Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com:
BUSH PROPOSES MAKING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ‘GUEST WORKERS’; Would Be One-Day Citizens on November 7
BARACK OBAMA IMPERILS DEMOCRATS’ LOSING TRADITION, PARTY MEMBERS FEAR; Dean Reassures Dems: ‘We Can Still Screw This Up’
BUSH: I WILL STAY THE COURSE OF NOT USING THE PHRASE ‘STAY THE COURSE’; But Will Not Cut and Run from ‘Cut and Run,’ President Says
McCARTNEY DIVORCE ON THE BRINK OF CIVIL WAR, EXPERTS FEAR; James Baker Calls Beatle Split ‘A Heckuva Mess’
U.S. CEDES CONTROL OF IRAQ TO JERRY BRUCKHEIMER; Megaproducer to Guide Nation’s Transition to Disaster Film
Posted by Phillip Brownlee

10 Comments

  1. TRACY
    Posted October 31, 2006 at 7:05 am | Permalink

    Ian Santiago’s MySpace page breaks all time record for MySpace friends.

  2. TRACY
    Posted October 31, 2006 at 7:52 am | Permalink

    SNOOP DOG & MEADOWLARK RUN FOR PREZ & VICE PREZ AS DEMOCRATS.

  3. JM
    Posted October 31, 2006 at 8:07 am | Permalink

    WICHITA EAGLE INVESIGATES VOTER FRAUD – Cemetery Residents Not Cooperating with Interviews

    THERAPY CLINIC SUES SIGN MAKER = Lead The rapist Gene Baxterly said extra space unneccessary

    MICHELLE’S BEACH HOUSE PROPOSED MOVE CAUSES STIR in DERBY – Derby City Council promises hands on investigation

    LOCAL AIRBUS OFFICE REDUCES STAFF – After the Emirates cancelling the multi billion dollar contract, Spokesman said 1 person more than enough to do the job

    FORTY POLICE RESPOND TO EMERGENCY – House of Doughnuts saved from would be robbers

  4. P. Julius
    Posted October 31, 2006 at 8:09 am | Permalink

    $56K windfall for some at former Boeing plant in Kansas

    http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/boeingaerospace/2003332037_spirit31.html

  5. SportsNews
    Posted October 31, 2006 at 8:13 am | Permalink

    JOE WILLIAMS AGREES TO PAY GAMBLING DEBT: Thus moving from Debt Welsher to his former role as Blog Oddity

  6. rm6046
    Posted October 31, 2006 at 8:39 am | Permalink

    ARENA TAX CANCELLED — UNEXPECTED WINDFALL FROM BENGLADESHI CONVENTION CITED. Tent manufacturer “thrilled”.

  7. gster
    Posted October 31, 2006 at 8:44 am | Permalink

    AG KLINE APPLIED TO BECOME A PAGE IN US CONGRESS!!!

    AG THOUGHT TO BE HEDGING BETS ON UPCOMING ELECTION!!

    “I hear there are some recent open postions, and I thought this might be a career changing event. I enjoy being around elected officals.I hear they are real friendly!”, the AG added.

  8. gster
    Posted October 31, 2006 at 8:48 am | Permalink

    THE MAHARESHI MAHESH YOGI TO BLESS NEW ARENA IN SPECIAL LEVITATION CEREMONY!!

    DETAILS TO FOLLOW AFTER CLEARANCE IS GRANTED BY THE FAA.

  9. Dennis
    Posted October 31, 2006 at 9:35 am | Permalink

    If only these bogus, etc., headlines were even a little bit funny

  10. gster
    Posted October 31, 2006 at 1:34 pm | Permalink

    WE TO INSTALL GOB FILTER ON BLOG SITE.

    The Gob filter (Grumpy Old Bastard filter) is to deter similar above referenced comments.