“It’s hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. And you know, it’s incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: the Republican Party.” — Jay Leno
“Obama’s pick to head the TSA withdrew his name because he performed an illegal background check on his ex-wife’s boyfriend. Still, that’s an improvement from the TSA’s normal procedure: not performing background checks.” — Jimmy Fallon
“Scott Brown made a victory speech where he mentioned his two daughters were available. At least this explains his campaign slogan, ‘Scott Brown, creepy for Massachusetts, creepy for America.’” — Conan O’Brien
