The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:
IN SPEECH ON RELIGION, OBAMA EXPLAINS HIS FAITH In OPRAH; Calls Belief in Talk Show Hostess a “Personal Matter’
KIM JONG IL KICKS IRAN OUT OF AXIS OF EVIL; Nukeless Nation ‘Not Evil Enough,’ Says Korean Madman
HUCKABEE CHOOSES JESUS AS RUNNING MATE; Move to Shore Up Evangelical Base
LOU DOBBS’ HEAD EXPLODES; CNN Anchor Continues Talking
Posted by Phillip Brownlee
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Bill, Hilary Plan Simultaneous Sex-Change Surgery. Say it should solve both their problems.
Yeah, they’re funny…but that thing about Dobbs’ head…that’s really true. Right?
VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY ANNOUNCES HE IS A COMMUNIST PLANT.
But people quit paying any attention to his rants so no one hear him.
HILLARY CLAIMS TO BE SECOND COMING OF BILL.“Now the democrats in Kansas will vote for me”, she’s is heard saying.
IRAQ PRESSURES U.N TO FORCE THE UNITED STATES TO STAY TEN MORE YEARS!oh wait a minute that one is true…..
EAGLE EDITORS TRY OUT FOR AMERICAN IDOL. TOLD BY SIMON THEY SOUND LIKE THREE CATS FIGHTING OVER A DEAD TUNA.
EAGLE CARTOONIST DRAWS SIMON AS PEE WEE HERMAN IN REVENGE.
Scientists Discover Living Plastic!
Researchers today cited findings that a scraping of shavings from Presidential candidate Willard Romney demonstrated lifelike characteristics when exposed to stimulus.
PREVIEW OF NEXT NIE REPORT INDICATES IRAN REALLY IS DEVELOPING NUKES!
“We couldn’t believe that everyone bought our last report, since Iran is still enriching uranium”; he said, explaining their second 180 in as many weeks.
“We like to keep things stirred up”. It’s really boring down in the basement”.
BUSH SUPPORTERS RALLY!
Believers in bush (Bib) announced today that they plan to hold a public event to show support for their beknighted hero.
The rally will be held in an old style phone booth at a rest stop near the old barn on Lost road. Organizer imagines a capacity crowd.
I just love how the so-called “conservatives” forget that the title of this thread is “Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines.” It makes their posts soooo hilariously ironic!
Local Churches Announce “Peace on Earth! Godwill to Men!”
US Led Bombing Continues in Iraq.
Pray for Peace. Vote for War.
Young Republicans Sign Up for Iraq Duty in Record Numbers
“Just because we graduated from exclusive private schools doesn’t mean we can’t serve in our nation’s wars,” says Thurston Howell the IVth.
HILLARY WINS PRIMARIES!Obamas says “Yo mama!” Hillary replies “No Drama!” Richardson cries out “Hillary my Dali Lama!”
In a Will Smith “I Am Legend” moment, all Republicans drop over dead.
Strangely, they don’t stink as much dead as they did when they were alive.
EAGLE CARTOONIST FINALLY MAKES FUN OF MAJOR DEMOCRAT; scandal to big to ignore.
Be interesting to see how long that post lasts, Dingbat!
Don’t call me Dingbat!
Mom says for both of you to get home!
Resort Casino opens near Mulvane, Trump announces plan to build the first 1,000 ft condo building and silo in Mulvane — it wipes Mulvane off the map — trump now has his own vertical city