Cheney as stand-up

cheneyVice President Dick Cheney emerged from his undisclosed location into the spotlight Wednesday, donning his now-famous sunglasses and fishing hat to fill in for President Bush at the annual Radio and Television Correspondents Dinner in Washington, D.C. Some of the laugh lines:

“You’d be amazed at how many guys want to go fishing with me these days.”

“Obviously, you’re not the kind to look down on a bitter man who clings to his guns.”

“I have no doubt, none at all, that we are in the midst of global warming, or as I prefer to call it, spring.”

“Every time I’m rushed to the hospital, I insist on a hybrid ambulance.”

“At breakfast today, I asked Lynne if deep down it bugs her that people have taken to calling me Darth Vader. She said, ‘Not at all. It humanizes you.’”

Hillary Clinton “confused the Bosnia trip with the time I took her hunting.”

17 Comments

  1. KansasNative
    Posted April 19, 2008 at 6:39 am | Permalink

    WORST VICE-PRESIDENT EVER!!!

  2. Kelly
    Posted April 19, 2008 at 7:12 am | Permalink

    Its easy for a lame-duck to be critical. He isn’t serving as a McCain campaign advisor, I suspect. I wonder why?

  3. Boxlock
    Posted April 19, 2008 at 7:26 am | Permalink

    Funny, cute and innocent one liners by the V.P. Shows he has a good since of humor about himself, unlike about half the cynical, constantly complaining, and do nothing of value folks that criticize him.

  4. beber
    Posted April 19, 2008 at 7:32 am | Permalink

    Values such as killing several hundred birds while hunting with a justice of the supreme court who is ruling on whether you can keep energy policy meetings secret?

  5. KansasNative
    Posted April 19, 2008 at 7:49 am | Permalink

    Boxlock, do you even begin to think Cheney WROTE those jokes?

    Cheney has been picking your pocket for the last eight years and you are still playing the fool.

    Grow up and wise up.

  6. Newt
    Posted April 19, 2008 at 7:52 am | Permalink

    The joke is actually on us.

  7. BlueJay
    Posted April 19, 2008 at 7:54 am | Permalink

    It is impossible for this…person… to be amusing.

    Well, through his own efforts anyway.

    We don’t laugh with ya Dick.

    We laugh at you.

  8. Posted April 19, 2008 at 10:06 am | Permalink

    Maybe he and George can dust off their routine where they pretend to look behind White House furniture and say “No Weapons of Mass Destruction here!” while American boys are dying in Iraq.

    Now that’s some funny stuff, I tell you what.

    :roll:

  9. Regular
    Posted April 19, 2008 at 10:48 am | Permalink

    Hillary Clinton “confused the Bosnia trip with the time I took her hunting.”

    My favorite. :D

  10. Boxlock
    Posted April 20, 2008 at 8:30 am | Permalink

    KansasNative Posted April 19, 2008 at 7:49 am |
    “Boxlock, do you even begin to think Cheney WROTE those jokes?”

    ‘KansasNAIVE’, why don’t you “Grow up and wise up”, I NEVER said he wrote those jokes! He said them, about himself, showing a good since of humor. I laughed at them…like I do at your stupidity.

  11. KansasNative
    Posted April 20, 2008 at 8:44 am | Permalink

    Boxlick wrote:

    “Funny, cute and innocent one liners BY the V.P.”

    Perhaps if your vocabulary was larger you would have written “delivered by”.

    Thank you for clearing up your inept use of the English language.

  12. KansasNative
    Posted April 20, 2008 at 8:45 am | Permalink

    Hey Lick, I tutor English as a second language for kids. Want to join the group?

  13. Boxlock
    Posted April 20, 2008 at 12:53 pm | Permalink

    KansasNAIVE,
    God help the children, not wonder they are failing so badly.
    Since when does the use of the word ‘by’ only mean, or can only be interpreted as, ‘written’? The word can just as easily be used for ‘delivered by’ as well as ‘written by’.
    Yours is an ignorant, petty complaint, with a totally different agenda, but which by your making only reveals your shallowness.
    In addition, you are working on your own assumption, though one I would agree with, that he most likely did not write his jokes, no where in Rhonda’s blog post does it say whether Cheney did or didn’t write those jokes. What difference does that make except to a small, petty mind? Does it detract from the humor or make anyone think less of any of the night show hosts because they didn’t write their own jokes? Who knows maybe he contracted to have them written which entitles him to them. But I’m arguing with a fool to even continue with this.
    The jokes were said ‘BY’ him, that’s all that counts as far as the value of the humor and sense of humor about himself….shows a stronger more mature person than yourself KansasNAIVE.

  14. KansasNative
    Posted April 20, 2008 at 1:02 pm | Permalink

    You win, Lick. You’re ignorance is only overshadowed by your fear, anger, and hatred. Have a great weekend!

  15. Boxlock
    Posted April 20, 2008 at 1:35 pm | Permalink

    Thanks KansasNaive, I’m having a very good weekend.
    You too….and I mean it. ;)
    PS: Use the correct nic when addressing me and I will you also, but whatever you like.

  16. KansasNative
    Posted April 20, 2008 at 1:43 pm | Permalink

    Deal.

  17. Boxlock
    Posted April 20, 2008 at 1:59 pm | Permalink

    Deal!
    There…maybe we can simply ‘discuss’ in the future, and not ‘cuss’. So to speak.
    Have to go mow the lawn now. Sporting Clays yesterday, oiled the furnace blowers last night, changed filters, and adjusted thermostats, put sealer on the deck this afternoon, and now the mower…busy weekend. No time or desire to blog argue. :lol:

One Trackback

  1. By Global Warming » Cheney as stand-up on April 19, 2008 at 8:14 am

    [...] Il Professor â?¬chos wrote an interesting post today on Cheney as stand-upHere’s a quick excerpt“I have no doubt, none at all, that we are in the midst of global warming, or as I prefer to call it, spring. [...]