Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:
Palin Hoping to Be Named Ambassador to Africa; ‘A Darned Important Country,’ Says Guv
Failure to Blow Election Stuns Democrats; Party Faithful Mourn End to Losing Tradition
Obama Infomercial to Offer Americans Rock-hard Abs; Candidate Unveils ‘Obamaciser’
Retail Sector Soars on News that Palin Seeks New Outfit; Guv’s Shopping Gives Economy Much-needed Jolt

19 Comments

  1. KSGolfnut
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 7:54 am | Permalink

    Obama wakes up Wednesday morning – sees challenges in front of him – demands recount.

  2. Political_mama
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 8:05 am | Permalink

    “Americans thank Bush for his service to America.”

  3. beber
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 8:13 am | Permalink

    Alabama changes name

  4. outlander
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 8:17 am | Permalink

    OBAMA CABLE NETWORK FORMED

    “We were struck by the public’s feelings of disconnect since the election and end of 24-7 Obama commercials”, said a spokesperson. On our new network, you can find all of the Obama political ads and programming you knew and loved, including the famous 1/2 hour ad that preempted the World Series, and snippets from his European tour. And of course the famous acceptance speech at “The Columns”. It’s going to be “All Obama, all the time”.

    The “Narcissist One Network” will go live on November 15th.

    (tip of the hat to Mary)

  5. ANTI
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 8:25 am | Permalink

    Obama names Pit Bull as new puppy for his kids…

    First order of business, Legalize Dog Fights!!!

    Obama signs bill as a ’shout out’ to his Homies in South Chicago.

  6. bth
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 8:38 am | Permalink

    PALIN BLAMES BUSH FOR LOSS!

    oops, that one is real:

    http://www.mcclatchydc.com/homepage/story/55562.html

  7. Posted November 10, 2008 at 9:36 am | Permalink

    GOP BLAMES LOSS ON PARTIAL RAPTURE

    “Too many of our people were gone–only their clothes were left” claims party faithful.

  8. Posted November 10, 2008 at 9:37 am | Permalink

    But somehow . . . they did take their wallets . . .

    Who says “you can’t take it with you”?

  9. XXX
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 11:27 am | Permalink

    BLOGGER REGULAR DIES AND IS RESURECTED!!!!!!!

  10. JMWalker
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 11:41 am | Permalink

    BLOGGER FRANKLIN DISOWNED BY RNC DUE TO FAILURE TO REPEAT LIES ENOUGH TO INFLUENCE ELECTION.

    In a related story, Franklin caught writing on grade school blackboard, “I NEVER LIE; I NEVER LIE; I NEVER LIE,” over and over again. School principal orders Franklin to clean chalk erasures for the next month.

  11. Phantom
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 12:16 pm | Permalink

    All fictitious ACORN registrations traced back to a person residing in Ks., known sometimes as J.M.

  12. mxyzptlk
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 12:19 pm | Permalink

    Obama Gets Pet Pig Named Sarah for Kids
    Instead of a Dog

  13. Phantom
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 12:34 pm | Permalink

    Obama to have lipstick wearing pit bull as first dog.

  14. JimJohnson
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

    Her name is Michelle.

  15. JimJohnson
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

    First Btich.

  16. laurieindra
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 3:48 pm | Permalink

    jimjohnsons comments out of line. Need to be pulled.

  17. JMWalker
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 7:04 pm | Permalink

    THIS JUST IN:
    NEWT ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE REALLY STUPID REPUBLICANS OF AMERICA CLUB!
    =======================================================
    There, raptor, that okay by you?

  18. writerdog
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 9:27 pm | Permalink

    OBAMA’S SECRET POLITICAL LEANING REVEALED!

    While being secretly recorded at a President elect meeting of potential cabinet members.
    Barrack Obama is heard to say, “We will slash their throats and bath in their blood!”.
    William Kristol of the Weekly Standard stated that shows Barrack Obama is really a “Social-conservative” as he is quoting from the Guild book for new members.

    Charles Krauthhammer when ask if Obama might be a Neo-conservative said, “not hardly, if he was a
    Neo-conservative. He would have said “we will slash their throats and bath in their blood, then take their wallet from their dead bodies!”.

    When asked President Bush said, “at first I thought it was Dick Cheney but than realized that it could not be. Dick is a purist and would only bath in virgin blood.”.

  19. BlueJay
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 9:44 pm | Permalink

    Cons suffer electile dysfunction!