Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

spoofsThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:
BILL CLINTON SWITCHES TO OBAMA; Latest Superdelegate Defection for Hillary
OBAMA PROPOSES GASBAG HOLIDAY; Prominent Gasbags Oppose Plan
OBAMA DE-FRIENDS WRIGHT ON FACEBOOK; Signals Complete Break With Former Pastor
DEMOCRATIC RACE ‘TOO MEAN,’ SAY SWIFT-BOAT VETERANS; Giving Swift-boating a Bad Name, Group Fears

10 Comments

  1. Regular
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 7:42 am | Permalink

    OBAMA ADMITS TO STRONG MUSLIM TIES – Osama Bin Laden’s name was found on list of contributors to the Obama campaign in an FBI investigation.

    MCCAIN ASKS SENATOR JOHN KERRY TO CONSIDER RUNNING AS VICE PRESIDENT ON HIS TICKET – “Just returning the favor,” quoted McCain, “In Washington, it’s all about back scratching.”

    MAJOR COAL PRODUCING STATES SHUT DOWN OPERATIONS -IPCC Chairman agreed with the decision as he spoke from his candle lit room.

  2. Regular
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 7:46 am | Permalink

    FORMER MAYOR BOB KNIGHT ANNOUNCES NEW CHURCH CASINO – Knight stated that the tax exempt casino has many advantages, including those of absolution and confessional booths.

    AQUIFER AT LOWER LEVEL THAN FIRST THOUGHT – Hydrologists found a secret tunnel leading from the western edge of the aquifer in Kansas to the Coors beer factory in Colorado as the primary reason for the level drop.

  3. Regular
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 7:53 am | Permalink

    CROWSON HIRES ON TO OBAMA CAMPAIGN AS FUTURE WHITE HOUSE PRESS MANAGER – When asked about the new position, Crowson stated “There’s going to be a little dog at the bottom corner of the podium when White House Press statements are released.”

    WYOMING MAN MISTAKENLY GETS 600,000 DOLLAR STIMULUS CHECK FROM GOVERNMENT – Asked if he had cashed the check, the Casper Wyoming resident stated, “Yes, I need to fill up my SUV, it was setting on half.”

  4. Regular
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 8:08 am | Permalink

    SENATOR CLINTON ANNOUNCES NEW CAMPAIGN SONG AFTER REPORTING 20 MILLION DEBT IN CAMPAIGN SONG –
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=aNaKWXqXkhw

  5. Regular
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 8:09 am | Permalink

    er 20 MILLION DEBT IN CAMPAIGN FUND…

  6. writerdog
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 8:26 am | Permalink

    REV. WRIGHT POINTS TO THE POSSIBILITY THAT BARACK REALLY IS THE MESSIAH.
    “Both are black, raised by a father figure that was not the biological father and followed by the masses”

  7. writerdog
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 8:30 am | Permalink

    MC CAIN’S TRUE AGE REVEALED AFTER A SLIP DURING SPEECH.
    It was determine that Sen. John Mc Cain is actually older than stated, when he made the comment.
    “Yeah those Hittites were the worst enemy I ever faced!”.

  8. writerdog
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 8:34 am | Permalink

    HILLARY CONFESSES, “THE ONLY HARD WORKING WHITE MAN I KNOW IS..”
    After a hard day of campaigning, Sen. Hillary Clinton confide the only hard working white man she knows personally is the guy that pumps her gas and brings her coffee.

  9. writerdog
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 8:50 am | Permalink

    REV. HAGREE PROCLAIMS THAT EARTH QUAKE WAS GOD’S PUNISHMENT.
    Rev. Hagree announced today that the earth quake in China was God’s punishment for the military junta in Burma not allowing aid to reach those devastated by the cyclone and being so stupid as to follow the lead of President Bush during Katrina as to how to provide aid to those devastated by a natural disaster.

  10. writerdog
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 9:56 am | Permalink

    PAUL WOLFOWITZ CONFESSES, “IRAQ WAS A SIMPLE MISTAKE!”
    Former deputy Defense sectary Paul Wolfowitz finally admitted that the invasion of Iraq was a simple mistake. “We were meaning to invade Iran and Rumsfield got the address wrong!”.

One Trackback

  1. By Obama » Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines on May 13, 2008 at 8:09 am

    [...] WE Blog | The Wichita Eagle Editorial Department Blog wrote an interesting post today on Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlinesHere’s a quick excerptDubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines 6 minutes ago The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com: BILL CLINTON SWITCHES TO OBAMA; Latest Superdelegate Defection for Hillary OBAMA PROPOSES GASBAG HOLIDAY; Prominent Gasbags Oppose Plan OBAMA DE-FRIENDS WRIGHT ON FACEBOOK; Signals Complete Break With Former Pastor DEMOCRATIC RACE ‘TOO MEAN,’ SAY SWIFT-BOAT VETERANS; Giving Swift-boating a Bad Name, Group Fears By Phillip Brownlee | Filed under Spoof headlines | [...]