It’s apparently never too early to talk presidential politics. The Web site Politico reports that Mike Huckabee soon will revisit Iowa and South Carolina to promote his new book. Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, will address a conservative Christian crowd and tour flood damage in Iowa this month. Said anti-tax crusader Grover Norquist: “Jindal will be president. I don’t know the year.” Meanwhile, columnist Robert Novak is talking up Newt Gingrich (in photo): “What is certain is that Gingrich has the desire and the will. He has a deep-seated ambition. He had not even settled into the House speaker’s chair in 1995 when he confessed to me his presidential desires for 1996. That was not to be, but he never abandoned the personal dream and is ready to pursue it now.”
The satirical news Web site the Onion spoofed the historic national election results by making its lead story last Wednesday about the “thrilling conclusion to one of the longest and most anticipated elections in U.S. history” – a city council race in Wichita. Wichita City Council races weren’t on the ballot this year, of course, but the fake story did include a lot of accurate Wichita details, such as correctly identifying local landmarks and the name of Wichita’s mayor. And the platform of the fictitious winning candidate (in photo) sounded pretty good: a proposed downtown parking facility and a streamlined recycling pickup schedule. The news story summarized: “At last, the whole dramatic saga – the whisper campaigns about new property taxes on the Rolling Hills Country Club, the attack ads in The Wichita Eagle, the stirring speeches on issues as fundamental as the proposed remedies to traffic congestion on Kellogg Drive – have come to a final, thrilling and, for many, joyful conclusion.”
The GOP leadership split of the two chambers of the Kansas Legislature arguably has been good for Kansans, forcing the conservatives who control the House and the moderates who control the Senate to find consensus. Should state Sen. Susan Wagle, R-Wichita, find the votes to take the Senate presidency away from Sen. Steve Morris, R-Hugoton, conservatives would reign. But Wagle’s rise to that post would be satisfying for apolitical reasons: No woman or Wichitan has ever been president of the Kansas Senate. The last Kansas House speaker from Wichita? Dale Bryant in 1949-50.
The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:
Palin Hoping to Be Named Ambassador to Africa; ‘A Darned Important Country,’ Says Guv
Failure to Blow Election Stuns Democrats; Party Faithful Mourn End to Losing Tradition
Obama Infomercial to Offer Americans Rock-hard Abs; Candidate Unveils ‘Obamaciser’
Retail Sector Soars on News that Palin Seeks New Outfit; Guv’s Shopping Gives Economy Much-needed Jolt
It’s apparently never too early to talk presidential politics. The Web site Politico reports that Mike Huckabee soon will revisit Iowa and South Carolina to promote his new book. Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, will address a conservative Christian crowd and tour flood damage in Iowa this month. Said anti-tax crusader Grover Norquist: “Jindal will be president. I don’t know the year.” Meanwhile, columnist Robert Novak is talking up Newt Gingrich (in photo): “What is certain is that Gingrich has the desire and the will. He has a deep-seated ambition. He had not even settled into the House speaker’s chair in 1995 when he confessed to me his presidential desires for 1996. That was not to be, but he never abandoned the personal dream and is ready to pursue it now.”
