The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:
OBAMA NAMES THURSDAY ‘DRINK A BEER WITH SOMEONE WHO ARRESTED YOU DAY’; President Touts Healing Power of Beer
AMERICA LESS SAFE WITH PALIN NO LONGER KEEPING EYE ON RUSSIA; Former Gov. Urges Wasillans to Fill Security Void
GOLDMAN SACHS IN TALKS TO ACQUIRE TREASURY DEPARTMENT; Sister Entities to Share Employees, Money
OBAMA AXES PENTAGON PLAN TO BUILD BILLION-DOLLAR TANK IN SHAPE OF DRAGON
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