democrats’ plans to raise the income eligibility level for the State Children’s Health Insurance Program
“If the Moran-Tiahrt primary turns ugly and the candidates deplete their resources on each other, a ruby-red state could turn into a Democratic pickup opportunity.” – the Hill newspaper, analyzing Kansas’ U.S. Senate race
“Some are literally salivating.” – House Minority Leader Paul Davis, D-Lawrence, on Republicans eyeing K-12 schools for budget cuts
“Now, they know we won’t love them in the morning.” – Sen. Janis Lee (in photo), D-Kensington, on how schools would be affected by GOP senators’ proposed “sucker punch” cuts
“The solution is not (lawmakers). The solution is the people of Kansas.” – Rep. Melvin Neufeld, R-Ingalls, on the “tough choices” ahead on the state budget
“It felt like a 10-pound anvil was lifted off my head.” – House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., on how she felt seeing Marine One lift off the Capitol grounds on Jan. 20 with George W. Bush aboard
“I just don’t think that’s the way a president should enter office.” – Former Bush chief of staff Andy Card, on the anti-Bush tone of President Barack Obama’s inaugural address
“I’m a lefty. Get used to it.” – Obama, the sixth southpaw in chief since the end of World War II, speaking as he signed his first official documents
The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:
BIN LADEN LATEST MADOFF CASUALTY
RNC ISSUES APOLOGY TO NEGROES; Calls Song Parody ‘Offensive to Every Negro’
RECESSION RESULTED IN CRAPPIEST PRESENTS EVER; Shoddy Crafts, Baked Goods Dominate Holiday Giving
CAROLINE KENNEDY ASKS TO BE TIME’S PERSON OF THE YEAR; Places Phone Call to Magazine’s Editor
AMAZON.COM RECOMMENDATIONS UNDERSTAND AREA WOMAN BETTER THAN HUSBAND
ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS RETURNING TO MEXICO FOR AMERICAN JOBS
GOOGLE LAUNCHES ‘THE GOOGLE’ FOR OLDER ADULTS
Warm wishes to all you bloggers on this Christmas Day. Special blessings on all those who gave their time and money to area charities during this period of economic uncertainty. And comfort to those who are dealing with sickness, loss or who are separated from loved ones this holiday, particularly those with family members serving in the military overseas.
May this day be merry and bright.
I tried my hand — not always so successfully — at writing some satirical Christmas carols based on 2008 events. Here is a sample:
To the tune of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”
I saw Sebelius kissing up to Barack Obama
On the campaign trail throughout this year.
Yet she didn’t hear a peep,
About the Cabinet or being veep.
So now she’s stuck in Topeka with those legislative creeps.
To the tune of “The Wassail Song”
Here we come a-shopping
For Sarah Palin clothes.
Here we go a-wandering
In stores to and fro.
Off to Saks Fifth Avenue
And to Neiman Marcus, too.
And we’ll buy her and send her a snazzy wardrobe
So that she can appeal to Average Joes.
To the tune of “Let it Snow”
Though the district’s needs are frightful,
Anti-bond groups are rather spiteful.
So as long as schools want more dough,
They’ll vote no,
They’ll vote no,
They’ll vote no.
Given all that history has learned about Watergate, it’s remarkable that some people would see Mark Felt, the former FBI insider aka “Deep Throat,” as having been wrong to tell the Washington Post what he knew about the burglary and White House cover-up. Felt’s actions surely were motivated, at least in part, because he’d been passed over to succeed J. Edgar Hoover as FBI director. But Felt deserves credit for doing the right thing in an administration full of people doing the wrong thing. As Post reporter Bob Woodward said of Felt, who died Thursday: “This is a man who did his duty to the Constitution.”
If The Wichita Eagle’s Holiday Open House is on your calendar from 4 to 7 p.m. today at 825 E. Douglas, stop by the editorial board offices and say “hello.” All questions, comments, criticisms, holiday greetings are welcome.
Thanksgiving wishes to all you bloggers. As our editorial Wednesday noted, worries may seem to outnumber blessings in many Wichita-area homes over this holiday season. Still, there many reasons to be thankful. And struggles can sometimes focus the mind and heart on what really matters – such as our loved ones, faith and traditions.
The 20th Amendment, shortening the transition period between presidencies from four to 2½ months, was ratified during economic dire straits in January 1933. Recalling that, attorneys and federal employees Milo Mason and Paul Smyth say it’s time to trim the lame-duck period further. “Our Founding Fathers gave us political accountability and checks and balances because they understood the temptations of power on the best of us. Once we’ve elected a new president, the democratic thing to do is to let him get started,” they wrote in Legal Times, suggesting that Inauguration Day become the first Friday in December.
Let the video surveillance footage of Johnson County Commissioner John M. Toplikar allegedly stealing his opponent’s campaign signs be a reminder that local candidates can get tripped up by YouTube, too. Olathe police charged Toplikar with misdemeanor theft after finding challenger Calvin Hayden’s signs in his possession. Toplikar later claimed that he “moved” the signs because they were “deliberately” placed to block his, then acknowledged that he shouldn’t have taken them down.
“At the risk of scandalizing my high school civics teacher, this might be the first presidential and congressional election I’ve sat out on principle,” wrote columnist Rod Dreher. He explained that as a pro-life social conservative, his voting for Barack Obama is “all but impossible.” But, he said, John McCain’s “hot temper and bellicose foreign policy instincts are deeply troubling. . . . And the more Gov. Sarah Palin shares her nitwit nostrums, the less confidence I have that she’s capable of running the country if her boss’s term were abruptly ended by illness or death.”
He also wrote: “Absent something extraordinary, I’m going to reject both the Republican and the Democrat. Say what you will, but that will be the first presidential vote I’ve cast, so to speak, that I can truly believe in.”
By a twist of fate, the Westboro Baptist Church’s protest at the National Conference of Editorial Writers in Little Rock fell on International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept. 19). So the Fred Phelps clan was countered by some Flying Spaghetti Monster (in photo) devotees known as the Central Arkansas Pastafarians, who snarled “Arrgh” and held signs declaring that “God hates shrimp — Leviticus” and “God hates cotton-polyester blends.” As for what the Topeka-based Phelps clan has against editorial writers: It turns out we are “responsible for the satanic milieu in this evil land” and for serving the “satanic agendas” of “baby-killers and fags.”
John McCain, in Congress for 26 years to Barack Obama’s four, has the longer record of producing bipartisan alliances on tough issues. He has bucked his party again and again to do just that — on immigration, federal judges and campaign finance, to name three.
Obama has a much thinner record of bucking his own party. With the exception of tough fights for ethics reforms in the Illinois Senate and in Washington — where he angered Democratic colleagues by insisting on the disclosure of lobbyists who bundle campaign donations — Obama has rarely challenged party dogma on the sort of big, contentious issues he’d face as president.
None of this is to say Obama couldn’t turn into a consensus-building, party-challenging president.
Based on their records so far, though, it takes a greater leap of faith to believe that of him than of McCain.
— USA Today editorial
In Illinois, I reached across the aisle to put $100 million in tax cuts into the pockets of hard-working families. And I opposed members of my party to pass the first major ethics reform in 25 years, ending the outrage of politicians pocketing campaign contributions for personal use.
I’ve bridged the partisan divide in the Senate to bring about change. With Sen. Dick Lugar, I fought to keep nuclear weapons out of terrorist hands. With Sen. Tom Coburn, I helped end the abuse of no-bid contracts and made government more open by putting every contract, every grant and every dime of federal spending online.
My opponent speaks of bipartisanship. But you cannot claim independence from your party when you vote with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time. You cannot end partisan divisions when you embrace the Karl Rove politics that’s polarized this country for so long. It’s time to reject the cynicism that treats bipartisanship as little more than a slogan.
— Barack Obama’s response in USA Today
With this week’s economic news, you have to laugh to keep from crying:
“Experts say we’re going through what’s known as a lock, stock and barrel financial phase. You know what that is, and how that works? People are locked out of their homes, their stocks are worthless, and the oil companies have us over a barrel. That’s how it works.” — Jay Leno
“I don’t think President Bush gets it. He doesn’t really understand these economic issues. Like today, he was asked if customers should be concerned by all these bank closings. And Bush said, ‘If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM.’” — Leno
“I’m not sure if Sarah Palin knows what to do about the economy either. Do you think she has any experience? She was asked today what to do in a bear market. And she said, ‘Well, you should shoot it, then skin it.’” — Leno
“Vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin today said she thinks the economy needs some shaking up and some fixin’. I’m pretty sure that is also her recipe for oven-baked chicken.” — Jimmy Kimmel
“Both presidential candidates reacted to the market turmoil today. Barack Obama laid out a detailed five-part plan, but John McCain’s plan is much simpler. He’s just going to have his wife fix it.” — Craig Ferguson
FYI: Randy has a farewell column today explaining how he took a job in Boulder, Colo., with Trout Unlimited. The job is a great combination of Randy’s interests: writing, conservation and fly fishing. “It’s an exciting new challenge and also the realization of a dream for me,” Randy wrote. “From my teenage years on, I’ve regularly plotted my escape to points west to engage in what I’m sure must look to outsiders like a pointless and even daft pursuit.”
The serial disasters in the financial sector are coinciding with a key presidential campaign. But is it too much to expect the response to them to be bipartisan, on a par with that of Congress and the Bush administration immediately after Sept. 11? Apparently it is, judging from what House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., had to say about the action by the White House and Federal Reserve to loan $85 billion to American International Group, including: “This is their problem. This is their solution.” Besides, if people want to point fingers, as financial consultant Bert Ely told the New York Times, “there’s plenty of blame to go around.”
“School districts have more than enough money to meet this budget reduction.” – Sen. John Vratil, R-Leawood, arguing that districts’ reserve funds could offset the cuts first proposed by Senate Republicans
