IMMIGRANT GROUPS WAVE CANADIAN FLAGS AT RALLIES; ‘We’re Still Trying to Get This Right,’ Admits Marcher
SCIENTISTS: FRED PHELPS MISSING LINK IN EVOLUTIONARY CHAIN; Cold-Blooded Preacher Related to Prehistoric Species of Reptile Once Thought Extinct
WSU OFFERS TURGEON $1 BILLION SALARY; As Long as He Agrees to Do No More Spangles Commercials
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WALMART ANNOUNCES SAME DAY SURGERY CENTERS IN SELECTED SUPERSTORES
Walmart spokesperson Walter Walker stated; “Our customers can spend their time more efficiently by shopping instead of hanging around the waiting room. And employees get 20% off. It’s our little part to help ease the health care crisis. “
BUSH ONLY U.S. PRESIDENT THAT CAN TIE HIS SHOELACES STANDING UP!! ( ASSUMING HE IS NOT STANDING ON HIS HANDS, AND THERE IS NO TIME LIMIT)
LSD FOUND IN WHITEHOUSE WATER SUPPLY. ADMINISTRATION SPOTTED SWATTING MINI-TERRORISTS OUT OF THE AIR.
BUSH HEARD TO YELL, “I JUST KILLED BIN-LADEN THREE TIMES.
CHENEY COUNTERS WITH, ‘NO YOU DIDN’T; I DID!” AND ATTEMPTS TO SWAT RUMSFED.
Mark Sturgeon files suit, claiming his half court shot really went in–it wasn’t a video fake–and demands a real new car.
Mark Turgeon goes to California to get biotech treatment to shrink himself and applies Fred Flinstone power to drive away in his new care. Expects his players to still respect him even though he’s only 4 inches tall.