Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:
Scalia Furious He Had to Hear About Gay Couples All Week
‘This Is a Pointless Trip,’ Obama Says While Shaking Hands With Netanyahu
Cheney Marks 10th Anniversary of Pretending There Was Reason to Invade Iraq
Emotional Wayne LaPierre Honors Victims of Background Checks
Mississippi Bans Soft Drinks Smaller Than 20 Ounces
Supreme Court Rules Gays Can Drink 16-Ounce Sodas
Kim Jong Un: ‘The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke’