The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:
BUSH: U.S. COMMITTED TO FINDING NEW SYNONYMS FOR CIVIL WAR; Launches Operation Noble Euphemism
AL-JAZEERA REFUSES TO AIR O.J. SPECIAL; ‘Not Up to Our Standards of Taste,’ Says Satellite Network
BUSH SEEKS PAM ANDERSON’S ADVICE ABOUT EXIT STRATEGY; ‘Cut and Run,’ Says ‘Baywatch’ Beauty
ROVE, SATAN SPLIT OVER MIDTERM DEFEAT; Beelzebub Accuses Bush Aide of Playing the Blame Game
Posted by Phillip Brownlee
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24 Comments
SEBELIUS REJECTS OBAMA, MEETS WITH O.J. — Aides label golf course encounter “just coincidence”.
CHENEY ANNOUNCES RUN FOR PRESIDENT
Would be nation’s first undead chief executive
Bush Names Next UN Ambassador–BORAT
“Bolton wasn’t doing a sufficient job p*ssing people off,” said Commander in Chief.
BOLTON DIDN’T RESIGN – HE STEPPED DOWN – Bush
Oops, that one’s real!
“CAPN & PEEMOM CONCEIVE CHILD!”
“We’re doing our part to add to the poverty population base. If we can’t get free healthcare, then we’ll just keep popping out kids so SOMEONE has to pay, dammit”
“JR FILES SUIT”
“That’s my kid, dammit”
C’mon now GoofNut, that’s not fair.
You know that P_Mom is a feminist lesbian and would never bear a child and so would immediately get an abortion.
I, on the other hand as a tree-hugger, am only amorously attracted to trees, well . . . sometimes large houseplants but usually trees.
Keep your liberal hate stereotypes straight, won’t you?
WEblog gets new target!
J R to KSgolfnuts “I will bury you!”
KSGOLFNUT Announces Plan to End Poverty
Claims “they can start their own businesses and sell IPO’s”
GOLFNUTZ in near fatal golf course accident – bag and balls are separated and missing. Nutz offers reward to locating his missing balls, search party organized, magnifying glasses are recommended.
Cap,Stop stealing my ideas.
PS – look up the story of Bill Meredith in Wellington. Laid off machinist, started his own shop in his garage with a single Bridgeport. Built it up over 30 years and sold it for something like $80 million.
…liberal hate stereotypes???
I prognosticated that you and Cindy had fornicated for the sake of bearing fruit (working on the tree angle for ya).
That’s not hate; that’s love, dude.
Goofy testicles booming “business” (male escort) goes in the tank from right wing radical bible thumpers. Irony?
Oooh la la…
If only I had the time to operate said escort biz…
I’d be rich beyond my wildest dreams – and I have some pretty grand dreams. =)
Oooh la la…
If only I had the time to operate said escort biz…
I’d be rich beyond my wildest dreams – and I have some pretty grand dreams. =)
Techno-glitch. Opps.
Whoa . . . the man is a laugh RIOT, I tell you what.
On second thought, maybe you should leave the jokes to people who are actually funny.
BTW, for every laid off machinist that starts his own company, there are 5,000 that try and fail and lose what little savings they’ve got and end up drinking themselves into an early grave.
I know that facts which don’t conform to your world-view don’t matter–that’s why you love Bush, same attitude–but for the rest of us in the reality-based community, one anecdote does not an argument make.
It’s like saying because you knew somebody once who played in the NBA, anybody who tries should be able to play in the NBA and that anybody who’s not playing in the NBA is just not trying.
The vast majority aren’t going to be able to do it, because it takes skills that they don’t have.
capn – that last part (NBA) is, unfortunately, a common myth in the inner city.
“BTW, for every laid off machinist that starts his own company, there are 5,000 that try and fail and lose what little savings they’ve got and end up drinking themselves into an early grave.”
I knew two who actually left their jobs to do so, and failed.
SOCIALIST BACKS FREEDOM – “Just make the right choices and nobody gets hurt”
COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATIVE PREACHES OF LOWER GOVERNMENT SPENDING – “Just because I work to expand government doesn’t mean I’m for big government!”
Proudman – your second one has already been used – by Bush.
hmmm . . .
And the first was used by J R just yesterday. Check out his comments on the tax item (Ben Stein’s Op-Ed).
THE COLLECTIVIST, JR, ENLISTS HIS SUPERIOR NUMBERS TO DEFEAT THE INDIVIDUALIST, PROUDMAN: Observers cheer and wonder why PM formed such a hatred of other people…
“I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE” BY NIRVANA VOTED MOST UPLIFTING SONG OF ALL TIME!!!