“U.N. officials said they desperately need $7 billion to help people cope with disasters, but they’re having a hard time getting people to send rescue money. Here’s what the U.N. should do: Invest in bad mortgages, run a bank into the ground, give yourself a bonus, get some spa treatments and, in no time, the government will send you $750 billion.” – Jay Leno
“I heard today that the federal government was raising, like, $40 billion to bail out Citigroup. . . . Honestly, when you think about it, who doesn’t really feel sorry for credit card companies?” – David Letterman
“According to some statistics the government released yesterday, Mexican immigration to the United States has dropped 42 percent over the last two years. And you have to hand it to President Bush. He knew that the way to stop people from sneaking into the country, it’s not to build a fence or a wall, it’s to make this country very undesirable. Most illegal immigrants come here to make money, but now we don’t have any money anymore. That’s No. 43 for you, always thinking ahead.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“You know the White House turkey? Turned down the pardon. Said all his money’s in the market. Nothing left to live for.” — Leno
15 Comments
From Telegraph newspaper:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financetopics/recession/3527803/Recession-When-the-money-goes-so-does-the-toxic-wife.html
“This credit crunch is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.”
We’ll survive, just like all the other bad economic times we’ve endured (although this is the biggest in my life)…maybe we’ll make some positive changes along the way. I’ve vowed to pay off my credit card and afterward pay my balance in full in each month. I know that isn’t good for the economy or the credit card industry, but right now Americans have to take care of themselves.
Mary pay it off and cut it up. I do not believe in credit cards. My suggestion….
At this point?
bush should have been asking the turkey for a pardon.
Worst, pResident, ever.
Millions of people can relate to the turkey!
Talking to my brother-in-law yesterday, having to postpone retirement due to losing so much 401k.
I agree Dog credit cards are a big part of the problem and the drive up the cost of services to boot. Retail outlets have to pay the credit card companies for the privilege of having the credit machines
Ha Ha Ha Ha.
The Fed has it’s own resources of $800 billion to fix America!
Yeah!
Soon, we will see the Socialist American Experiment in Complete Failure. Can’t wait to see the crybabies crying cause they didn’t get what they expected Government to give to them!
Big Brother decides now! Much better choices will be made by a benevolent all powerful Government, then by a market based system.
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20081128/OPINION03/811280341/-1/NEWS04
But the American people need something, too: reassurance the government knows what it’s doing. (Riiiggggghhhhttttt!!!!!)
Where’s the oversight of bailout spending?
(What’s the source of the Fed’s $800 BILLION? Money Trees! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. They are coming to take Bernanke away!)
Obama is in way over his head! Ha Ha Ha, that’s Funny for America!
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/bus/stories/112608dnbusbailout.2022704.html
But with the government now having already pledged or spent $5 trillion to jumpstart the economy, Obama offered no specifics on how he intended to reduce the growing amount of federal debt.
“I think I would hardly be expected to provide you a detailed list now,” he said when asked about future budget cuts.
After fielding three questions from reporters, Obama left to go visit a Chicago food bank, ahead of spending Thanksgiving with family members at his Hyde Park house and doing some Black Friday shopping. After all, Obama’s daughters Malia and Sasha have already submitted their Christmas wish-lists. And for anyone wishing for the “ideal” Thanskgiving turkey, Obama said, Volcker and Goolsbee have “special” recipes. As for their recipes to fix the flailing economy, stay tuned…
The Lighter Side…
this is really light and funny, Ahaaa Ha Ha.
Money Trees you stupid Americans, the Fed is getting money from the Money Trees!
You dumsihts actually believe this? Ah, that’s what’s funny! How stupid you dumsihts are!
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/bus/stories/112608dnbusbailout.2022704.html
The use of Fed resources also gets around another problem the Treasury faced: a limited amount of money in the program. While the Treasury has to borrow money from the public to finance its rescue programs, the Fed doesn’t. A central bank can effectively create new money by pumping cash, also known as reserves, into the banking system. The Fed is doing that now. Not only is it pumping in reserves, it is deciding where that cash should go, through its own lending programs. The $800 billion being committed to buy mortgage-related assets and other assets backed by consumer loans will not count against the $700 billion rescue program.
$5 Trillion from the money trees!
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2008/11/help-is-on-the.html
But with the government now having already pledged or spent $5 trillion to jumpstart the economy, Obama offered no specifics on how he intended to reduce the growing amount of federal debt.
No WAIT A MINUTE…………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not $5 Trillion.
STOP! STOP THE PRESSES!
$7 TRILLION!
(Oh who cares, give or take a couple of Trillion Dollars!)
Nobody knows what the fcuk they are doing in Government today!
HA HA, the Lighter Side of the News!!!!! HA hA ha!
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/bus/stories/112608dnbusbailout.2022704.html
The latest federal moves raised U.S. commitments to contain the financial crisis to nearly $7 trillion.
The Lighter Side of the Great Economic Collapse is how the WE Eagle thinks the next Great Depression is so fcuking funny!
Yeah, Funny! HA
Ha
Ha
Ha
Ha Ha
Ha Ha Haaa Ha
Isn’t this stil “Flip-flop” Hank Paulson’s show to run? Not Obama’s? First, he wanted to use the bail-out to buy the bad mortgages, then he reversed course. And now, since THAT money has been committed somewhere else, he again wanted to buy the bad mortgages. What’s wrong with some coherence? He’s acting like he’s gambling his own money there…
From one of the links above:
Because here is what the average American sees: Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is running the entire multi-trillion-dollar bailout show – and writing and rewriting the script as he goes along. It’s a script that no longer seems to make sense.
For example, on Tuesday, the Bush administration and the Federal Reserved pledged $800 billion to pump up ailing credit markets, including $600 billion to purchase mortgage-backed securities.
Just a few weeks ago, Paulson announced bailout money would NOT be used to purchase mortgage-backed securities. Which came after Congress approved the bailout plan to do that, among other purposes.
Now apparently 800 billion “other” dollars – taken from the Federal Reserve’s resources – will be used to purchase mortgaged-backed securities that the government wanted to buy, then didn’t want to buy, then did again.
It’s understood that Paulson may have to change course over and over as markets react and the economy changes. All this is complicated. But his actions must have some coherence, he must be able to explain them with clarity and the American people must be able to make some sense of it all. Why, for example, do blue-collar automakers get denied $25 billion one week, and the white-collar Citigroup gets $20 billion the next?
What rationale is used to decide who gets bailed out and who doesn’t?
Who is overseeing Paulson?