• Obama Denies Role in Government
• Republicans Agree to Stop Using Word ‘Scandal’ in Every Sentence if Obama Resigns
• Obama Asks Staff to Start Cc’ing Him on Stuff
• Kim Jong Un Defends Right to Obtain Journalists’ Phone Records
• GOP Split Over Whether to Waste Time Investigating Benghazi or Repealing Obamacare
• Obama Supporter Has Perfectly Improbable Explanation Absolving President From Blame for Scandals
• Republicans Question Whether Obama Could Handle Actual Scandal
• ‘Our Thoughts Go Out to Oklahoma,’ Says GOP Congressman, Mentally Calculating When He Can Bring Up Benghazi Again
• Fox: New Evidence Hillary Killed Lincoln
• Republicans: Obama Must Take Action in Syria So We Can Criticize Action He Took in Syria
• Sanford’s Comeback Gives Hope to Liars
• NRA Leader Warns of Rising Cost of Senators
• Obama Orders Reinvasion of Iraq After Illuminating Trip Through Bush Presidential Library
• Yahoo Back on Top After Purchasing Millions of 13-Year-Old Girls’ Blogs
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