Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

spoofsThe following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:
GIBSON TROUNCES STEPHANOPOULOS In CRUCIAL DEBATE; Asks Twice as Many ‘Gotcha’ Questions as TV Rival
POLL: MAJORITY OF AMERICANS BITTER, CLINGY; Numbers Could Help Obama
CHINA MOVES OLYMPICS TO UNDISCLOSED LOCATION; New Strategy to Outwit Protesters

11 Comments

  1. Jack
    Posted April 21, 2008 at 8:40 am | Permalink

    Hillary Clinton elected President.

  2. gster
    Posted April 21, 2008 at 11:10 am | Permalink

    PREZ ANNOUNCES POST PRESIDENTIAL AGENDA.

    “I’m Please to announce the creation of the GEORGE W. BUSH WALMART GREETER ACADEMY! I’m going to utensilize the many skills I’ve hummed during my time here in Washingtoon. Everyone know how persuadidencial I can be, and how many fiends I have made here”, the Prez added.

  3. MaxGrobnik
    Posted April 21, 2008 at 11:20 am | Permalink

    Instead of the National Anthem, Elton John sings “The Btich is Back” as Hillary Clinton is inaugurated.

    The Stars and Stripes are taken down, and a Pinkish Rainbow flag with a Smiley Face goes up in its place.

  4. null
    Posted April 21, 2008 at 1:03 pm | Permalink

    Just curious: I switched to this page, and I see the system has me logged in as ‘null’–maybe I was logged in from earlier, and the system reverted to a null variable?

    So will it let me post? And will it show up under the name ‘null’?

    Oh, Nick J., are you paying attention?

  5. null
    Posted April 21, 2008 at 1:05 pm | Permalink

    Oh, well, I’m going to log out and log back in.

    Thanks,
    “null” ;)

  6. Rage
    Posted April 21, 2008 at 2:12 pm | Permalink

    MAX GROBNIK SUPPORTS UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE
    Says he realized that, like highways, everyone benefits from it

  7. outlander
    Posted April 21, 2008 at 7:11 pm | Permalink

    RESEARCHERS DISCOVER NEW ETHANOL SOURCE

    Within hours of news of a new process to convert peanut butter to ethanol, prices spiked causing supply shortages in school cafeterias. The breakthrough process converts 50 gallon barrels of peanut butter into 5 gallons of ethanol.

  8. outlander
    Posted April 21, 2008 at 8:47 pm | Permalink

    OBAMA CLAIMS FUTURE EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE

    Barack Obama Monday stated that all future consultation and meetings with liberal constituency groups are to be “classified” and sited “future executive privilege” as justification.

    The move was seen as a response to the very negative reaction to a speech Obama made before a group of San Francisco liberals. In that speech he called working class folks’ religion and support of gun rights and immigration laws a result of bitterness and disappointment.

  9. MaxGrobnik
    Posted April 22, 2008 at 10:54 am | Permalink

    Clinton and Obama both drop Nationalized Healthcare plans.

    Max points out that ALL users of the Highway System pay the same gas tax, thus all users of National Healthcare should pay the same premium.

    Clinton and Obama finally recognize that all healthcare plan participants need to pay the same premium into the national healthcare plan, or it would be truly a Socialist Plan, and of course they both prefer to be labeled as Progressive.

  10. MaxGrobnik
    Posted April 22, 2008 at 10:58 am | Permalink

    President Obama is inaugurated swearing on a Koran. And Obama declares the following to be the new American National Anthem:

    Upwards on the horizon rises the Eastern Sun,
    The sight of the true Religion.
    Bahman – the brilliance of our Faith.
    Your message, O Imam, of independence and freedom
    is imprinted on our souls.
    O Martyrs! The time of your cries of pain rings in our ears.

    Obama also declares the Stars & Stripes will be replaced with a new flag design as follows:

    Flag Description:
    three equal horizontal bands of green (top), white, and red; the national emblem (a stylized representation of the word Allah in the shape of a tulip, a symbol of martyrdom) in red is centered in the white band; ALLAH AKBAR (God is Great) in white Arabic script is repeated 11 times along the bottom edge of the green band and 11 times along the top edge of the red band

    Enduring, continuing, eternal,
    The Islamic Republic of Iran.

  11. Boxlock
    Posted April 24, 2008 at 10:36 am | Permalink

    Test

    ;) ;-)

3 Trackbacks

  1. By China » Blog Archive » Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines on April 21, 2008 at 8:08 am

    [...] WE Blog | The Wichita Eagle Editorial Department Blog wrote an interesting post today on Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlinesHere’s a quick excerptDubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines PostedJust now The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com: GIBSON TROUNCES STEPHANOPOULOS In CRUCIAL DEBATE; Asks Twice as Many ‘Gotcha’ Questions as TV Rival POLL: MAJORITY OF AMERICANS BITTER, CLINGY; Numbers Could Help Obama CHINA MOVES OLYMPICS TO UNDISCLOSED LOCATION; New Strategy to Outwit Protesters By Phillip Brownlee | Filed under Spoof headlines | [...]

  2. By China » Blog Archive » Comment on Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines by China … on April 21, 2008 at 10:33 am

    [...] China » Blog Archive » Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines wrote an interesting post today on Comment on Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines by China …Here’s a quick excerpt… Asks Twice as Many ‘Gotcha’ Questions as TV Rival POLL: MAJORITY OF AMERICANS BITTER, CLINGY; Numbers Could Help Obama CHINA MOVES OLYMPICS TO UNDISCLOSED LOCATION; New Strategy to Outwit Protesters By Phillip Brownlee | Filed under … [...]

  3. By 330516beef94 on May 12, 2008 at 6:02 pm

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