Former Kansas Attorney General Phill Kline blamed the dismissal of the case he filed against Planned Parenthood of Kansas and Mid-Missouri on a conspiracy to protect abortion providers, the Topeka Capital-Journal reported. Kline said the web of “corruption and cover-up” included Johnson County District Attorney Steve Howe, Shawnee County District Attorney Chad Taylor, Attorney General Derek Schmidt, and former Attorneys General Steve Six and Paul Morrison – multiple officials from multiple jurisdictions and political parties over multiple years. Pedro Irigonegaray, an attorney representing Planned Parenthood, offered an alternative explanation for why the case fell apart: Kline’s “incompetent prosecution” and “abuse of political power.”
Mitt Romney likes to describe to audiences how his parents read to him from Irving Stone’s “Men to Match My Mountains,” and how “a fellow” or “homeowner” once told him the book’s title came from a four-line poem by 19th-century poet Sam Walter Foss. Last week Romney went further, reported the Washington Post: “I was actually at the home of Bill Koch (in photo), who you may also have heard of, and I mentioned a book I’d read, called ‘Men to Match My Mountains.’ And he said, ‘You know, the title of that book comes from a poem.’ And then he proceeded to recite it, which I thought after, I don’t know, 60 years since high school, was a pretty impressive thing. And I’ve now learned it myself.” Koch, whose brothers Charles and David of Wichita-based Koch Industries are high-profile backers of Romney’s bid, is also invested in the election, the Post reported. Bill Koch and his company have donated at least $2 million to a pro-Romney super political action committee, and he recently hosted a Romney fundraiser on Cape Cod. The Foss poem goes like this: “Bring me men to match my mountains,/Bring me men to match my plains./Men with empires in their purpose,/And new eras in their brains.”
The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:
Republicans Move Convention to 17th Century
Nation’s Underfunded Public Education System To Experiment With Shortened 6-Day School Year
Republicans Condemn Akin’s Comments As Blemish On Party’s Otherwise Spotless Women’s Rights Record
‘Romney Murdered JonBenét Ramsey,’ New Obama Campaign Ad Alleges
Pregnant Woman Relieved To Learn Her Rape Was Illegitimate
Americans Pool Together $945.23 To Counteract Corporate Money’s Influence In Politics
Nation’s Economists Quietly Evacuating Their Families
Obama Criticized For Living In Lavish Mansion While Most Americans Struggle To Make Ends Meet