On the recent public ear-piercing flap at a local Wal-Mart: Is it legal for a 4-year-old to get her ears pierced? Yes, as long as she gets parental consent.
Is it advisable for parents to give such consent? No.
There are no hard and fast rules here, but it seems appropriate to wait until a child has more maturity, fashion knowledge and perhaps thicker skin.
If there is any chance your child might create a public scene, do us all a favor: wait.
The larger problem may be excessive parental concern with what a 4-year-old “wants.” News flash: Children that age don’t know what they want. Most of the time, a parent’s job is to just say no.
As a general rule, it’s prudent to wait until they’re older and have a better idea of what’s involved in ear piercing, tattooing and other ways adults suffer for style.
And advice to bystanders: Hold those calls to 911. The police have better things to do and real abuse to investigate.
Posted by Randy Scholfield
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42 Comments
They have real abuse to investigate?? Better things to do?? And what would those things be?? Because it seems to me that the police here in Wichita have AMPLE time on their hands to harrass people for the smallest things….like the cops who decided to call in half their force, because my 6 year old wandered into the front yard in her swimsuit to turn off the faucet for the hose. After locking her in the squad car, dragging me out of my house and searching it, forcing me to undress my 18month old, and calling their supervisor down to hy home, they did NOTHING. Even the supervisor yelled at them for overreacting. I applaud the woman who called. I think it should be illegal for parents to punch holes in their kids ears until the kid is at LEAST 13-14. I think it’s even more reprehensible that a parent would hold down a child who’s stated that she doens’t want it done.
I find it ironic that the furor over this story coincided with Wichita getting national attention because people ignored and stepped over an ADULT who was in need of help. People wonder why?? Because we are told to “mind our own business and butt out.”
There is nothing wrong with piercing your child’s ears. Anyone who thinks this is abuse needs their brains checked.
It doesn’t hurt that bad, a flipping shot hurts more.
I don’t see a thing wrong with having a child’s ears lanced. If, when the child is older, she decides she does not wish to have lanced ears, it is completely reversible. I have a much bigger problem with doctors that take it upon themselves to circumsize baby boys. That should be illegal and the boy should have a full legal right to someday sue the doctor and his parents for cutting off part of his body.
I agree with Elizabeth N. that the police do not have better things to do.
I would also like to know more about her story. Why did the cop stop? Did a neighbor call them? What did they tell you they were investigating?
I had friends about 25yrs ago who had a baby daughter who came home from the hospital with tiny diamond stud earrings. The piercing was a service offered to newborns by the hospital. She’s now a dancer in The American Ballet Theater, so apparently no harm was done.
Just wondering. What about nose rings? Can good old momma give that permission if she thinks that’s cute? How about tongue or an eye brow piercings to match Mom’s? Is it legal to put holes in your kid wherever you think it looks cute?
I am sympathetic towards that woman who made the call reporting what they were doing to that child. And the police hauling her off and Walmart banning the lady from the store is absurd.
There is a big difference between having your ears pierced and circumcision, one is purely cosmetic and the other has health benefits. Beside that is a old wives tale that Doctors take it upon themselves to circumcise, a parent still has to sign a waver to have it done. No Doctor would risk the legal risk of doing such a procedure without parental consent.
Both should require a parent’s permission and both should be given with an informed consent. But it was the mother’s responsibility to be prudent which she was not! Ear piercing is not a injection or a surgical procedure that is to the benefit of the child and there for a reasonable thing to force a child to endure.The four years old was not going to die or suffer a illness if their ears are not pierced. In fact the four Y.O. would not know the difference till she was older if her ears are pierced or not.It is hardly worth the fuss of fighting to hold the child down and causing such a scene.
As to the actions of the manager having the customer issued a trespassing warrant, it is a bit ironic that the largest retailer in the world would have it as a policy. That those who steal for them should not be accused of it because it might offend them! That there has been one incident where a man was riding around in a power wheel chair waving a gun and threatening both customers and employees. AND the manager did not even have the man banned or issued a trespassing warrant! Yet a concerned person is banned from the store for taking the time to do what they saw was right. Whether the child was endanger is beside the issue, the customer did the right thing in reporting it.
In this case she followed the proscribe advise that the authorities tell citizens to do in the case of suspected criminal activity. Call the Police and let the authority decide if a crime has been committed. Yet in this she was punished, would it be any wonder if she next week see a child being beaten with an object and turns a blind eye? Yes in some cases child abuse is in the eye of the beholder, what you think is extreme maybe another’s right to parent. And as the customer found out, what you may think is unlawful may not be against the law. Just because it is loud and seems a wrong action does not make it illegal.
“There is a big difference between having your ears pierced and circumcision, one is purely cosmetic and the other has health benefits. Beside that is a old wives tale that Doctors take it upon themselves to circumcise, a parent still has to sign a waver to have it done. No Doctor would risk the legal risk of doing such a procedure without parental consent. ”
So then if I give the doctor permission to cut off my kid’s index fingers, is this OK? What about if my religion advocates female genital mutilation or blood sacrifices? If a male wishes to be circumsized, that is a decision he should make himself when he is 18.
We had a case here awhile back where a 14 year old got a tattoo without parental consent and the court made the tattoo “artist” pay for removing it.
There were two sides to this story, and the Eagle should have checked both out before writing the first article, where it was pretty clear that the woman who reported the abuse was exaggerating the circumstances. Lots of people got all riled up and then the second article with the mother’s version of the whole story came out, and it became clear as to why this woman reporting the abuse was escorted from Walmart. Just another example of how media irresponsibity provokes misguided public outrage.
As far as doing this to a child, I don’t think it’s good to inflict pain unneccessarily on a child that is incapable of giving consent. Kids have to endure enough “neccesary” pain, with vacinations and other medical and dental procedures. Kids need less trama in their lives, not more.
Hey, why you’re at it, put a couple studs in the kid’s nose and tongue, and a few rings in her eyebrows. That’s way cool!
This Mom doesn’t appear to be responsible enough to make the hard decisions that involve saying, “No.” Would she have stopped the procedure if the woman who reported this as child abuse hadn’t called in police, or would she have gotten more help to hold the child down to finish the procedure?
When there are two conflicting sides to a story how do we judge which is more accurate? Do we have all the facts? Did we get a portion of both sides of the story? We got what the newspaper decided to print.
“When there are two conflicting sides to a story how do we judge which is more accurate? Do we have all the facts? Did we get a portion of both sides of the story?”
It was a different world when the media was NOT lap dog like in its devotion to the status quo. You know, back when we trusted the MSM and counted on them to provide both sides of the story, in proportion to what really happened?
Is it any wonder so many people turn to the internet for “the rest of the story”?
Iraq war anyone?
They all serve the same corporate masters. Congress, the preznit, the DLC, the churches and the media. All sucking on the corporate teat to get that mothers’ milk of corporate cash.
Meet the new bosses same as the old bosses…
…and the sheeple follow.
Call the cops. Have me arrested for child abuse.
I have 4 daughters. The oldest’s ears were pierced when she was 2. The next oldest’s when she was 3 months. The two youngest were pierced before they were 2 years old.
The piercings will grow shut if they don’t want them. 3 of them have had multiple piercings (ears), after turning 18, so I have a feeling they don’t mind it a bit that I had those first piercings done.
If I want to TATTOO my infant, I can. And, no, I wouldn’t, but some people do it for identification purposes.
The woman who called the police got what she deserved. MYOB, people, and get a life. Do something about REAL abuse.
I read about this story and it made my blood boil.
Who did that woman think she is, calling the cops and making a scene like that?
It is perfectly legal for a parent to have their childrens’ ears pierced. An ear piercing never killed anyone.
My sister had hers done at 6 months. I had mine done at 4 years–two technicians pierced them at the same time and I let out a blood curdling scream. And then my parents bought me ice cream. In my opinion, my sister was better off because she was too young to remember it (but hey, I got the ice cream). In Indian families, most little girls are pierced so maybe it’s a cultural thing.
Guess what, my sister and I are both fine. This is not like cutting off a finger, or genital mutilation, or anything remotely related to child abuse because it doesn’t cause lasting harm and it’s not done out of malice.
That poor mother has been dragged into the spotlight because someone can’t mind their own damn business.
Ear bobs and tattoos eh Roxann? You going to put the family brand on their hindquarters as well?
There are not that many cultures in the U.S. that require ear piercings that I’m aware.
Seems to me, it’s more of a hedonistic move towards indoctrinating children into a contrived culture that they must adhere to without their consent.
I imagine a lot of these mothers threaten their children with the “I could have had you aborted” argument as well. Oh and don’t lie about this one mom’s I’ve actually heard this from children that their mom’s said this to them.
If that mother had been pinching her child’s ear and dragging her around the parking lot, it would have been child abuse. But holding down a kid for ear piercing as the child repeatedly says “this hurts, don’t do it” isn’t?
So if the child had originally wanted the piercing and changed her mind, I think the prudent parent would have said “fine, no piercings at all, you can’t change your mind again” and taken the child from the store. That seems much better than “you wanted it, so now you’re gonna get it” and the child screaming sufficiently to arouse suspicion of child abuse.
WalMart was completely out of line in banning the lady. Yet another reason to shop at another retailer…
Lil ol Me
Our daughter was allowed to get her ears pierced once she decided to use her own allowance money to pay for the piercing, the earrings, the alcohol & swabs to keep the fresh holes clean, etc. I think she was 12 or 13 when paying for a piercing was more important than buying the latest “Beanie Baby.”
Kids cry when they get haircuts or are forced eat veggies so what. Is every time a child cries abuse? Its people like the nosy woman who make people afraid to discipline their snotty kids because they don’t want to explain to the police for a hour why they smacked lil’ timmy. As for Walmart banning the woman she was probably making a scene and being obnoxious
What about circumcisions?
Since when did ear piercing become equivalent to tatooing, branding, and abortion??? Is the troll really such an idiot as to see these as the same issue?
Wait, nevermind. That question answers itself.
The only reason this is even being debated is because ear piercing is socially acceptable in our culture. It’s the height of hypocrisy to suggest that it is “ok” while claiming that other forms of piercing or tattooing are not. If piercing is abuse for someone under a certain age, it would seem that ALL piercing would be subject to that rationale.
Parental judgement should rule the day, it would seem, not asinine parental statements like “this was absolutely not my choice”–transferring the responsibility of the choice to the child, as if a 4-year old can make sound judgements for almost anything. But the idea that forcing a child to have a painful body decoration is somehow “normal” is entirely a cultural bias.
What would you all say if Wal-Mart had a tattoo parlor, and the 4-year-old was being forced into getting a tattoo or a tongue piercing?
I have no problem with ear piercing but with piercing of the tongue and even a worst body mutilation such as splitting the tongue is dumbest thing to do.The tongue is a muscle, once the core of the muscle is damage it does not heal correctly, it leaves a harden scar that can become bothersome from time to time and effect the articulation of speech.I know this by experience; I have bitten completely thru my tongue at the age of 10.No thanks to my dad, (yes, unintentionally we learn bad habits from our parents) I have learned from him how to stick out my tongue like he has done whenever he got intensely involved in working on something.
It could be in the future that science actual finds that accu-pressure is real because of the bio-electrical currents in our bodies.
Then, all the ear-piercers will be gnashing their teeth as they have permanently damaged the nerve endings in their ears and cannot receive proper care. :D
Or, they could find that cracker jax is actually a health food. :D
Let’s let kids get tattoos too.
Proud Man-they told me that they were investigating suspected neglect, because obviously i was neglectful for letting a 6 year go into the front yard and turn off the hose. They told me the neighborhood was too dangerous to let her go out front unsupervised(I live 2 blocks east of Lincoln and Woodlawn),and what if someone tried to kidnap her. No, actually, nobody called the police, they just happened to drive by and see her. They DID talk to our neighbors, and they all told the police that she was always fine, never went in the street, if she went to a friends house i walked her there and back,etc. Basically, it was some cop who overreacted. Meanwhile, there probably were kids being abused and neglected, who didn’t get help because they cops were too busy trying to find something to catch me with.
I gather that some of these morons will be taking their daughters to get breast implants at 11 or 12?
–Whether they want them or not, Sgt.!
There’s no doubt the cops around here don’t have enough to do, Elizabeth–there’s so many police on the payroll you can’t walk outside your door without seeing one. I live three miles from work and most days will pass at least one cop on the way. My wife got her first and second tickets in 20 years…in Wichita. Not for speeding or dui– for turning without a complete stop onto Rock Road and for being nine days late on registration. Nine days!!!!
Next time the no-tax element in town gets all p.o.’ed about what the city spends money on, they should look at the excessive police payroll. I’ve never seen so many cops in all of the places I have lived.
Well, on the matter of getting involved or not, I MUCH prefer what this woman did to the actions of those who stepped over and took pictures of that stabbed and dying woman the other day. I already don’t shop at Walmart. This is just about my 785th reason to continue that.
More? I saw a dog locked in a car outside the Dillons the other day. It was still there when I left the store. I watched a bit and FINALLY the owners came back out to their car. I asked them if they would mind sitting in a car sitting in the sun with its windows rolled up. Nasty words were exchanged. If the dog had started to look bad, I WAS prepared to bust out a window. And I told them so.
Once again, the media doesn’t give you the whole story (what a surprise!) I work at the Wal-Mart in question, and although I was at the store that day, I did not witness the incident; however, after speaking with co-workers and management, I learned that Marilyn Johnson — the shopper who called the police and was eventually ejected and banned from the store — was cursing and otherwise behaving badly after the associate refused to fix her watch, which company policy did not allow the associate to do. So she was not ejected just for calling the police unnecessarily, but for just being a troublemaker. At first I thought Ms. Johnson received a harsh punishment, but now I feel it was appropriate.
“Ear bobs and tattoos eh Roxann? You going to put the family brand on their hindquarters as well?”
Apparently you can’t read. Why am I not surprised?
If in fact the good samariton “threw a fit” the security tapes would back up the allegations of many oppinonators, however, since there have been none offered, I am more inclined to believe that Wal Mart overreacted. As far as her possibly cursing and throwing a fit, why haven’t more shoppers come forward to be heard. And as far as the mothers story being the “correct” story, does that mean if her story had been in the paper first and the good samaritons was in second, you all would be automatically saying the samaritons story was correct!!!!!
If you think the lady shouldn’t have called police, would your opinion change if the girl was getting two piercings in each earlobe? How about if the piercing was being done in the top part of the ear?Different opinion then?
Parents should be free to exercise their own judgements without morons like the woman that called the police getting involved. It was none of her business if the girl’s ears were pierced or not. How about baptisms and religious indoctrination? Should they be off limits until the child reaches an approriate age?
While I personally think the girl was too young for pierced ears, this is a far cry from anything abusive. Please people, get a life
Ear piercing is not abuse.My ears have been pierced since I was 8 days old….didn’t kill me and I’m not traumatized.
So Randy Schofield thinks “The police have better things to do and real abuse to investigate.” I wonder when Randy thinks it is OK to call the police when we see a 4-year-old in distress? Does the little girl have to be bleeding and unconscious before Randy would think a call is justified?
It’s stupid to subject a child to body alteration that’s not necessary…parents should wait intil a child is old enough to make the decision for themselves. I find it funny that some on this blog who are staunch prochoicers believe it’s OK to do something that’s NOT necessary and painful to a child against their will or before they’re old enough to decide for themselves.What gives you that right?