If a vice presidential nomination can be measured by the humor it inspires, McCain-Palin could start measuring the drapes:
“Here’s good news, ladies and gentlemen. The Palin family crisis that we were talking about on Sunday and Monday, that has been solved now. And today the baby is being adopted by Angelina Jolie.” — David Letterman
“Gov. Palin announced over the weekend that her 17-year-old unmarried daughter is five months’ pregnant. And you thought John Edwards was in trouble before! Now he has really done it.” — Jay Leno
“John McCain’s VP pick is the governor of Alaska, an unknown hockey mom named Sarah Palin that no one ever heard of. The only other job she had in politics was the mayor of a small town known as Wasilla, Alaska, and now she has the opportunity to be on a ticket opposite of Barack Obama, the first black man she’s ever seen.” — Bill Maher
“And you’ve got to love this: Sarah Palin is an avid hunter. An avid hunter. A vice president who likes guns? Well, what could go wrong there?” — Letterman
“And how are you going to be the vice president of the United States with five kids to take care of? She’s got a 4-month-old of her own, she’s about to become a grandmother, and she’s partnered with John McCain. How many diapers can one woman possibly change?” — Jimmy Kimmel
“Palin and McCain are a good pair. She’s pro-life and he’s clinging to life.” — Leno
After a clip of Fox News’ (and former Wichitan) Steve Doocy assuring that “she does know about international relations because she is right up there in Alaska, right next door to Russia,” Jon Stewart observed: “When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.”
“Are you kidding me, the mayor of Wasilla, Alaska? Yeah, that’s who you want in the White House during a time of crisis. When she got a phone call at 3 in the morning, it was because a moose had gotten in the garbage can.” — Maher
“Here’s the amazing part: Back in 1984, Sarah Palin actually came second in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant. Now she could be vice president. You know what that means? For the first time in history, a beauty pageant contestant might actually bring about world peace. They’ve talked about it for years; here’s one that could do it!” — Leno
40 Comments
Some are funny, but it’s pretty bad taste to take swipe at the kid.
Fun thread Rhonda…though I don’t agree with some of the insinuations they are cute.
Here’s a clip demonstrating why Democrats need a big government to get them through life.
Two Democrats in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRBchZLkQR0
The McCain / Palin ticket is a sad stupid joke they are playing on the collective. Thankfully, the collective is fewer in number than those with individual thoughts and abilities.
“Individual thoughts”?
Haven’t heard many, from the left, on this blog!
How about a few jokes about the “community organizer” —
Community Organizer = radical left wing aggitator, hired by Marxists, who’s job it was to enlist the services of Church members in “legislative” or “community” causes, thereby LEGALLY, giving Obama the ability to sign up church members, on his “petitions” and then use those name lists to get elected to office, along with other radicals, in the dirty Chicago political machine!
Gosh, thats not funny, is it?
Yeah, Letterman got owned by Dr. Phil when Letterman made a statement about Palin’s teenager daughter.
Now that was funny.
She might bring about world peace, but can she read a map?
Dr. Phil, that ultimate authority? Case closed.
Borghunter, numerous borgs at 12:00!
They should be making jokes about the candidate with a record number of lobbyist running his campaign is going to be the ‘change agent’ and ‘govt. reformer’! Now that’s funny!
Republicans: against Change, before they wer for Change!
And, who will be their Champion? None other than Mr. Keating Five!
An ardently pro-life, gun enthusiast, mother of five, athlete and former beauty contestant with a very masculine husband as opposed to the usual run of staid politicians has got to be great fodder for humor.
“John McCain says that he’s been tested, re-tested and tested again. And that’s just his prostate.” –Jay Leno
“There was some breaking news out of Dayton, Ohio today, where Republican presidential candidate John McCain introduced the world to his third wife.” –Jon Stewart
“Actually, it was kind of a smart choice. McCain went with a woman because he didn’t want to have to be in a position to have to get CPR from Mitt Romney.” –Jay Leno
Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin’s baby daddy and a self-described “f**king redneck”, who found himself on stage alongside McCain and Palin after her acceptance speech. As TMZ noted, unprotected sex has its perks.
McCain had more viewers than Obama!
I knew late nite commedians were going to have a field day! Mccain and Palin, now that’s a Pair to Draw to!
“My friends, we have reached a crisis, the first probably serious crisis internationally since the end of the Cold War. This is an act of aggression.” –on Russia’s invasion of Georgia, forgetting crises such as the Gulf War, 9/11, and the Iraq war, Aspen, Colorado, Aug. 14, 2008
“In the 21st century nations don’t invade other nations.” –on Russia’s military action against Georgia, Birmingham, Mich., Aug. 13, 2008
“I was looking at the Sturgis schedule, and noticed that you had a beauty pageant, so I encouraged Cindy to compete. I told her [that] with a little luck, she could be the only woman to serve as both the First Lady and Miss Buffalo Chip.” –on the Miss Buffalo Chip Pageant, which features topless (and occasionally bottomless) contestants, Sturgis, South Dakota, Aug. 4, 2008
“We have a lot of work to do. It’s a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border.” –referring to a border that does not exist, ABC News interview, July 21, 2008
“I was concerned about a couple of steps that the Russian government took in the last several days. One was reducing the energy supplies to Czechoslovakia.” –referring to a country that no longer exists, Phoenix, Arizona, July 14, 2008
“I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself. I don’t expect to be a great communicator, I don’t expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need.” –New York Times interview, July 13, 2008
“Americans have got to understand that we are paying present-day retirees with the taxes paid by young workers in America today. And that’s a disgrace. It’s an absolute disgrace and it’s got to be fixed.” –on Social Security, Denver, Colorado, July 7, 2008
“Well, basically, it’s a Google.” –on how he’s conducting his VP search, Richmond, Virginia, June 9, 2008
“We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies.” –Kenner, Louisiana, June 3, 2008
“I’m going to be honest: I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated.”
“The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should. I’ve got Greenspan’s book.”
“No one has supported President Bush on Iraq more than I have.”
“It’s not social issues I care about.”
“The fact is that I have agreed with President Bush far more than I have disagreed. And on the transcendent issues, the most important issues of our day, I’ve been totally in agreement and support of President Bush. –”Meet the Press” interview, June 19, 2005
“Americans are very frustrated, and they have every right to be. We’ve wasted a lot of our most precious treasure, which is American lives.” –on the Iraq war
“I think I’d just commit suicide.” –in October 2006, on the prospects of the Democrats taking back the Senate in the November election
“No, I’m calling you a f*cking jerk.” –to fellow Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley, when Grassley asked “Are you calling me stupid?”
“Only an a**hole would put together a budget like this … I wouldn’t call you an a**hole unless you really were an a**hole.” –to Budget Committee Chairman and fellow Repulican Sen. Pete Domenici, during a Senate budget hearing
“lindainks55″ cites Leno –
“[McCain… didn’t want to have to be in a position to have to get CPR from Mitt Romney.”
I’m not a big Leno fan, but that’s pretty funny.
We’re getting a lot of back-hall reports of how the delegates to the Republic Party Convention were mostly red-meat twice-born evangelicals, and how lukewarm they were about McCoot as the nominee, and how the Trophy Veep got them interested again.
Among those disgruntled Veep candidates who are really pissed in private are Joe Lieberman, Tom Ridge, Minnesota’s Pawlanky (something like that), and Mittens Romney.
As a matter of practical politics, when as a major political party’s convention ever before been considered a “success” when all it’s achieved is solidifying the party’s *BASE?* And not with the nominee for President but for the Vice-Presidential pick?!
“At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c*nt.” -to his wife, Cindy, after she playfully twirled his hair and said “You’re getting a little thin up there,” as reported in the book The Real McCain by Cliff Schecter
“Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father.” –at a 1998 Republican fundraiser
“Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, ‘Where is that marvelous ape?’” –a joke McCain reportedly told during his first Senate race in 1986
Paul:
Your comments on last night’s ratings were correct… on their face.
However, according to TV Week, the majority of viewers for McCain’s speech came from NBC, where they went immediately to the RNC from a football game.
CBS’ numbers were up 3% from Obama’s speech, but ABC was down 2%.
Definitive cable numbers will be out this afternoon.
But, as anyone in television can tell you, the retention rate for anything aired after an NFL game is next to nothing. The TV set may be on, but people are likely getting up, going to the bathroom, et.al.
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mrcontroversy
Posted September 5, 2008 at 12:39 pm | Permalink
Paul:
Your comments on last night’s ratings were correct… on their face.
However, according to TV Week, the majority of viewers for McCain’s speech came from NBC, where they went immediately to the RNC from a football game.
CBS’ numbers were up 3% from Obama’s speech, but ABC was down 2%.
Definitive cable numbers will be out this afternoon.
But, as anyone in television can tell you, the retention rate for anything aired after an NFL game is next to nothing. The TV set may be on, but people are likely getting up, going to the bathroom, et.al.
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Didn’t realize your station’s coat hanger antennae could pick up cable. :D
Regular:
May I suggest the Evelyn Woodhead Spid Ridding Course?
Linda could you find some new material. These are getting old. McCain may or may not have said them. If he did it was poor taste and really not funny to most people. As an avid reader I am sure you know that sometimes authors stretch the truth and just outright lie on ocassion.
Why, okob, what happened to that ability to turn off, not watch, not read, not listen that you were lecturing about?
Everything I posted was properly cited. You have objections with any one of the quotes, and are unable to follow your own advice, maybe you could object to the quotes authors.
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lindainks55
Posted September 5, 2008 at 12:54 pm | Permalink
Why, okob, what happened to that ability to turn off, not watch, not read, not listen that you were lecturing about?
Everything I posted was properly cited. You have objections with any one of the quotes, and are unable to follow your own advice, maybe you could object to the quotes authors.
———————–
Actually, you didn’t properly document the source, you attributed the quotes to an entity or a speaker.
Linda a little snideness showing from those ‘holier than thou lips’. I merely pointed out that you and Pmom have used the same accusations against many, many, many times. They have never been proven to be accurate despite your claim that they have.
But thats ok I don’t hold grudges so if the left needs to feel warm and fuzzy by trying to run down the GOP candidates go for it. I can see the insecurities are strong in the left zone today.
And Linda if you took my posts as lecturing then please accept my apologies – they certainly weren’t meant that way.
Did I say anything was documented, Reg? I said “cited.”
okob, I usually don’t interact with idiots. I made a mistake a few minutes ago. I won’t again. I will post what I choose, and if you have problems or objections you may not read my posts, complain or request they’re removed, or just bitch like usual. I do hold grudges. You are so much better than me!
Here is one example of properly citing a work from the Web on a discussion list.
Merrian, Joanne. “Spinoff: Monsterpiece Theatre.” Online posting. 30 April 1994. Shaksper:
The Global Electronic Shakespeare Conf. 27 Aug. 1997
.
Of course, I myself didn’t attribute the Website I received that information from, so it would be a fair accusation that I plagiarized the example.
Leading by example, no matter how many stab wounds I take. :D
oops forgot to remove the markers and the URL didn’t show up after “The Global Electronic…”
Merrian, Joanne. “Spinoff: Monsterpiece Theatre.” Online posting. 30 April 1994. Shaksper:
The Global Electronic Shakespeare Conf. 27 Aug. 1997
http://www.arts.ubc.ca/english/iemls/shak/MONSTERP_SPINOFF.txt
Thank you Linda. For once you were honest in your posting.
“You’re getting a little thin up there,”
So is she.
http://sarahpalinexposed.com/
Now I haven’t read the article, but scroll down to the daily show clip- its one of the best.
Republicans have a hard time laughing at their hypocrisy.
Call US Weekly’s advertisers
http://www.boycottusweekly.com/advertisers.html
jjj,
To be fair, I checked out your link. I had no idea who Jann Wenner was, so I check her out, too.
Yes, US Weekly did a huge cover story on Palin. From what I heard, it was a bit of fluff to draw people to continue to buy the magazine for “more news” as the next 2 months go by. Typical. Leaning right? Maybe. I don’t buy gossip magazines, even with all the “juicy” stuff about Saracuda. I don’t buy magazines at all.
Men’s Journal is owned by Jann Wenner also. Not sure it has any leanings, but if it’s the magazine I’m thinking of, it has some hot guys on the cover.
Rolling Stone Magazine, also owned by Jann Wenner, is, I would say, left-leaning. I’m almost certain it’s the magazine that interview Robert Kennedy Jr. on the Ohio election mess. Or was it Florida? Either/or. I’m sure it got its fair share of “boycott the advertisers” from the right for that one.
So it appears Jann Wenner likes working both sides of the political aisle, and I’m sure she (and the advertisers) enjoy the money they all make.
“Palin a late-summer dream for late-night comics”
…. and she’s a wet dream for the old tired men of the GOP —- with Johnnnie boy leading the kleenex brigade …………..
Sorry. Jann Wenner is a “he”. I had a high school friend named Jann, so I confused myself. Easy to do, I assure you. :)
Subpoenas to be issued for Palin-trooper probe
ANCHORAGE, Alaska – The Alaska Legislature is hastening its ethics investigation into Gov. Sarah Palin’s firing of her public safety commissioner, making it far more likely it will be completed before November’s election.
State Sen. Hollis French said Friday that seven witnesses told the Legislature’s investigator they will refuse depositions and canceled their meetings. French, who is overseeing the investigation into whether Palin abused her power, said the Legislature will subpoena these witnesses, who do not include the governor.
Lawmakers say they have put the investigation on a fast track now that Palin is Republican John McCain’s running mate. The investigation previously was expected to end on Oct. 31. French said the new target date for investigator Stephen Branchflower to complete the report is Oct. 10.
“It’s just basic fairness to the governor,” said French, an Anchorage Democrat who heads the Senate Judiciary Committee. “We started to focus on Oct. 31 because that’s the end of Mr. Branchflower’s contract, but our motion says prepare a report in a timely manner.”
In July, a state oversight committee approved $100,000 for an investigation into whether Palin fired public safety commissioner Walt Monegan because he would not dismiss a trooper, Mike Wooten, who went through a messy divorce with her sister before Palin’s election as governor.
“I would like to put this behind me and move on with my life,” Wooten said in an interview with The Washington Post, published on its Web site Friday night. “I don’t wish ill will on anyone. I think that the nomination that Sarah got is great for the state of Alaska. I wish her good luck and the family good luck. I honestly think that everyone involved in this wanted to put this beyond us.”
Wooten said he was proud he had once been part of the Palin family, but he contradicted Palin’s statement that she overheard him in 2005 threaten her father during an argument with Palin’s younger sister, Molly McCann, Wooten’s wife at the time. Wooten noted that an internal investigation failed to sustain the death-threat allegation.
“That did not happen,” Wooten said. “There was obviously arguments between Molly and I, but there were no confrontations where I threatened to kill her father. I haven’t threatened to kill anyone in that family.”
Wooten said he had no direct information about efforts to have him fired after Palin became governor in 2006.
French and Branchflower, both former Anchorage prosecutors, said the state’s Legislative Council has the right to authorize the investigation.
But Palin’s state-hired attorney Thomas Van Flein said the matter should be taken up by the state’s personnel board, made up of three people appointed by former Gov. Frank Murkowski. Van Flein and Palin have asked the three members to resolve the dispute over the firing.
In the meantime, several state employees working for the governor or her administration and deemed crucial witnesses by Branchflower have canceled appointments to give depositions. All potentially could be subpoenaed.
How many Clinton staffers, friends and associates refused to testify, in order to protect Clinton?
Palin will be fine, in this case.
Nobody will care that she was curious about a man who tasered her own nephew.
On the other hand?
The Rezco case, the William Ayers case, and other cases, might hurt Obama before November:
http://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/obama_sutton_saudi/2008/09/03/127490.html?s=al&promo_code=692E-1