The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:
OBAMA REVEALS UNSUCCESSFUL RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF KENYA; Disqualified by U.S. Birth Certificate
TRUMP DOGGED BY RUMORS HIS HAIR IS NOT FROM U.S.; So-called ‘Balders’ Movement Gathers Steam
MITT ROMNEY HAUNTED BY PAST OF TRYING TO HELP UNINSURED SICK PEOPLE
CARNIVAL BARKERS BLAST OBAMA FOR COMPARING THEM TO TRUMP
PENTAGON UPGRADES LIBYA FROM QUAGMIRE TO STALEMATE
EXPORTING DEMOCRACY HAS LED TO SHORTAGE OF IT IN THE U.S, EXPERTS SAY; Wisconsin, Florida Hardest Hit
GLENN BECK MOVES TO SCI FI CHANNEL; No Format Change Necessary
PALIN, BACHMANN SEEK TWO ADDITIONAL HORSEMEN
STUDY: ONLY 4 SCENIC ROUTES LEFT IN COUNTRY
