Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

spoofslogo13The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:

CHENEY STARTS PRO-TORTURE FACEBOOK PAGE; Creates Social Network for Waterboarding Fans

OBAMA OPENS CHEVY DEALERSHIP ON WHITE HOUSE LAWN; Slashes Prices on Malibus, Cobalts

TALENTED UGLY PERSON BAFFLES WORLD; Networks Lift Restrictions on Unsightly

JIM CRAMER DECLARES DEPRESSION OVER, MILLIONS PANIC; ‘Run for Your Lives’ Heard on Wall Street

MADOFF TO HELP U.S. SELL BAD ASSETS; Legendary Swindler Pressed Into Service

19 Comments

  1. Monkeyhawk
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 6:36 am | Permalink

    Except, considering the CONs who participate in this forum, this is probably real.

    http://www.homestarrunner.com/pistols4pandas.html

  2. ProudMan
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 7:16 am | Permalink

    MADOFF HIRED TO RUN SOCIAL SECURITY ADMINISTRATION: Previous Ponzi Scheme Experience was a plus says Obama.

  3. ANTI
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 8:30 am | Permalink

    O’Bama realises that he is the President of the USA, not Venezuela.

  4. Phantom
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 6:28 pm | Permalink

    News Flash: Bohner defects to Democratic Party.

  5. Phantom
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 6:30 pm | Permalink

    Republicans to run on, “You Can’t blame us, we never did anything!” platform in 2012.

  6. Jed
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 8:23 pm | Permalink

    Anti realizes his life has been a lost cause.

  7. ANTI
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 8:40 pm | Permalink

    #
    Jed
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 8:23 pm | Permalink

    Anti realizes his life has been a lost cause.
    ======================

    Ah, new friends, they are great!

  8. JimJohnson
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 8:43 pm | Permalink

    Obama balances the US budget.

  9. JimJohnson
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 8:43 pm | Permalink

    Obama defends America!

  10. JimJohnson
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 9:00 pm | Permalink

    The Eagle adopts an honest news reporting style.

    Conservative truth-loving readers return.

    Profits go up to record levels!

  11. outlander
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 9:17 pm | Permalink

    SPECTOR TO APPEAR AT LANDON LECTURE SERIES

    Pennsylvania Senator Spector, who lived for a time as a youth in Russell, KS, is expected to speak about the importance of loyalty and selflessness.

  12. JimJohnson
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 9:26 pm | Permalink

    MNI stock ’soars’ to above the $1 mark.

    Closes today at $1.01 per share.

    WOW!

  13. BlueJay
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 9:28 pm | Permalink

    Republicans hopeful about 2010 election!

    In other news, the devil was hit by a low flying pig while ice skating.

  14. JimJohnson
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 9:29 pm | Permalink

    Brownlee takes firearms training, and shoots a gun for the first time in his life. (A huge .22 Browning Buckmark with 10 whole rounds in the magazine!)

    And likes it!

    Brownlee now becomes a 2nd Amendment SUPPORTER.

  15. JimJohnson
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 9:33 pm | Permalink

    BJ gets a job, and keeps it.

  16. JimJohnson
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 9:34 pm | Permalink

    BJ now self-reliant, able to pay his own way, and support his own kid.

    Even buys health insurance for his kid.

    Miracles can happen.

  17. BlueJay
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 9:39 pm | Permalink

    Frustrated, bitter little mid management drone “JimJohnson” announces , “It’s soup yet!”

  18. JimJohnson
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 9:45 pm | Permalink

    BJ finally figures out what his initials stand for.

    Wishes he could give one.

  19. brokebackmtn
    Posted April 29, 2009 at 4:01 pm | Permalink

    JimJohnson
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 9:45 pm | Permalink
    BJ finally figures out what his initials stand for.

    Wishes he could give one.
    ______________
    JJ is the first in line for one; and at the critical moment shouts, “Wow! I never had one before! Praise Jesus!”