The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:
LIBERAL BLOGGERS ACCUSE OBAMA OF TRYING TO WIN ELECTION; Nominee Called Traitor to Democrats’ Losing Tradition
McCAIN PROPOSES TAX HOLIDAY FOR BEER HEIRESSES; Says Brewery Scions Could Lead Economic Revival
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WE BLOGGERS EXPOSED AS SINGLE ENTITY WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES, NONE OF WHICH EXCEED THIRD GRADE LEVEL WRITING ABILITY.
SAID ENTITY AFTER EXPOSURE, “YA MEEN EYE REELY DOZEN NO WITCH A ‘PUBLICAN BE?”
In a related story, future bloggers will have to mail in a copy of their high school diploma, as well as a note from their mommy, to the WE editors.
OBAMA ACCUSED OF SPEAKING. FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS TO FOLLOW.
BUSH, CHENEY, ROVE (THE REAL AXIS OF TERROR) AGREE TO TESTIFY UNDER OATH SAYING: “WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE”
Bush Claims Executive Privelege Extends to White House Domestic Help.
WE bloggers respectfully discussed the news yesterday
It was reported each person who participated was given the opportunity to see a differing perspective from their own. Everyone agreed they learned something new and appreciated the civility of exchanging ideas and thoughts.
CRAWFORD TEXAS RANCH FORCLOSED ON BY DUBAI BANK
By trying to build a bridge to Nowhere, Mexico to allow immigrants to apply for domestic help, George W. Bush had brought on a lawsuit from his Philipino cooks. Choosing Alberto Gonzalez and Harriet Myers to defend him, The former President lost the lawsuit and was ordered to pay $2 Billion in damages. Counselor Gonzalez was found in contempt for repeating “I don’t recall” 175 times during the proceedings.
The bridge construction was said to be too expensive because of the electronic surveilance required for border security. These setbacks forced the former President to mortgage his Crawford Texas ranch. After Fannie Mae sold his load to a bank in Dubai U.A.R. The load was immediately called in.
MEDIA GIVES INFORMATION ON IMPORTANT ISSUES
The newly-formed McFoxly corporation announced this new entertainment feature, to be added to their new glossy publication, Political Horserace: Telling you how to think. Press release follows:
In our next issue, the main feature will be Wrong the move to the middle?, where we helpfully define what the “middle” is for you on any and all issues, and make sure that you only keep examining issues in simple, unambiguous terms of political “spin,” like a good, independent-minded, well-informed prole.
The new addition, sharing space with the “Page 3 girl,” will be called “Why do you give a damn about this?” and will be aimed at amusing most of us with trivia but also placating those whiny minority infonerds.
We hope you like it! Let us know what you think.
Sincerely,
McFoxly Media Worldwide
Fox Will Do Weekly “What They Said, When They Thought We Weren’t Videotapig!” Bill O’Reilly to be Host.
videotapig=videotaping.
Co-hosted by Jesse Jackson Phantom? We have to be fair.
LIBERALS STOPPED WHINING – End of the world, Part II continues tomorrow.
ANTI GOES PRO!
Gramm asks distressed mortgage foreclosure victims, Want some cheese with that whine?
LLTVet,
“LLTVET
Posted July 11, 2008 at 10:55 am | Permalink
CRAWFORD TEXAS RANCH FORCLOSED ON BY DUBAI BANK”
That’s what Bush wants you to think, but actually the Crawford ranch was simply a down payment on a villa in Dubai’s Extradition Free Zone.
CARL ROVE SPOTTED IN DUFAR WEARING A BURKA. WHEN ASKED WHAT HE WAS DOING THERE, HE QUICKLY ANSWERED, “??? ????? ? Carl Rove, ???? ???? ??? ???? ????????? ???. ?? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ??????? ?? ??;!
REGULIAR TELLS THE TRUTH: HIS REAL NAME IS MIKE, HE”S 14, AND HE LIVES IN HIS DIVORCED MOM’S BASEMENT
With 13 imaginary friends.
As it says in the holy bible: “And when the third stamp was undone, the voice of the third beast came to my ears, saying, Come and see. And I saw a black horse; and he who was seated on it had scales in his hand.” (Revelation, 6, 5)!