Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

MAYANS ENDS EFFORT TO REVIVE WSU FOOTBALL; But Stuns Council by Announcing Campaign to Reopen Roller Coaster at Joyland
CITY UNVEILS ROBOCOP FOR OLD TOWN; Last-ditch Effort to Clean Up Nightclub Area
SPRINGDALE, ARK., RESIDENTS VOTE TO MOVE TO WICHITA; Cite Better Quality of Life, More Entertainment Options
JOHN D’ANGELO ASKED TO TAKE OVER CITY COUNCIL; Will Create Stabilization Plan for Dysfunctional City Body
Posted by Randy Scholfield

16 Comments

  1. Madea
    Posted July 16, 2006 at 12:19 am | Permalink

    “KAPOW!” “OOFFF” “NO MORE, PLEASE!”:Sounds heard when Ian Santiago met Madea

  2. Tony
    Posted July 16, 2006 at 4:19 am | Permalink

    Gander Mountain declares bankruptcy, Museum of World Treasures moves in…

    oh wait, that could happen… ;-)

  3. J M Walker
    Posted July 16, 2006 at 9:09 am | Permalink

    Gander Mountain and city council sue Sportsman’s Warehouse for being a better store with lower prices.

  4. ProudMan
    Posted July 16, 2006 at 12:54 pm | Permalink

    GORE DECLARES “THE DEBATE IS OVER! I’M RIGHT AND YOUR WRONG!” Other kids agree.

    MOVIE PROVES SUPERMAN IS REAL, Eagle Columnist claims myth now reality.

  5. J R
    Posted July 16, 2006 at 4:19 pm | Permalink

    headline Wall Street Journal

    July 16 2016

    Glob..ub al ub blub War blub ming is a glub myth!

  6. CrusaderX
    Posted July 17, 2006 at 1:48 am | Permalink

    unidentified flying cabbages have been spotted careening towards Ian Santiago’s house. (CrusaderX shrugs and walks away whistling dixie)

  7. gster
    Posted July 17, 2006 at 1:08 pm | Permalink

    PHIL KLINE RAIDS NEW COLLYER, KS EATING ESTABLISHMENT!!

    “I’ve been getting reports of Left-wing food being prepared!! This is Red Eastern Kansas, we can’t allow that. There is no place here for Prairiedog Burgers with Snipe sauce, or Kennelworth Grille Road Kill stew!! Lock’em up!!”

  8. gster
    Posted July 17, 2006 at 1:15 pm | Permalink

    PHIL KLINE DISAPPEARS AFTER COLLYER RAID!!!

    His office reported ” We have no idea where he is, or what may have happened”.

    Local eatery offers strange new menu item:”The AG Double with lots of onions”.

  9. Julie
    Posted July 17, 2006 at 1:17 pm | Permalink

    Actually Gster the menu was BBQ – it just had a different twist – ala ‘Fried Green Tomatoes’ movie

  10. ksfarmgrrl
    Posted July 18, 2006 at 2:36 pm | Permalink

    heheheheheheheheh

    I hope you guys have bail money for me….

  11. gster
    Posted July 18, 2006 at 2:51 pm | Permalink

    KFG- In spite of the crap I made up, I would still try your menu, but no Philly Burgers please!

  12. Julie
    Posted July 18, 2006 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    I hope you guys have bail money for me….

    Posted by: ksfarmgrrl | July 18, 2006 at 02:36 PM

    Darlin’ we’ll be sitting beside you going “Dang that was fun!”:)

  13. gster
    Posted July 19, 2006 at 10:52 am | Permalink

    WICHITA CUT IN HALF!!!

    KELLOGG OVERPASS MELTS!!!

    47 CARS AND TRUCKS FALL INTO LITTLE ARKANSAS CREATING A HUGE TSUNAMI!! TIDAL WAVE WARNING ISSUED FOR UPSTREAM CITIES.

    Mayor Myans stated” I know it’s been very hot, but this is ridiculous!! Is that concrete from Walmart??”.

  14. gster
    Posted July 19, 2006 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    KEEPER OF THE PLAINS GONE!!

    Note found at statue base ” Gone north for the winter. Will be back in January!!”

    KANSAS HIGHWAY PATROL TO ISSUE APB.

  15. gster
    Posted July 19, 2006 at 12:18 pm | Permalink

    PRESIDENT’S DOG MISSING!!1BARNEY HAS RUN AWAY!!

    Note found in Barney’s doghouse:

    “I can’t take this anymore! It’s bad enough when my buddies down at the local watering bowl, “The Bow Wow Bar”, say my Master is a cretin. But now they say I’m starting to look like him!! No way!! I’m gone, don’t bother looking for me, there isn’t a leash big enough to bring me back!!

    Signed: Bubye Barney”

  16. gster
    Posted July 19, 2006 at 1:40 pm | Permalink

    SECRET CIA COUNTER-TERRORISM OPERATION DISCOVERED IN WICHITA KANSAS!!!

    SUPERSECRET AGENCY REPORTEDLY RAN ARKANSAS RIVER BOTTLING OPERATATION IN CENTURY II BASEMENT!!

    *Bottled water later to be shipped to Middle East for “discovery” by Al Qaeda.

    *Bush administration has given blanket amnesty for any human rights violations.

    *Dubbed the “Zene Offensive” , a spokeman stated ” Atrazine, kerozene, benzene, any zene will do. Our motto is ” Zene’em till they melt!”