Kellogg built for jokes, not speed

kelloggconstruction.jpgBefore its reconstruction began, people used to consider Kellogg a joke. Since then, the joking has been about how long the project is taking. The most-told joke notes that because scientists say the sun will burn out in several billion years, “that means we’ll have to finish the Kellogg freeway construction in the dark,” as then-City Manager Chris Cherches put it in the ’90s. Similarly, when the downtown flyover opened in 1994, colorful signs went up nearby declaring, “And people said the sun would burn out first!”
Local wit Bucky Walters noted in The Eagle three years ago that “historians have always held that the construction of Kellogg was begun by Coronado in the 16th century. However, with the discovery of a mastodon tusk by present-day Kellogg workers, scientists have confirmed that the planet’s oldest unfinished highway was first started by prehistoric man.”
Anyone have other Kellogg jokes to offer? In any case, as our editorial today argues, the seemingly endless construction project remains essential for the community.

34 Comments

  1. Phantom
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 1:05 pm | Permalink

    No joke, but before they get it completed they’ll have to go back and make repairs to parts done in past decades.

  2. chimelak
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

    As a soon to be newcomer to the great city of Wichita, I can tell you, having commuted Atlanta for several years, Kellog is a blessing. Don’t know for sure how long what has been worked on, but I do know that for a week in March, I was able to commute your fine city from one side to the other and from one end to the other in 20 minutes or less. Right now, at least, I am saying count your blessings for a major East-West passage through the city.

  3. gster
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

    Wichita’s version of the Big Dig perhaps?

  4. bth
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 1:18 pm | Permalink

    Phantom - they already are.

  5. JMWalker
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 1:30 pm | Permalink

    Kellogg . . . it ain’t yer normal yellow bricker!

  6. Regular
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    heh, I remember seeing that photo of the WSU professor out there on the construction site where the Mastadon tusk was found.

    Say Ben, do you think there was any Global Warming since that Mastadon was around? :D

    The ribbon ceremony for the completed Kellogg will no doubt be a mobius strip…

  7. Wiseman
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 1:44 pm | Permalink

    Kellogg, the Charles Darwin highway built by the Intelligent Design Construction Corporation.

  8. bth
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 1:45 pm | Permalink

    My issue with kellogg is the horrible planning - or lack thereof. Constantly waiting until AFTER development to then plow through is a major factor in the cost overruns. They would have been well-advised to let bonds two decades ago and gotten the highway done from the Butler county line to at least 135th west.

  9. Regular
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 1:53 pm | Permalink

    Wasn’t a lot of the delays the cost disagreement on the right-of-way purchases?

    I don’t know how much has been spent, but I’m pretty sure all of that have responded on this thread could have a pretty good retirement from it.

  10. gster
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 1:59 pm | Permalink

    I disagree with the premise- in my experience, Kellogg is definitely built for speed!

  11. gster
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:02 pm | Permalink

    As a matter of fact, I think I saw John Force on Kellogg yesterday.

  12. bth
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

    Correct regular. And that was badly exacerbated by poor planning. It is a lot easier to acquire right-of-way BEFORE everything is developed.

  13. JMWalker
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

    #
    gster
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 1:59 pm | Permalink

    I disagree with the premise- in my experience, Kellogg is definitely built for speed!
    ==================================================
    Meth or auto?

  14. gster
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    JMWalker– I’m taking the 5th on that question. I’ve got enough problems as it is!

  15. Jed
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    JM,
    No, but it used to be a red brick highway. My large patio and several other projects are made from what was once Kellogg.
    My only regret is that I didn’t sink everything I had into Orange Cones back when they were invented- I’d be a multi-gazillionaire by now!

  16. Regular
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:10 pm | Permalink

    Dang Jed,

    Did they have a lot of “road apples” on the red brick Kellogg back in the day? :D

  17. JMWalker
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:10 pm | Permalink

    Three fossilized orange, plastic barrels were dug up yesterday, just south of the intersection of Rock Rd and Kellogg. The barrels were probably placed there around the turn of the century, when construction of the Kellogg first started.

    Said project director, Manny Delays, “They (the barrels) really haven’t changed that much since 1908.”

  18. JMWalker
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    The fossilized barrels will be on display out on West Kellogg, where new delays are planned. It is advised not hitting the fossilized ones, as they will probably leave a pretty hefty dent.

  19. Predestined
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    I can vaguely remember when Eastgate was a few miles from civilization. Okay, not that bad, but I grew up a couple of blocks south of Kellogg and east of Seneca and have some extremely hazy memories of ramps being finished. That may be a figment of my imagination, so just when did they put in the overpasses in the west part of town?

  20. JWink
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:26 pm | Permalink

    Years ago, the alignment of Highway 54/Kellogg going eastward should have turned south a block or two just east of the cemetery located just east of downtown Wichita.

    Then the Highway 54/Kellogg trafficway could have been built relatively unimpeded by through traffic and business traffic. This also would have left the traditional business trafficway in place without buying the comparitively expensive rights of way.

    Flyways and bridges should have been avoided as much as possible and put on grade level because these structures have a finite lifespan of some 50 years or so. Seems like an eternity looking forward but not so long looking back.

    I suspect if this plan had been adopted this whole mess would have been essentially completed 15 years ago.

    But once again the City of Wichita was sold a bill of goods by “music men” who came calling on River City.

  21. bth
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:29 pm | Permalink

    West St was after I came here in 1986.

  22. Predestined
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 2:59 pm | Permalink

    Much of my early sex education was learned underneath the overpass on Seneca in the late 50’s and early 60’s. There was definitely some great artistic talent going on then. ;)

  23. Jed
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 3:02 pm | Permalink

    Reggie,
    “Did they have a lot of “road apples” on the red brick Kellogg back in the day?”

    No, but there was a lot of tar and concrete to clean off! The contractor had bulldozed the bricks into piles along the construction site between Greenwich and Andover Roads and told people to come get them. Quite a few did. My parents and brother cleaned bricks and I piled them in the back of the station wagon and drove loads home and stacked them and came back for more. We were at it for several weeks. They were far better quality bricks than anything you buy today as “paving bricks.”

  24. Jed
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 3:08 pm | Permalink

    Pre,
    “Much of my early sex education was learned underneath the overpass on Seneca in the late 50’s and early 60’s”

    That was the only place sex ed was available then!

  25. Jed
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 3:10 pm | Permalink

    PS. The exams were provided professionally by private contractors on South Broadway.

  26. greddy2rbo
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 3:11 pm | Permalink

    HMMMM…THE PROJECT DIRECTOR’S NAME IS “MANNY DELAYS?”…NO WONDER! LOL!

  27. gster
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

    I thought those orange things were the official State Flower– you see them everywhere! Barrels, huh?

  28. bth
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 3:46 pm | Permalink

    Pre - brings back fond memories of Stone Mountain Georgia …

  29. Jed
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 4:06 pm | Permalink

    gster,
    Actually some of them are escaped prisoners still in their orange jumpsuits and hiding out on the street.

  30. Predestined
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 4:27 pm | Permalink

    Maybe I should mention that I wasn’t having sex at that time. Good grief, I was only 9 or 10! But I got a pretty good idea of how it was done from the pictures drawn on the girders.

    You’re right, Jed, sex wasn’t even taught much at home. I have a very embarrassing story about seeing two coyotes at the Riverside zoo and exlaiming quite loudly to everyone how they were Siamese twins!

  31. mrbill
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 5:53 pm | Permalink

    This is the damnedest thing ‘Ive seen in a while. I used to live in Houston and this group would have been run out of town with such a small piss ant project taking so long. My god they just rebuilt 12 lanes on the Katy West freeway (I-10)through West Houston for 17 miles in less time.

  32. bth
    Posted May 14, 2008 at 6:05 pm | Permalink

    And in Albuquerque (sp?) they just did the big downtown reconstruction. Yes, the Kellogg project is rediculous - but typical.

  33. mmarlett
    Posted May 15, 2008 at 12:20 am | Permalink

    It is the cathedral of our time. As long as we worship at the alter of the god of convenient personal transportation we will continue to build the temple. Don’t want Kellogg construction? Ride a bike.

  34. Jed
    Posted May 15, 2008 at 12:44 pm | Permalink

    mrbill,
    Quite true, quite true! Unfortunately, we had a crackerjack salesman through here a while back that sold the city a 20yr lease on orange cones and they gotta get their money’s worth!

2 Trackbacks

  1. By planet jokes on May 16, 2008 at 10:51 am

    [...] highway was first started by prehistoric man.??? Anyone have other Kellogg jokes to offer? …http://blogs.kansas.com/weblog/2008/05/kellogg-built-for-jokes-not-speed/Excerpt from ‘The Dangerous Days of Daniel X’ USA TodayThe Dangerous Days of Daniel [...]

  2. By Pages tagged "mastodon" on May 22, 2008 at 9:49 am

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