Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from the Web site borowitzreport.com:
BUSH’S LOOK-ALIKE TROUNCES BUSH IN NEW POLL; Majority of Americans Prefer Comic Impostor to Actual President
SATAN’S TESTIMONY ROCKS ENRON TRIAL: Lord of Darkness Becomes Surprise Witness for Prosecution
FEMA SENT TO IRAN TO SLOW DOWN NUCLEAR PROGRAM; Agency Uses Bureaucracy, Red Tape to Hamstring Nukes
BUSH RAISES BOUNTY ON BIN LADEN TO A GALLON OF GAS; Highest Reward Ever for World’s Most Wanted Man
FOX NEWS-WHITE HOUSE MERGER COMPLETED; Bill O’Reilly Named Secretary of Defense
RETIRED OIL EXECUTIVES VOICE SUPPORT FOR RUMSFELD; Chauffeur-driven March on Washington Draws Hundreds
Posted by Phillip Brownlee

8 Comments

  1. writerdog
    Posted May 7, 2006 at 6:17 am | Permalink

    ROVE FOUND TO BE OBL!”blowing up Anerica would have taken to long”

  2. OneShot
    Posted May 7, 2006 at 6:32 am | Permalink

    TEACHERS CHEER REMOVAL OF COKE/PEPSI: “Now more of the little varmints will be asleep” says KNEA.

    PRESIDENT’S POLL NUMBERS HIT NEW LOW: President happy to be 40 under par.

    KS SURPREME COURT ORDERS $1,000,000 FOR POP MACHINES IN SCHOOLS

  3. Joe Blow
    Posted May 7, 2006 at 7:45 am | Permalink

    WriterDog Learns Correct Usage of the Word “Too”

  4. LeftHook
    Posted May 7, 2006 at 8:55 am | Permalink

    CIA CHIEF PORTER GOSS RESIGNS OVER PROSTITUTE SCANDAL

    Oops, sorry, . . . that one’s true.

  5. LeftHook
    Posted May 7, 2006 at 8:56 am | Permalink

    BILLIONS SPENT ON “WAR ON TERROR”–ONLY ONE TERRORIST BROUGHT TO JUSTICE

    Okay, that one is true too . . .

  6. General Santa Anna
    Posted May 7, 2006 at 1:38 pm | Permalink

    AMERICA UNANIMOUSLY VOTED AS MOST TYRRANICAL, TERRORIST COUNTRY WHICH HAS ABSOLUTELY NO REGARD FOR INTERNATIONAL LAW.>

  7. Ben Dover
    Posted May 7, 2006 at 3:45 pm | Permalink

    All the Kennedy’s sober.Yeah…right!!

  8. writerdog
    Posted May 10, 2006 at 7:41 am | Permalink

    Actually Joe Blow, I am aware of the correct using of the word “too” and the word “to“. But most do not and I was incorrectly corrected for the same misusing only in the reverse role. “Too” is a conjuncture, inclusive as in “I agree too” indicating that I am also in agreement. “To” is an addressee, as in “to whom it may concern” . These are the most common definitions of the using of these two words But as the majority do not make a distinction nor recognize the difference in the using of these two words. It is only confusing and a matter of contention to those that have a higher education and wish the world to recognize the time and money spent to achieve that higher education. So much so that they are willing to stop the world for the sole purpose of having other acknowledge their higher education and to admire their ability to discern minute details that would normally be of no interest to the majority at large.

    Be elated in that I admire your abilities too!