The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:
BRAWL ERUPTS AT REINDEER GAMES; Rudolph Suspended for Season
LOU DOBBS WARNS SANTA NOT TO CROSS U.S. BORDER; Anchor Attacks Foreign-made Items in Claus’ Sack
BUSH CALLS IRAQ MAIN FRONT IN WAR ON GAY MARRIAGE; Accuses Iran, Syria of Sending Wedding Planners Over Border
KERRY REVEALS THAT 2004 CAMPAIGN WAS BOTCHED JOKE; Will Skip ‘08 to Focus on Comedy Career
PRESIDENT OF IRAN DENIES THAT HOLOCAUST DENIAL CONFERENCE EVER HAPPENED; Holds New Conference of Holocaust Denial Deniers
BUSH REFUSES TO SET TIMETABLE FOR READING STUDY GROUP REPORT; Finishing Report Would Send ‘Wrong Message’ to Enemies, President Says
Posted by Phillip Brownlee
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21 Comments
JUNIOR CREATES ABSOLUTE PROOF THAT GOLFER IS A TROLL
Capngalahad goes on rampage after free sample of ENZYTE runs out. Rumor has it that smilin’ Brad ain’t smilin’ no more!
V.L.R.B!!
Blog “Survivor” game declared!
J R invites bloggers to vote to figurtively kick golfnut off the blog.
Will misses JRs proof that KSGolfnut is a troll. Doesn’t give Slapnuts the benefit of the doubt though.
NOBODY FOUGHT WITH ANYBODYON THE WE BLOG TODAY!
BLOGGER TRACY CLAIMS AN END TO ANTAGONISTIC RAMBLINGS ON BLOG. BLOGGER TRACY ADMITTED TO EMERGANCY ROOM FOR CONTUSIONS SUFFERED FROM BEATING HIMSELF TO PROVE A POINT.
In a related note, blogger Tracy hires lawyer to sue himself over severe beating. Lawyer overheard asking blogger Tracy, “Which one of you is going to pay me?”
KANSASGOLFNUT HIRES LAWYERIN ORDEER TO SUE JR OVER VIRTUAL BANNING FROM WEBLOG.
Kansasgolfnut overheard saying, “Every man, woman and child has the God given right to blog or not to blog, and that is the question that my lawyer, Fred Phelps, will be enjoining the courts to answer in my favor, of course.”
When asked by the Union why there was no question mark at the end of the alleged question, Kansasgolfnut replied, “Question mark? I don’t need no stinking question mark!”
JM WALKER WINS NATIONAL SPELLING BEE!!
KANSASGOLFNUTS REVEALED AS NERF CROQUET PLAYER!!!
“Those big golf clubs scare me” offered the golf wannbe.”Besides, the balls are too small. Is that something Freudian?”, he asked.
GOLFNUT REVEALS EXCELLENT SENSE OF HUMOR. LAUGHS ALL DAY.
Keep ‘em coming boys (and girls). =)
Merry Christmas to all.
BLOGGERS AGREE TO SWITCH POSITIONS AND ARGUE OPPOSITE OPINION FOR REST OF 2006
In order to be objective and see others point of view a switch-a-roo has taken place and will last until the happy new year.
ksgrm. That is a DAMN fine idea. Maybe they could start an opposit day thread or something. Wow, that really is good !!!
RUMSFELD TAKES VACATION IN IRAQ – Long rest needed along with some Brown Root Tea…
SANTA’S FACE IS RED! Santa delivers “lace nitie” to Rudolf; Rudolf Winks!
U.S. NAVY DEDICATES SHIP TO CLINTON! The U.S.S. NORECALL due to leave port next week…
SEBELIUS CAUGHT WITH THREE ILLEGAL ALIENS! Three hispanic females were found attending the Governor’s Mansion Laundry and Housekeeping…
SEDGWICK COUNTY CANCELS ARENA! Commissioners vote to use the money for new County office space and staff cars…
WILL JUST MIGHT BE CRAZY ENOUGH TO TAKE KSGRM ON HIS OFFER TO SWITCH TALKING POINTS UNTIL THE NEW YEAR!
I love a challenge!
Switching. . .
Ya know, SS is the best retirement system ever. The best thing you can do in life is trust the government. Even though they spend your payroll tax money rather than invest it in an account with your name on it, don’t worry! Now if a private individual did that you might call it a crime, but it’s the government. You must know that politians only lie during elections and always act with your best interests at heart.
LOL!
OMG! Too funny Proudman!
HILLARY CHANGES POLITICAL DIRECTION!!!
POTENTIAL CANDIDATE OPTS FOR SEX CHANGE OPERATION.
“Hillbert Rodham is a far more viable candidate in this man’s world” , the ex-missus mused!
“I might even grow a Lincolnesque beard!!
THIS IS FUN!
GEORGE BUSH TO ACCEPT NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.
CHENEY TO GIVE AWAY MILLIONS IN HALLIBURTON STOCK TO GAY MARRIAGE ALLIANCE.
GET THE GOVERNMENT OUT OF HEALTHCARE:1) SUSPEND MEDICAL SCHOOL TRAINING, RESIDENCIES, ETC. (Just like in days of old, some people are just natural healers; current government interference = unfair trade barrier)2) THE FREE MARKET WILL REWARD THE BEST AND MOST COST EFFECTIVE SERVICES (Blogger suggests KSGN as a recipient of a super discounted angioplasty)
My stab at an opposite post.
PPRIVATIZE RELIGION: REVOKE CHURCH’S NON-PROFIT STATUS: Blogger explains, “the pre-reformation Catholic Church was Wrong – You can buy your way into Heaven. Let us show you how!
IAN SANTIAGO SELLS GUN AND COMIC BOOK COLLECTIONS AND GIVES PROCEEDS EQUALLY TO THE NAACP, MECHA AND THE ADL!