Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

BUBONIC PLAGUE OUTBREAK AT COWTOWN; Latest Setback for Beleaguered Attraction
JIM BARNETT JUMPS ON STAGE AT STONES CONCERT; Seen as Desperate Attempt by GOP Gubernatorial Candidate to Raise Profile
PASTORS FOX AND WRIGHT ADOPT RAP FORMAT; Will ‘Answering the Booty Call’ Revive Radio Progam?
Posted by Randy Scholfield
spoofs photo

16 Comments

  1. Roscoe
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 10:25 am | Permalink

    Oh, isn’t the editorial staff sooooo clever to mock Barnett’s inability to raise his profile when the Eagle goes out of it’s way NOT to print anything about his campaign!

    Just another way for the Eagle to help the reelection of no-plan, empty-suit Sebelius: 1) keep Barnett out of the news, 2)reinforce his “lack of traction” when you do print something about him and 3) by all means, give Sebelius print and a photo for every one of her feel-good, accomplish-nothing photo-ops.

  2. Stephen Polson
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 10:40 am | Permalink

    In my whole life I have never seen such an intense, slick, nonstop media blitz as the one our current govener is laying on us. Makes me think she has a lot of convincing to do, or maybe a lot of convoluting.

  3. Steven Davis
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 11:14 am | Permalink

    Could it be…just possibly… the reason Barnett’s campaign is getting such terrible coverage is that . . . wait for it . . . the campaign itself sucks?

  4. ksfarmgrrl
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 11:16 am | Permalink

    Hey, he put susan “I own bingo parlors but you cant vote on gambling” wagle on the ticket.

    what more did he need to do?

    hehehehehehh

  5. Ed Friedemann
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 11:17 am | Permalink

    N Korea nukes Israel killing 5.8 million Jews. Event dubbed: “Not Quite a Holocaust”

  6. ksfarmgrrl
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 11:18 am | Permalink

    or maybe he is using bonbon huy’s political guru?

    You know the one who must have told her it was good to be the only house member to vote in FAVOR of allowing parents to marry off their 14 year old daughters?

    heheheh. Maybe she has a future in congress….

  7. gster
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 12:52 pm | Permalink

    PREZ BUSH DECLARES VIET NAM WAR A US VICTORY!!!

    “We ought to be proud! We fought that war the same way we are in the Iraq War, and I declare it a victory, so the Viet Nam War must be a win!! It’s Bushlogic!!,” the Prez added.

    Late reports of Press Secretary Tony Snow entering rehab for a vacation are unfounded, a White House spokeman reported.

  8. Ed Friedemann
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 1:36 pm | Permalink

    Prez goes into rehab for Cluster-Bombing underaged kids in Lebanon.

  9. Rage
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 1:48 pm | Permalink

    WAR IS PEACESources also confirm that freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength

  10. Steven Davis
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 2:02 pm | Permalink

    BUSH DECLARES DEMOCRATS ARE ENEMY COBATANTS: Before this announcement Bush noted -”If you don’t think we should be listening in on the terrorist, then you ought to vote for the Democrats. If you want your government to continue listening in when al-Qaeda planners are making phone calls into the United States, then you vote Republican.” [the quote is NOT made up]

    Is it just me, or are GWB’s false dichotomies sounding much more desperate than usual?

  11. Steven Davis
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 2:17 pm | Permalink

    EAGLE EDITORIAL BOARD DECLARED ENEMY CIMBATANTS: The Board’s criticism of the successful war in Iraq cited.

  12. CapnAmerica
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 5:11 pm | Permalink

    CAL THOMAS DIES–EAGLE TO RERUN OLD COLUMNS TWICE WEEKLY

    “We thought he had died years ago,” editors say . . .

  13. CapnAmerica
    Posted October 4, 2006 at 5:12 pm | Permalink

    Hehehe, good one, Rage–

    OCEANIA AT WAR WITH EURASIA

    “We have always been at war with Eurasia,” says Spokesman Tony Snow.

  14. jw
    Posted October 5, 2006 at 11:00 am | Permalink

    LIBERALS WOO FOLEY FOR PRESIDENT; Cite Need For More Diversity In Higher Office

  15. gster
    Posted October 5, 2006 at 3:26 pm | Permalink

    BUSTED!!!!!!!!!

    WICHITA CITY MANAGER KOLB FOUND MOONLIGHTING AS WEEKEND CAN-CAN DANCER AT COW TOWN SALOON!!

    “That certainly explains those UGLY legs”, the barkeeper observed. ” We were getting requests that she wear longjohns when high-kicking to prevent eye pollution!!”

    AG Kline and the Morals Police reportedly seeking access to the individuals health records.

    “We need to know if he ever had an abortion. You can’t ever be too safe”, the AG stated.

  16. jw
    Posted October 6, 2006 at 1:01 pm | Permalink

    LIBERALS DEMAND PREGNANT HISPANIC WOMEN BE GIVEN ABORTIONS BY FEDS; Cite Need For Diversity In Abortion Statistics