Comments on: Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

By: J M Walker

J M Walker — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 15:45:09 +0000

IRAQ WAR DECLARED OVER (again)!

ON FRIDAY NIGHT, REDNECKS FROM KANSAS, MISSOURI AND ARKANSAS PULLED OFF A SURPRISE RAID IN THE MOUNTAINS OF PAKISTAN, KILLING OSAMA, OBAMA, YOMAMA AND FRED, FROM BOISE, IDAHO.

SAID THE HEAD REDNECK, “TRAILERBOY”, “WE BEEN AFTER THEM-THERE FRED EVER SINCE HE STOLE MA MOONSHINE RECIPE. WE DONE GOT EM NOW! WEESE KIN GO BACK TA HOME AN WORK ON THAT TRUCK I BEN MEENEN TA WORK ON SINCE ‘79.”

By: Kansas

Kansas — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 14:05:48 +0000

SEBELIUS GETS A ‘SNOOT FULL’ WHEN KANSAS LEGISLATURE PASSES BILL REQUIRING KANSAS WINE BE SERVED AT STATE AND POLITICAL FUNCTIONS – The Governor compared the action as “vinegar on a sponge” then popped a certs to compensate for the sour grapes.

By: Kansas

Kansas — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 14:03:28 +0000

CLINTON CLAIMS “VICTORY IS HERS” IN LAST DEBATE – Clinton said no doubt her cleavage advantage won the day, although Bill Richardson was running a close second in the same category.

MILLIONAIRE BANKER PROVES SCHIPS SYSTEM IS FLAWED BY QUALIFYING FOR KANSAS HEALTHWAVE BENEFITS – Millionaire Banker who works and lives in Kansas City stated he fooled the system by only reporting his “discretionary” income on the forms provided. The unnamed Banker stated that the form does not require him to document his own company’s income, which includes stocks and bonds benefits because those are corporate assets not his personal assets. The Kansas Health Wave Chairman would not comment on the Banker’s approved SCHIPs application.

By: Kansas

Kansas — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 13:57:21 +0000

“HANK” OF WE BLOG ARRESTED BY WICHITA POLICE – Rumors sent Wichita Police Detectives to the home of a blogger whose nickname is “Hank.” The complaint filed said that “Hank” was ’scraping Fred off his bumper’ which caused suspicious neighbors to report a possible political carnage incident. Detective Barnes of the Wichita Investigative Unit says there was no findings and ended the interview with a “Doomp Doomp” sound.

By: Kansas

Kansas — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 13:51:57 +0000

NEW PUBLISHER CAUGHT AT WESTERN UNION WIRING AN EMERGENCY MESSAGE TO GET HER OLD JOB BACK – Females employees at the Wichita Eagle expedited the action during a “Krispy Kreme” caloric over dose section. Crowson was heard to say, “Is my butt too big?”

INTERN KRISTIN MEHLER ADDS “CHAOTIC WORK ENVIRONMENTS” TO HER POST GRADUATE WORK CURRICULUM – Mehler added, “I had no idea that Journalism involved “hand stands” and “Olympic Eraser Tossing.” Brownlee and Scholfield could be heard snickering around the corner.

By: Kansas

Kansas — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 13:45:09 +0000

BROWNLEE TIRES OF WE BLOG WHINERS, HIRES VIRTUAL PIT BULLS TO TAKE OUT THE RIF RAF.

RHONDA HOLMAN SINGS, “I FEEL PRETTY.” At her editorial desk, Rhonda Holman, Editorial Writer for the Wichita Eagle, sang the entire song, “I feel pretty.” It was reporter that a poster of Presidential candidate, Senator Edwards was found in her desk, sporting a hand drawn mustache, glasses and a set of horns.