The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:
U.S. BOMBARDS INSURGENTS WITH NEGATIVE ADS; ‘Operation Relentless Smear’ Is Launched in Iraq
SCIENTISTS DEMOTE BUSH PRESIDENCY TO DWARF STATUS; White House Joins Pluto in New Classification
BUSH’S DAD ASKS FOR KEYS TO WHITE HOUSE BACK; Air Force One, President Grounded for Life
KERRY BOTCHES ‘YO MAMA’ JOKE; Omits Words ‘Mama’ and ‘Yo’ in West Point Appearance
PELOSI VOWS TO RETURN BUSH’S BALLS BY EARLY ‘O9; Reassures President in Oval Office Meeting
DEMOCRATS, REPUBLICANS AGREE TO TAKE TWO YEARS OFF; Two Parties Find Common Ground in Decision Not to Work
CHENEY REMINDS BUSH HE HAS PICTURES OF HIM NAKED; Veep Unlikely to Be Axed, Insiders Say
Posted by Phillip Brownlee
Registered?
Commenting on WE Blog now requires you to be a Kansas.com member. Use the links above to register, if you haven't already, or to log in.Contact us
Follow us
Daily Archives
-
Recent Comments
- TomPaine on Too many exemptions
- littlejohn on Let immigrants run
- writerdog on Minority status in Senate; majority approval at home
- Pleefer on Open thread 11/23
- Monkeyhawk on Let immigrants run
- Pleefer on Open thread 11/23
- Pleefer on Open thread 11/23
- writerdog on Let immigrants run
- Regular on Open thread 11/23
- JimJohnson on Let immigrants run
13 Comments
Alas, this one is real!Voodoo practitioner tries to jinx Bush ahead of state visit
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061117/ap_on_fe_st/bush_black_magic
WICHITA EAGLE HOLDS DINNER TO HONOR G.W. BUSH, Phillip Brownlee picks up the tab
SENATOR CLINTON ADMITS MEMBERSHIP IN NRA, Hillary claims rights to get the foxes out of the henhouse.
SLEEP DEPRIVED FIND SOLUTION BY LOSING TIGHT UNDERWEAR, Retailers announce sale on 17th Century Style Night Gowns
PELOSI DENIES BRIBE GIFTS, Pelosi states the Frankincense and Myrr were for an annual charity event.
KURDISH LEADER SAVES IRAQ, Head of the Kurdish Oil Consortium, Omar Abdah gives Sunni and Shiite leaders guaranteed lifetime incomes, ethnic and sectarian violence halts immediately.
LIMBAUGH COMES OUT AS GAY.FOLEY/LIMBAUGH TO WED IN SPRING.
FOLEY/LIMBAUGH WEDDING OFF!
“During wedding rehersals I saw my darling Rush in a dress. I haven’t slept since, and I’m really afraid I never will!!”, Foley stated.
“I’m leaving town, and Rush said something about joining a Convent.”
IAN SANTIAGO VICTIM OF MYSTERIOUS PRACTICAL JOKE!!!
Neighbors report seeing a bright light and a loud voice yelling “Take that you Putz!!”. When they loked across the street , Mr. Santiago’s property appeared to be awash with frogs, locusts and Republicans!
Later reports that Mr. Santiago’s legs have grown together appear to be true.
Details to follow.
TRACY TO AMMEND CONSTITUTION
Tracy is single handedly trying to amend the two term presidential limitation. With spittle on his chin and a crazed look in his eye, he is reported to be repeating “Gotsta get me some more o’ dat. Gotsta keep Bushy in office.”
Details at eleven.
George W Bush goes to Vietnam………….
So what if it was forty years late?
GROUNDBREAKING FOR MAJOR PRIVATE DEVELOPMENT IN WATER WALK IMMINENT!
Oops, already used that one – and boy is it ever dubious!
ARENA TO SELL LUCRATIVE NAMING RIGHTS!
Ian Santiago is revealed to be a black, gay, Jewish, welfare recipient from New York City.
With all apologies to those that are black, gay, Jewish or welfare recipients.
Or from NYC.
I know, I know – you wouldn’t have Ian for all the money that Dick Cheney has………
Ian “I wanna be a white boy” Santiago deported back to Cuba. Reason given by INS agents, “He was one ugly Mutha F***a, even for a Cuban.”
I remember in 2005 when the highway construction crew on E. Kellogg unearthed a mammoth fossil, and the Eagle proclaimed in one of these comical pretend headlines that the fossil was really proof that the Kansas Democratic Party once existed. I’ll bet that Bonnie Huy, Willa DeCastro and Ben Sciortino really dislike being beaten by long-dead fossils.
IAN SANTIAGO USING AN ISRAELI-BASED MAIL SERVICE
Oh wait. . .that’s true. :)