Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

spoofsThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:
McCAIN VOWS TO CAMPAIGN IN ALL 13 COLONIES; Kicks Off Contest in Dominion of Virginia
STRAIGHT MAN ACCIDENTALLY SEES ‘SEX AND THE CITY’; ‘Terrifying’ Experience, Says Home Depot Clerk
McCAIN: SUNNIS, SHIITES ‘TRYING TO CONFUSE ME’; Will Stay in Iraq Until He Can Tell Them Apart, Mac Says

7 Comments

  1. outlander
    Posted June 20, 2008 at 7:52 am | Permalink

    INCREASE IN OBESITY RATE TIED TO GLOBAL WARMING

    Scientists today announced a statistical link between the increase in the number of obese people and the observed 1 degree rise in global temperatures observed over the last century.

    Earlier research has also linked global warming to earthquakes, floods, hair loss and cooler temperatures.

  2. Regular
    Posted June 20, 2008 at 8:16 am | Permalink

    OBAMA FINDS VOTER BASE IN MORMON CHURCH – His wife was quoted, “I’m really proud to be an American.” Later than day Obama shunned a group of Amish who wanted to sit behind him while wearing hats.

    BUSH DEFIES CONGRESS AND PASSES EXECUTIVE ORDER TO DRILL OFFSHORE AND IN ALASKA – “The President stated that we cannot let the American people suffer with these high prices – we will begin drillification immediately.”

    GITMO DETAINEES SUFFER WORST TORTURE YET – Illegal combats were insulted in the most heinous way when they return to their cells to find Bibles in their nightstands placed by the Gideons. Inside the Bible was discount coupon for Al Gore’s DVD set on Global Warming.

    OBAMA CHOOSES AL SHARPTON AS RUNNING MATE – Obama stated, “Hey, who’s gonna mess with him. After all, he got Imus fired.”

  3. BlueJay
    Posted June 20, 2008 at 8:23 am | Permalink

    LAST GLOBAL WARMING DENIER CHANGES MIND!

    Drowns before he can be interviewed.

  4. SolDevVB
    Posted June 20, 2008 at 8:37 am | Permalink

    McCAIN CHANGES POLITICAL PHILOSOPHY

    Decides to try being a conservative.

  5. Jed
    Posted June 20, 2008 at 9:31 am | Permalink

    REGULAR OFFENDED NEARLY TO DEATH; Finds old copy of “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” in attic

  6. Phantom
    Posted June 20, 2008 at 10:45 am | Permalink

    McCain says “If you can’t tell which one of them is Shiite or Sunni, how are you gonna tell which one is terrorist unless you torture them?”

  7. gster
    Posted June 20, 2008 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

    PREZ BUSH ANNOUNCES NEW DIASTER POLICY CHANGE!

    “I was doin’ that TM thing, ‘ya know deep in medication when it hit me! We can’t afford these high disaster costs, so I’m going to make them illegal . If you get flooded, it’s gonna’ cost ‘ya a fine ,and a separate charge for water removal. I’m thinkin’ of creatifying a Deparment of Water Police to enforcificate this new policy. Im a thinkin’ I ought to medicate more offenly.”

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  1. By Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines on June 20, 2008 at 6:08 am

    [...] Reality Exploits – Reality TV wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptDubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines Just now The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com: McCAIN VOWS TO CAMPAIGN IN ALL 13 COLONIES; Kicks Off Contest in Dominion of Virginia STRAIGHT MAN ACCIDENTALLY SEES ‘SEX AND THE CITY’; ‘Terrifying’ Experience, Says Home Depot Clerk McCAIN: SUNNIS, SHIITES ‘TRYING TO CONFUSE ME’; Will Stay in Iraq Until He Can Tell Them Apart, Mac Says By Phillip Brownlee | Filed under Spoof headlines | [...]