Obama’s surprising ‘facts’

obamatop10.jpgHere are the top 10 “surprising facts” about Barack Obama, as delivered by the Democratic presidential hopeful Thursday on CBS’ “Late Show With David Letterman”:
10. “My first act as president will be to stop the fighting between Lauren and Heidi on ‘The Hills.’”
9. “In the Illinois primary, I accidentally voted for Kucinich.”
8. “When I tell my kids to clean their room, I finish with, ‘I’m Barack Obama and I approved this message.’”
7. “Throughout high school, I was consistently voted “Barackiest.’”
6. “Earlier today I bowled a 39.”
5. “I have canceled all my appearances the day the ‘Sex and the City’ movie opens.”
4. “It’s the birthplace of Fred Astaire. (Sorry, that’s a surprising fact about Omaha.)”
3. “We are tirelessly working to get the endorsement of Kentucky Derby favorite Colonel John.”
2. “This has nothing to do with the Top 10, but what the heck is up with Paula Abdul?”
1. “I have not slept since October.”

9 Comments

  1. Posted May 2, 2008 at 12:51 pm | Permalink

    Fact Number 11. I have gone through 200 boxes of nicotine patches and gum since the start of the primary season.

    all paid for by donations from my campaign funds

  2. jackthehat
    Posted May 2, 2008 at 1:43 pm | Permalink

    Fact No.12

    Barack’s worst nightmare involves a shadowy Rev. Wright standing over him and hoarsely groaning: “Luuke, I am your Faaather”…….

  3. Jed
    Posted May 2, 2008 at 2:10 pm | Permalink

    When will politicians learn to discuss politics and leave comedy to the professionals?

  4. JMWalker
    Posted May 2, 2008 at 3:40 pm | Permalink

    Uh, Jed, he was on David letterman. It’s a comedy show.

  5. Shery_n_Shad
    Posted May 2, 2008 at 3:45 pm | Permalink

    Fact number 12 - I hate it that I have to pretend to accept gays now. This is so lame.

  6. Jed
    Posted May 2, 2008 at 4:16 pm | Permalink

    JM,
    “Uh, Jed, he was on David letterman. It’s a comedy show.”

    Not while he was on it, it wasn’t!

  7. bth
    Posted May 2, 2008 at 4:20 pm | Permalink

    Obama ‘made up his facts’ for a comedy show. George WMD Bush made up HIS ‘facts’ to justify going to war.

    I’ll take the lousy comedian any day.

  8. LLTVET
    Posted May 2, 2008 at 4:39 pm | Permalink

    Fact 13: Bill and I went out drinking. Bill got thrown in jail for using a cigar inappropriately. I had to make a 3AM phone call to Hillary.

  9. Jed
    Posted May 2, 2008 at 11:59 pm | Permalink

    The one I always liked was during the 2000 White House transition, and George looked up from the papers he was reading in the Oval Office and asked Bill where he might find the little boy’s room. Bill showed him where it was and went back to the papers. George was suitably impressed by the facility, “Gee, What class! It’s got this beautiful solid gold urinal!” He couldn’t wait to tell Laura about it, who related the story to Hillary. That night Hillary climbed into bed and rolled over to Bill. “Honey, I know who peed in your saxophone.”