Not sure of the origin of these imaginary answers making the viral rounds, but some of them are good.
The question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
George W. Bush: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
Barack Obama: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change. The chicken wanted change.
John McCain: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
Hillary Clinton: When I was first lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.
Pat Buchanan: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
Ernest Hemingway: To die in the rain, alone.
Dick Cheney: Where’s my gun?
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39 Comments
The chicken crosssed the road, because the road was the border, and it was open, and so it could.
The chicken did not cross the road, the road crossed the chicken. Funny thing about roads, they are a path that is suppose to lead you where you want to go. But few are all that straight and the trick is to not get carried away with the traffic.
To avoid paying higher “easy come, easy go” sales taxes to Sedgwick County and to City of Wichita.
My guess is sales taxes will hit 10% by the year 2010.
What are Trackbacks, and why do we need them?
Brittany Spears: I, like, hit the chicken with my new Mercedes. Is that, like, okay?
Credenza Tatertots: “Mr. President, step away from that chicken now! Chicken, take off that terrorist outfit before I kintuky fry yer a**!”
Keith Olberman: That chicken, Mr. President, is just one more glowing example of your failed presidency. That chicken . . . the poor, helpless chicken, who has done nothing to harm anybody, is now so confused, she’s standing in the middle of the road, waiting for a truck to snuff out her short, bitter life. And it’s all your fault, Mr. President. Your “decisiveness” has done nothing to . . .
Jon Stewart:
Jon: “Okay, Mr. Chicken, why exactly did you cross the road?”
Chicken: “Cluck . . . cluck!”
Jon: “So . . . your saying you never really crossed the road, did you?”
Chicken: “. . . . . cluck.”
Jon: Jon grabs large Jack Daniels bottle and disappears offstage.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To explain Trackbacks to chas.
Rhonda,
Funny….I think you nailed them.
for Senator Obama: Why did the chicken cross the road?
“Because the chicken was ‘fer’ one side of the road before he was ‘agin’ it.”
Senator Ted Kennedy: Because I was driving drunk and it was the chicken who darted in front of me that cause me later to flee the scene to chase the chicken on the other side of the road and caused me to abandon that young woman to drown in the car I fled from.
President Clinton: It depends on what the meaning of road is and I’m unsure what you meant by the other side, could you rephrase the question?
Barak Hussein Obama Senior: So the chicken could nest with his second wife and have more chickens with his second wife as the current side with the third wife on this side of the road wasn’t as interesting as the other side. Change
george w. bush: the chicken crossed the road because we knew he had weapons of mass distraction over there and he was going to hide them better. The chicken knew we would invade the other side of the road.
Billo: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?!? CHICKEN?!?!?!? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?!?? F*&K IT!!!!! WE’RE DOING IT LIVE….WE’RE DOING IT LIVE…..WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?!?!?
Matthews: 1. What did Chamberlin do to appease the chicken? (1) How did Chamberlin appease the chicken (2) What did he do (3) What did he do (4) …. (10 more times)….What did Chamberlin do to the chicken (14) What did Chamberlin do? (15)
Olberman: Mr Chicken, you shouldn’t cross the road again SIR. Good Night and good luck.
Bush: Folks tell me I caused the chicken to cross the road. That isn’t true. The Chicken.(pause for effect)… crossed the road
Al Gore: It’s an inconvenient truth that Chickens cross the road.
Jesse Jackson: As the chicken community advances itself from the degeneration of our society. Our chicken leaders must step up to the challenges of the new millenium.
Update on your bush entry LLTVET:
“Bush: Folks tell me I caused the chicken to cross the road. That isn’t true. The Chicken.(pause for effect)… crossed the road”
wrinkles forehead, leans into the podium, says, “In other words, the chicken was better off, safer, on the other side of the road. History will show this was the right thing to do!”
Right Linda. I also forgot the page turning emphasis.
George Washington: Mighty fine chicken, cook, mighty fine.
Bush: What chicken? Our intelligence says there is no chicken. Right Dick . . . Dick?
Cheney: The chicken is being listed as destroyed. At 0815 today, I sent a UCAV on road patrol. The chicken was spotted at 0937, and at that time, I ordered a cruise missile launched. The cruise hit its target at 0943, and the rogue chicken was terminated.
lol, this is great stuff
Martin Luther King: that chicken has a dream, to cross the road barrier that seperates the brown chickens from the white chickens, so together we can produce peach colored speckeled eggs, which taste mighty fine.
Keith Olberman: Mr Vice-President, does it not disturb you that the chicken you thought destroyed is indeed not, and your “cruise missile” in fact hit one Ferrdy Chicken, from the town of Musical Cheese, Wyoming. Isn’t it true, Mr Vice-President, you were in fact hunting the chicken yourself ther was no cruise missile involved, and you shot Mr. Chicken in the face with a twelve gauge shotgun?
There is no excuse for your actions, sir, and in my opinion . . .
Jerry Springer:
“People, we have forced the chicken to cross the road, and guess who followed? That’s right: two roosters. And let me tell you, both are extremely ticked off after finding out the chicken was seeing both of them.
“Folks, let me tell you the spurs will be on tonight, and feathers will fly.”
Keith Olberman: The chicken who crossed the road. Today’s WORST……..CHICKEN…….in the WORLD…
Alex Trebek: “Colonel Sanders.”
Chicken: “Cluck . . . cluck.”
Alex: No I’m sorry. The answer must be in the form of a question.”
Chicken: “Cluck,cluck,cluck . . . cluck!”
Alex: “Could someone get the fryer ready?”
PeeWee Herman: “I swear! I ran from that chicken, but he crossed the road, and got my pants down anyway.”
Paris Hilton: “I’m so hot!”
Arnold Schwarzenegger:
“As soon as I get out of this sissy governor job, I will see to it that chicken never crosses a road again. I’ll be back.”
Ryan Seacrest:
“Next up is our last female. Here’s Chicken Little with her selection, “The Sky is Falling”. Give it up for Chicken!”
Buzz Aldrin:
“Ya know, when we got back to earth, I just had to taste one of the moon rocks, and it tasted like chicken.”
Fred Phelps:
“When you have so many chickens living together, they have to be homos. I open the gate, let the chickens out and forced them across the road. Then me and the family spent a quiet day picketing KFC.”
Paris Hilton: “I’m so hot!”
General Schwarzkopf:
“The plan was to surprise the Republican Guard, get them on the run, and destroy them before they could reach the Iraqi border. The problem was, under the cover of darkness, a Banty Rooster led them across the road, and they ducked our surprise party.
” The one good thing is we sure got a bunch of free eggs.”
Looking at the photo above, what a goober!
Obama: What was the question again, Sweetie?
I think Bush is wanting to give Reguliar a ride on his thumb.
The chicken crossed the road, then turned and said “Mission Accomplished”!!!
2 Trackbacks
[...] Delilah Boyd wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptPoliticians ‘answer’ age-old question Just now Not sure of the origin of these imaginary answers making the viral rounds, but some of them are good. The question: Why did the chicken cross the road? George W. Bush: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. Barack Obama: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change. [...]
[...] Fables of the reconstruction wrote an interesting post today on Politicians â??answerâ?? age-old questionHere’s a quick excerptThere is no middle ground here. Barack Obama: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change. The chicken wanted change. [...]