The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:
MISS CALIFORNIA VOWS TO USE HER NAKED BREASTS FOR GOOD; Fight Against Gay Marriage Will Be ‘Tireless, Topless’
SOCIAL SECURITY OVERHAULED TO PROVIDE ‘EARLY-DEATH INCENTIVES’
CHENEY TO TRAVEL AROUND COUNTRY IN SOUND TRUCK; Hopes to Bring Pro-Torture Message to Every State
ANGRY CLEVELAND INDIANS FANS DEMAND TEAM TAKE STEROIDS; Threaten Boycott of ’Roid-free Squad
CNN WARNS SWINE FLU COULD CONTINUE THROUGH SWEEPS; Scary Reporting Spreads to MSNBC
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