Category Archives: Spoof headlines

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

SPOOFSLOGOThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Rep. Issa Subpoenas 7 Million Americans Who Signed Up for Obamacare

Putin Announces Historic G1 Summit

White House Sends Obama to 3-Day Management Seminar at Washington Marriott

Sheldon Adelson Says No Republican Candidate Worth Buying

College Senior Already Has Grueling 14-Month Employment Search Lined Up After Graduation

Single Mother Hogging 2 Jobs

Warren Buffett Offers $1 Billion for Dick Vitale to Shut Up

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

SPOOFSLOGOThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Fred Phelps, Man Who Forever Stopped March of Gay Rights, Dead at 84

U.S. Freezes Putin’s Netflix Account

Crimean Voters Excited to Exercise Democracy for Last Time

Ukraine Situation Further Confused After Appearance by John Travolta

Obama’s Plan to Pay People Enough to Eat Stirs Controversy

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

SPOOFSLOGOThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Arizona Governor Vetoes Anti-Gay Bill: ‘Let’s Focus on Discriminating Against Mexicans’

Academy to Give Oscar Runners-Up Detailed Progress Reports Outlining Where Stars Can Improve

Expressing Deeply Held Political Opinion Referred to as ‘Gaffe’

Winter Olympics Inspire Nation’s Youth to Try Sports Their Parents Can’t Afford

Dick Vitale Undergoes Annual Bracketological Examination

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

SPOOFSLOGOThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Putin After Hockey Loss: ‘This Must Be What an Actual Election Feels Like’

Bill Gates Spends Entire First Day Back in Office Trying to Install Windows 8.1

Christie Asks for Public’s Patience While He Comes Up With New Story

Supreme Court Reaches Landmark ‘It Depends’ Ruling

Coke’s Wild Assertion That Other Languages Exist Stirs Controversy

New Poll Finds Most NFL Players Still Not Ready to Date Gay Teammate

Nation Admits It Would’ve Been Fun to Watch Marcus Smart Beat Up Fan

Kevin Durant Has Off Night With Quiet 94-for-128, 210-Point Performance

New Parents Wisely Start College Fund That Will Pay for 12 Weeks of Education

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

SPOOFSLOGOThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Aides Advised Obama to Avoid Any Mention of America During State of the Union Speech

Republicans Responded to State of Union With Grumpiest Faces Ever

Obama Not Ruling Out U.S. Military Action in Congress

Swift Boat Veterans for Truth Clear John Kerry After Exhaustive 9-Year Investigation

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

SPOOFSLOGOThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Fox News: Obama to Force All Americans to Buy Pot

Mayors Bullied by Christie Form Support Group

Nation Recalls Simpler Time When Health Care System Was Broken Beyond Repair

Kim Jong Un: Bieber Just a Few Arrests From Being My Friend

Royals Courted Masahiro Tanaka by Highlighting Kansas City’s Rich Japanese History

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

SPOOFSLOGOThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Record for Worst Congress of All Time So Close Boehner Can Taste It

Scalia Calls ‘Duck Dynasty’ Decision Unconstitutional

Fast-Food Industry Rejects Workers’ Demand to Be Considered Human

30-Year-Old Has Earned $11 More Than He Would Have Without College Education

Miami Heat Fans Growing Frustrated With Team’s Lack of NBA Titles Since June

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

SPOOFSLOGOThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

GOP: HealthCare.gov Too Fast Now

Iran’s Supreme Leader Hopes Nuke Deal Distracts Attention From Obamacare

Hubble Telescope Sends Back Annoying Stream of Selfies

New England Patriots Now Using Drones to Take Out Offensive Threats

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

SPOOFSLOGOThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Sebelius Admits She Has Never Actually Gotten on Healthcare.gov

GOP Unveils Own Health Care Website, EmergencyRoom.gov

NASA: ‘We Will Have A Mass Shooting On The Moon By 2055’

CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

Salivating Andy Reid Still Chasing Perfect Seasoning

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

NSA Promises to Stop Getting Caught Spying on Allies
Nation That Waited Decades to Pass Health Care Reform Infuriated by Slow Website
White House Thrilled With Record Number of People Who Thought They Signed Up for Health Care
Snowden Offers to Fix HealthCare.gov
Boehner Hoping to Remain Leader of Republican Parties
Josh Freeman Takes on Leadership Role to Help Vikings Find Franchise Quarterback

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Psychiatrists Deeply Concerned for 5% of Americans Who Approve of Congress
Cruz: ‘The Dream of Keeping Poor People From Seeing a Doctor Must Never Die’
Republicans Shut Down Prefrontal Cortex
Rand Paul Proposes Reopening Just Enough of Government to Hold New Hearings on Benghazi
Poll: Americans Divided Over What Wild Animal They Would Like to See Congress Mauled By
New Pro Football Hall of Fame Exhibit Allows Visitors to Experience Concussion
Washington Redskins Change Their Name to the D.C. Redskins

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Senate Reaches Bipartisan Deal to Shut Down Ted Cruz

Republicans Warn Iranian President Against Shaking Obama’s Hand

Kerry Shocked to Be Taken Seriously

House Republicans Line Up for Free Annual Physicals Before Defunding Obamacare

Scalia Forms Search Committee for New Pope

In Poll About Debt-Ceiling Crisis, Americans Totally Excited About New iPhone

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Obama Promises Syria Strike Will Have No Objective

Republicans Offer Syria Strategy: ‘We Must Defund Obamacare’

Obama Assures Americans This Will Not Be Another 1456 Ottoman Siege of Belgrade

Poll: Majority of Americans Approve of Sending Congress to Syria

Assad Unable to Convince Putin That He Used Chemical Weapons on Syrians

Report: Millions of Courageous Americans Overcoming Media Pressure to Be Thin

G20 Ends Abruptly as Obama Calls Putin a Jackass

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from theonion.com:

Obama Deeply Concerned After Syrians Gassed to Death on White House Lawn

Israel Builds New Settlement to Host Palestinian Peace Talks

Psychiatrist Patiently Listens to Obama Complain about Every Single American

Economists Advise Nation’s Poor to Invent the Next Facebook

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Amazon Founder Says He Clicked on Washington Post by Mistake

Report: Economy Just One Obama Speech Away From Recovery

Boehner Urges Republicans to Rest Up for Meaningless Votes Ahead

Scalia Offers to Help Pope Judge Gays

New Texas Law Requires Voters to Have ID With Photo of White Person

Nation Just Wants to Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained at All Times

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Congress Fiercely Divided Over Completely Blank Bill That Says And Does Nothing

Weiner Continues Sexting During Apology

Opponents of ‘Stand Your Ground’ Propose New Law, ‘Don’t Shoot Me for Absolutely No Reason’

Nate Silver Warns Against Overestimating His Value to ESPN

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Nation Throws Hands Up, Tells Black Teenagers to Do Their Best Out There

Florida Considers Eliminating Laws Altogether

U.S. Border Patrol Increases Staff by Hiring Cheap Immigrant Labor

Man Who Couldn’t Defeat George W. Bush Attempting to Resolve Israel-Palestine Conflict

Texas Weighs Ban on Women

Michelle Obama Finally Gets Around to Reading ‘Dreams From My Father’

J.K. Rowling Revealed to Be Pseudonym for Newt Gingrich

Netflix Receives 10 Emmy Nominations for Season 4 of ‘Wings’

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Agency Busy Spying on 300 Million People Failed to Notice One Dude Working for It

U.S. Seemingly Unaware of Irony in Accusing Snowden of Spying

U.S. Promises Smooth Transfer of Quagmire From Afghanistan to Syria

Obama, Putin Agree Never to Speak to Each Other Again

Americans Sent More Than a Hundred Million Father’s Day Messages, Says NSA

GOP: ‘We Support Our Nation’s 11 Million Latino Criminals’

New Iranian President Really Impressed With Country’s Nuclear Arms Program

Biden Investigated for Questionable Workers’ Comp Claim

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

• Obama Denies Role in Government
• Republicans Agree to Stop Using Word ‘Scandal’ in Every Sentence if Obama Resigns
• Obama Asks Staff to Start Cc’ing Him on Stuff
• Kim Jong Un Defends Right to Obtain Journalists’ Phone Records
• GOP Split Over Whether to Waste Time Investigating Benghazi or Repealing Obamacare
• Obama Supporter Has Perfectly Improbable Explanation Absolving President From Blame for Scandals
• Republicans Question Whether Obama Could Handle Actual Scandal
• ‘Our Thoughts Go Out to Oklahoma,’ Says GOP Congressman, Mentally Calculating When He Can Bring Up Benghazi Again
• Fox: New Evidence Hillary Killed Lincoln
• Republicans: Obama Must Take Action in Syria So We Can Criticize Action He Took in Syria
• Sanford’s Comeback Gives Hope to Liars
• NRA Leader Warns of Rising Cost of Senators
• Obama Orders Reinvasion of Iraq After Illuminating Trip Through Bush Presidential Library
• Yahoo Back on Top After Purchasing Millions of 13-Year-Old Girls’ Blogs

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Courageous Senators Stand Up to American People

North Korean Missile Test Delayed by Windows 8

Palestinians, Israelis Come Together to Mock Obama’s Hopelessly Naive Speech

Republicans Call for Tougher Sanctions on Beyonce

Justin Bieber Fan Jealous of Anne Frank

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:
Scalia Furious He Had to Hear About Gay Couples All Week
‘This Is a Pointless Trip,’ Obama Says While Shaking Hands With Netanyahu
Cheney Marks 10th Anniversary of Pretending There Was Reason to Invade Iraq
Emotional Wayne LaPierre Honors Victims of Background Checks
Mississippi Bans Soft Drinks Smaller Than 20 Ounces
Supreme Court Rules Gays Can Drink 16-Ounce Sodas
Kim Jong Un: ‘The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke’

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Unsuccessful Pope Candidate Blames Media
Ryan Budget Plan Gets Endorsement From Ayn Rand
Poll: Majority of Americans Opposed to Being Killed by Drone
Pentagon: Cuts Could Hamper Ability to Invade Countries for No Reason
House Science Committee Questions Existence of Meteors
Chinese Hackers Drop U.S. Government From List of High-Value Targets
NRA Defends Right to Own Politicians
Gun Sales Soar on Photo of Armed Obama
Republicans Praise Obama for Offering Bold Vision to Thwart
List of Politically Achievable Reforms Down to Just Three Minor Changes to Traffic Code

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Republicans Apologize to Top 1.5 Percent

Washington Celebrates Solving Totally Unnecessary Crisis They Created

Senate Outraged at Having to Work Weekend to Save Nation

Al-Qaida Disbands; Says Job of Destroying U.S. Economy Now in Congress’ Hands

GOP Freshmen Saddened by Failure to Shut Down Government on First Day

Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack

Russell Crowe Praised for Stunning Portrayal of Man Who Cannot Sing or Act in ‘Les Miserables’

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:
Billionaires Warn Higher Taxes Could Prevent Them From Buying Politicians
Boehner: Obama Needs to Stop Acting Like He Won Election
Time Names Mitt Romney Man of the Year 1912
U.S. Signs Declaration of Dependence on China
Obama Paranoid Government Coming for His Guns
Mumford and Sons Can’t Believe They All Got Each Other Mandolins for Christmas
Taylor Swift Apparently Now Dating ‘Garfield’ Creator Jim Davis
‘The Hobbit’ Features 53-Minute-Long Scene of Bilbo Baggins Trying to Figure Out What to Pack

Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Obama: ‘I Will Allow 10 States to Secede, But No More’
Republicans Blast Susan Rice for Misleading Public: ‘That’s Our Job’
Disturbance of Arafat’s Grave Casts Horrible Curse on Middle East
Congressmen Torn Between Meaningless Pledge to Anti-Tax Zealot, Well-Being of Nation
Obama: Second Term Will Be Like ‘Breaking Bad’ Times ‘Homeland’ Plus ‘The Sopranos’
New Season of ‘Downton Abbey’ Jumps Forward to Year 2121