Late-night comics on Wall Street

With this week’s economic news, you have to laugh to keep from crying:
“Experts say we’re going through what’s known as a lock, stock and barrel financial phase. You know what that is, and how that works? People are locked out of their homes, their stocks are worthless, and the oil companies have us over a barrel. That’s how it works.” — Jay Leno
“I don’t think President Bush gets it. He doesn’t really understand these economic issues. Like today, he was asked if customers should be concerned by all these bank closings. And Bush said, ‘If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM.’” — Leno
“I’m not sure if Sarah Palin knows what to do about the economy either. Do you think she has any experience? She was asked today what to do in a bear market. And she said, ‘Well, you should shoot it, then skin it.’” — Leno
“Vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin today said she thinks the economy needs some shaking up and some fixin’. I’m pretty sure that is also her recipe for oven-baked chicken.” — Jimmy Kimmel
“Both presidential candidates reacted to the market turmoil today. Barack Obama laid out a detailed five-part plan, but John McCain’s plan is much simpler. He’s just going to have his wife fix it.” — Craig Ferguson

20 Comments

  1. Substance22
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 7:32 am | Permalink

    Q. Why is Barack Obama so thin and scrawny?
    A. If he were any heavier he wouldn’t be able to walk on water.

  2. Boxlock
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 7:36 am | Permalink

    Cute jokes, but that’s all they are.
    Obama’s financial ‘friends’ and advisers are the same guys that ran and have taken down Freedie Mac and Fannie Mae.
    Now that’s the real joke, but it’s not funny.

  3. JMWalker
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 7:47 am | Permalink

    Evidently, bl hasn’t taken the time to read the names of McCain’s financial advisers. Eighty seven of them, bl, and many were at Freedie, Fannie and a bunch of other failed or failing financial institutions. I posted their names and respective places of employment a couple of days ago. I could do it again, and if you want to claim guilt by association, then you need to read the list: McCain’s got Obama beat hands down in that department.

  4. Posted September 20, 2008 at 8:10 am | Permalink

    “I believe that the president is exhausted and the vice president has been marginalized, and what you now have is the Washington interests . . . dominating the administration,” former House speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Ga.) said in an interview yesterday. “We have now launched big-government Republicanism. If we saw France do this, Italy do this, we would have thought it was crazy. We would have had pious speeches about the folly of bureaucrats running businesses.”

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26800103

    FLIP
    FLOP

  5. Regular
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 8:54 am | Permalink

    Well let’s see Rhonda.

    You offer up jokes for Bush, McCain and Palin;

    but when it comes to the Democrats – Barack Obama, you offer up a carefully planned speech.

    Objective reporting my ass.

  6. Franklin
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 8:54 am | Permalink

    Bush has done an excellent job on this matter.
    In fact, George W. Bush has been warning the Congress to do something about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, since his first year in office.

    The mortgage industry was nothing more than a huge piggy bank, to Democrats in Congress.

    Democrats used the mortgage business to fund radical, criminal groups like ACORN, to push fraudulent voter registration.

    Democrats also used the mortgage business to finance their political campaigns.

    Democrats did not want to fix the problem.

  7. Franklin
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 8:57 am | Permalink

    Obama is “family” to Fannie Mae:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usvG-s_Ssb0

  8. JMWalker
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 9:07 am | Permalink

    Franklin
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 8:57 am | Permalink
    Obama is “family” to Fannie Mae:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usvG-s_Ssb0
    =================================================
    The cut and paste queen is at it agin. Maybe if she does it enough times, she’ll start believing it herself.

  9. JMWalker
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 9:20 am | Permalink

    McCain economic advisers come with baggage:

    To many liberal economists, Mr. Gramm’s efforts set the stage for the current crisis. Lending by noncommercial banks has soared, to about 70 percent of total lending. Investment banks, including Bear Stearns, grew too large to be allowed to fail. And, said James Galbraith, a University of Texas economist, investment banks helped create the exotic financial instruments that turned subprime mortgages into tradable securities.

    “John McCain understood the positive role of government in incenting and motivating innovation,” Ms. Fiorina said Tuesday in an interview, recalling their first meeting in 2000.

    But until recently, Ms. Fiorina’s claim to fame was 51/2 rocky years at Hewlett-Packard, where she battled the company’s founding families to push forward with a $19 billion purchase of Compaq Computer in 2002, then failed to create the profitable computer giant she had promised.

    In February 2005, she was publicly ousted by HP’s board, but not before she ordered the first of a series of leak investigations that would spin into a highly publicized scandal.

    Alarmed by leaks of boardroom deliberations to reporters covering the technology industry, HP authorized investigations that would ultimately involve private investigators lying to phone companies to obtain personal phone records; bogus e-mails to reporters, with tracer software to track forwarding; a plan to infiltrate newsrooms with spies posing as clerical workers and cleaners.

    Those efforts were tied most directly to Hewlett-Packard’s former chairwoman, Patricia Dunn, but in her 2006 memoir, Ms. Fiorina wrote that she had ordered the first investigation a month before her ouster following a Wall Street Journal report on an impending corporate reorganization.
    http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08097/870634-176.stm
    ================================================
    Real fine team, huh Franklin? The guy who started this mess, and the woman who resorted to illegal spying on her own people.

    I’ll take Obama’s people any day over those two.
    McCain has loaded his team with over 87 financial advisors from Fannie Mae, Freddie, Bear Stears, AIG, and any other failed or failing financial institution he can find. And he says he wants change. Ya, sure, the change left in your pocket. Get real Franklin, you got nothing.

  10. lindainks55
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 9:22 am | Permalink

    “I have had a strong and a long relationship on national security, I’ve been involved in every national crisis that this nation has faced since Beirut, I understand the issues, I understand and appreciate the enormity of the challenge we face from radical Islamic extremism. I am prepared. I am prepared. I need no on-the-job training. I wasn’t a mayor for a short period of time. I wasn’t a governor for a short period of time.” — John McCain explaining at an Oct. 2007 debate why Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney are not qualified to be president

  11. lindainks55
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 9:28 am | Permalink

    “My friends, we have reached a crisis, the first probably serious crisis internationally since the end of the Cold War. This is an act of aggression.” –on Russia’s invasion of Georgia, forgetting crises such as the Gulf War, 9/11, and the Iraq war. John Mccain, Aspen, Colorado, Aug. 14, 2008

    “I’m running for president of the United States, because I want to help with family values. And I think that family values are important, when we have two parent — families that are of parents that are the traditional family.” — John McCain, interview on “This Week,” July 27, 2008

  12. Posted September 20, 2008 at 9:34 am | Permalink

    Paul – the Republics had iron-clad control of the entire government for 6 years – your blaming the Democrats for what happened during that time is disingenious at best.

    As for ACORN etc – the mortgage meltdown is NOT focused in the Planeveiws of America – it is in the Esatborougs and Tallgrass areas. That has NOTHING to do with ACORN or any other low-income initiatives.

  13. Phantom
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 10:58 am | Permalink

    Nothing to do with Acorn, much to do with the bushnut, and Republicnut. I’ve often wondered if America would survive 8 yrs of bush and republicanism, it appears so, we’ll just be on life support.
    It is good politically that this mess caught up with the country while bush was still in office, else Obama would’ve been pres. and the dems. would’ve been blamed.

  14. Phantom
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 11:01 am | Permalink

    I wonder if they’d used a trillin bucks to buy the bad loans, then renogiated the interest/terms if it wouldn’t have addressed the problem benefitting many at the bottom of the pyramid.

  15. Phantom
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 11:02 am | Permalink

    Guess we could outsource our financial institutions to china and russia, and the mid-east.

  16. Posted September 20, 2008 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

    Back during the S&L debacle certain people tried to blame it on loans to working-class home buyers. However, it quickly became clear that the problem came from high-dollar condo projects and other high-end development games.

    Today is no different.

  17. Phantom
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

    I’d read something like fully a third of the problem loans came from speculators, I think that whole REIT think help fuel the current crisis. I remember when the financial pundits on the bus. channels were castigating financial institutions that weren’t getting onboard with the real estate fad, and their stocks values were being punished. Greed may serve a purpose, but unbridled greed is extremely bad, and the public always ends up paying for it.

  18. Phantom
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 1:02 pm | Permalink

    S&L debacle, like today’s problems came fron institutions branching out into areas where they had little or no experience, both crisis stemmed from deregulation.

  19. Pleefer
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 3:19 pm | Permalink

    Neil Bush made a killing off of the S&L debacle. Much the same goes on these days. But now with more war-profits added! Vote 3rd parties for a fighting chance. Otherwise, you might go ahead and cash that jar of pennies in.

  20. TomPaine
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 10:22 pm | Permalink

    Didn’t Neil Bush get herpes from Thai Prostitutes?