Randy Scholfield had some fun in his Friday column with the report that the U.S. Air Force considered a plan to develop a bomb that would turn enemy soldiers gay. He pointed out the obvious goofiness about the idea, but then raised some practical questions that might have given military strategists pause: "What if the wind changed, and blew the clouds of gay gas back on our troops? Imagine the confusion. Would U.S. soldiers who were gay become straight? I’m not sure the military’s ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy would cover the fallout, or coming out, or whatever you want to call it."
Posted by Phillip Brownlee
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48 Comments
Yeah, but where would we use all that Pink Camo..?
If the gay bomb blew back on our troops, they too would drop their guns and start to dance a Chorus Line with the enemy troops- just like the scene in Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles! Hey, maybe it ain’t such a bad idea after all!
I wonder if they tested this “gay gas” in the bay area?
“For the first time in history the UN Security Council agreed on everything today. Police are still searching for the culprit who put marijuana in the ventilation system.”
Gay Bomb… you’re kidding right?
There were homosexuals amongst the Roman legions, the Spartans and the Waffen SS and they were three of the greatest military forces the world has ever seen.
A bomb to lower IQ would be far more effective.
God, I hope they test this bomb in kansas….
You would, wouldn;t you. :)
OMG, I would LOVE to see terry, joe and phred breathe some of those fumes…
Heheheheheheh!
And bonbon and brenda and susan “I own bingo parlours but you cant vote on gambling” wagle, and jan beemer, and the list goes on.
Hee hee hee! I guess outlander and germie could just hold their breaths…..
Oh and I would LOVE to see governor leadership and joyce allegrucci come out to the entire state. Maybe an alternate lifestyle with jan pauls?
Ewwwwwwwww! That grossed out even ME!
Maybe the fumes from this could be bottled in small amounts like pepper spray?
Turn a mugger into a queer with just one squirt?
Imagine the fun we could have with a little “smoke” bomb in the churches?
Sign me up!
Oh, and I wonder, is there an antidote to this gay bomb? Maybe if we gave phelps the anti gay spray he and his minions would STOP their nonsense?
I mean, if fred were no longer gay, what a wonderful world, huh?
And if the antidote works, I know some gay folks I would like to vote OFF the gay old island…
Let’s start with mark foley and work our way UP from there!
You are having waaaay too much fun with this. Stop it. You will wake the others.
hee hee hee littlejohn!
This is SO goddam silly the ONLY reaction is to have fun and point out how INSANE our so called leaders in this war on terra really are!
And on the same subject, I think this good woman needs a little squirt of “the gay” her ownself.
heheheheheheheheheeh!
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389×1120299
Shit, if things like this worked, the GOP would have already turned everyone into NASCAR fans…
What a buncha maroons.
Dont you feel safer at night knowing THESE genius guys are the ones looking after you?
They must have incapacitated al quaida with LAUGHTER when they got news of this!
Jesus WEPT!
There are idiots everywhere, and I am NOT talking about Nascar fans. I don;t have the time to sit down such a long contest. Nor NFL, nor NBA, Nor Pro Baseball. Three hours, just to sit and watch> Geesh!
You would be surprised at some of the dumb things proposed within the military or the civilian overseers of the military, regardless of party affiliation.
“A bomb to lower IQ would be far more effective”
Already been done. Dropped it on the White House.
Gays in the military, Eddie Izzard style…
“And they’re missing a *huge* opportunity here because we all know that one of the main elements of attack is the element of surprise! So what could be more surprising…than the First Battallion Transvestite Brigade? The airborne wing parachuting into dangerous areas, with *fantastic* makeup! And a fantastic gun.
And the opposing forces are going “F—-n’ hell, look at these guys! Baah…They’ve got guns! Jesus! They’ve got guns! Oh bugger… (hands raised in surrender)I was so surprised. Were you surprised? I was surprised.”
Okay…on one hand, this is pretty funny stuff.
On the other hand…
What the Pentagon is saying here is that gay and lesbians are somehow less capable on the battlefield than other soldiers and Marines. Nothing could be further from the truth, and quite frankly, I find the Pentagon’s willingness to even look at a “weapon” like this to be incredibly insulting.
There have been, and are, countless gay Americans who have quietly but bravely served this nation. They fight and die and bleed and weep at the loss of their fellow soldiers just like anyone else. To push the idea that gay and lesbian soldiers are somehow less than straights is a disservice to the memory and heroism of every gay soldier, sailor, airman and Marine lost in battle.
“What the Pentagon is saying here is that gay and lesbians are somehow less capable on the battlefield than other soldiers and Marines. Nothing could be further from the truth, and quite frankly, I find the Pentagon’s willingness to even look at a ‘weapon’ like this to be incredibly insulting.”
And I thought the ancient Greeks consider homosexual warriors to be the more ferocious ones!
There is nothing more frightening than a pissed off gay guy.
(wink!)
Reminds me of the homosexual “street toughs” threatening Kramer in the classic Seinfeld episode.
“Who? Who will not wear de ribbon?”
A gay bomb? How can you morons develop a gay bomb? You can’t turn people “gay”…this is a ridiculous article ever!
WS,
Or as Jon Stewart pointed out… 10,000 gay guys with guns, all saying “WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FAGGOT???”
One of my favorite lines, Tom, an absolute classic!
The CIA and military would probably do better to stick with LSD- tried-tested and true!
If I put on a skirt, can I pretend to be a lesbian. After all, I could be a lesbian in a man’s body :)
Looks like Randy suckered lots of you by dropping a gullible bomb.
How could a gas change one’s orientation from normative to specifically deviant? From normal to abnormal, maybe — baaaaad for the local shepherd, but not from normative to specifically same sex, same species.
Go back to sleep, Republank.
I am gay. I served in three deployments, one of which was a year-long deployment in Iraq. I can’t say that I was more concerned with checking out the guys in uniform than the guys shooting bullets, missiles, and mortars at me. Oh, by the way, I still serve our nation in the military. The only thing that has changed since you read this is the confirmation that a fag IS serving in the military. To hell with anyone who can’t deal with that. At least I have the intestinal fortitude and courage to voluntarily join the military and put my life on the line for this country, our constitution, and you. Too bad I have to go stag and can’t take my boyfriend to military functions.
Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the old saying, “Make love, not war”, heh, heh!
Just for the sake of argument, what if it were possible and we used it in the ME.I can see it now….
You’re taken prisoner by the bad guys. They offer you a choice: You can be sodomized or beheaded…Which would you choose?
Which is worse, being blown up by a road-side bomb, or being beat to death with a purse?
How would you tell who the bad guys are if EVERYBODY wore burkas?
Could you get a Purple Heart if you were slapped by an Islamo-facist pansey?
Can’t you just see OBL threatening to scratch our eyes out?
What do the Geneva Conventions say about pinching? Would that be considered torture? Hair-pulling?
“K”:
Thank you for your courage and your service.
Oh, maybe someone else already dropped a gay bomb… I’m gay and I’m in the military.
The real gay bomb is the refusal, or inability, of parents in stable marriages to engage in meaningful, loving relationships with their children. Some even abuse or molest their children. Most homosexuals have a failed or missing parent, often the father, in their childhood – that’s when their gay bomb exploded.Gay bombs have been exploding in America for decades, and the homosexual population, recently measured at 2-3%, is growing.Happy Father’s Day.
It is unbelievable that one human being can be as full of shit as you are, Parkay. If you were given a Fleetwood enema, they could bury you in a shoe box.
WS,
How big of a shoebox does one NEED for a thimble???
I know lots of straight people that came from screwed up homes too… doesn’t change the fact that you are or you aren’t. I know the religious and the fearful are banking on the whole “it’s a choice” thing, but sorry, folks… for every one person who’s just passing through experimenting, there’s about 1,000 who didn’t get the memo that they could CHOOSE not to be homosexual.
Oh well, I hope they do invent a Gay Gas and they bomb the whole Midwest with it. As long as it wears off and leaves the affected party with full knowledge of their “gas-induced gayness.”
Might be the enema this state needs.
Illegal Aliens and their impact on Medical Health
http://www.jpands.org/vol10no1/cosman.pdf
New Stuff. THE AFRICAN AMERICAN CITIZENS are starting to get it and support the cause. ALL CITIZENS first and I SUPPORT AMERICAN CITIZENS without regard, over ANY ILLEGAL ALIEN PUKES!!!
WE AMerican CITIZENS MUST COME TOGETHER TO FIGHT THIS PLAGUE OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGXLteQiQPU
“Oh well, I hope they do invent a Gay Gas and they bomb the whole Midwest with it. As long as it wears off and leaves the affected party with full knowledge of their “gas-induced gayness.”
OMG, that is TOO funny!! I hope those of us unaffected by the bomb would also have cameras and video at the ready…. Just in case they ever FORGET it was “gas induced gayness.”
I wonder if they will still say it is a choice? Hehehehehheh.
And, more musing here, what happens to us folks who already are gay if we get hit? Will it turn us straight? Make us christians like terry joe and phred? Will I be irresistable to EVERYONE? Good grief!
enquiring minds want to know….
And you should all remember, the spending on this insane idea, even the meeting where it was dreamed up, were paid for by YOUR tax dollars that go into the sink hole known as the republican spending spree….
Again, dont you feel safer from the “terrorists” knowing THESE asswipes are incharge?
Yes, please vote republican. It’s easier than thinking…
The problem with developing weapons systems such as the Gay Bomb is that they invite whole new rounds of weapons escalation.If we develop a bomb that turns enemy soldiers gay, then our enemies will immediately start work on The Nude Bomb (as in the movie by the same name) that destroys all clothing. Can you imagine our red-blooded All-American military facing a horde of gay soldiers, and suddenly finding they don’t have a thing to wear? Now THAT’S terror!
For WHOM?
Hot!
Farm Gal,For our red-blooded All-American homophobic Pentagon of course! Not necessarily the front-line soldiers, although in the middle-east desert, sunburn is a distinct fear.
hee hee hee Jed and Tom.