Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

spoofslogo12The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:
IN NEW TERROR VIDEO, AIG DEMANDS HUGE RANSOM FROM U.S.; Shadowy Group Seeks Bonuses, Golf Retreats
CHENEY TO PEN BUSH’S MEMOIR; First Vice President in History to Write President’s Book
LOCAL OFFICE BETTING ON WHO WILL WIN NCAA TOURNAMENT POOL AT OTHER OFFICE
FDA APPROVES SALMONELLA
U.S. TROOPS IN IRAQ EXCITED TO FINALLY RETURN TO AFGHANISTAN

4 Comments

  1. Regular
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 7:09 am | Permalink

    WICHITA ANNOUNCES NEW ‘WALKER’ PROGRAM IN CONJUNCTION WITH PARKING SHORTAGE AT NEW ARENA – It is estimated that ticket holders for the new arena will have to walk up to twelve blocks because of the parking shortage. County officials decided the solution was to launch a ‘Walk for Wichita Health’ program to compensate for lack of parking.

  2. bth
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 10:19 am | Permalink

    Actually regular, that would not be a 100% bad idea. It might surprise people but citizens of New York and chicago are healthier than Wichitans. The reason: walking. Not to arenas but to everywhere. Since they rely so much on transit they end up walking the 10 blocks to lunch and 8 blocks to the after-work dring before heading home. Then, when time comes to go to an Arena-type even nothing changes – train to Union Station than walk.

  3. Raptor
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 6:12 pm | Permalink

    Would be interesting to see the backup on that one. I have been one of many people in NY/Chicago/LA who walk..a block or two to a deli or subway stop or bar. Considering the much higher levels of smog, I don’t know that I could follow the line that they are much healthier…

  4. Jed
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 2:40 pm | Permalink

    Rapt,
    I have no idea what the levels downtown are now, but we used to have a smog meter of some sort at Main and Douglas that for a while was off the chart. Especially on Friday and Saturday evenings.