Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from the Web site borowitzreport.com:

CHENEY INVITES HELEN THOMAS ON HUNTING TRIP; Effort to Reach Out to White House Press Corps, Observers Say

U.S. CONFUSES INSURGENTS WITH PRESCRIPTION DRUG PLAN; Military Launches ‘Operation Incomprehensible Program’ Across Iraq

INTERIOR SECRETARY QUITS, CITES ‘NO MORE ENVIRONMENT LEFT TO WRECK’; Norton Declares Mission Accomplished

PRESIDENT OF IRAN IS A ‘TOTAL WHACK JOB,’ SAYS KIM JONG IL; Recent Comments Make Iranian Seem Like Madman, Madman Says

AVIAN FLU NOW MORE POPULAR THAN BUSH; Bird Pandemic Surges Ahead of President in Latest Poll

KEN LAY CLAIMS COCONUT FELL ON HEAD, CAUSING AMNESIA; Controversial ‘Gilligan Defense’ Makes Debut at Enron Trial

BAGHDAD BOB NAMED PENTAGON SPOKESMAN; Stunning Comeback for Former Iraqi Information Minister
Posted by Phillip Brownlee

12 Comments

  1. Ed Friedemann
    Posted March 24, 2006 at 8:58 am | Permalink

    Ed offered Prime Minster’s job in Israel, but says 10 billion a week is not enough, already.

  2. Ed Friedemann
    Posted March 24, 2006 at 9:09 am | Permalink

    GOVERNMENT OF BAGHDAD NOW CONTROLS OVER 200 SQUARE FEET

  3. A guy from up north
    Posted March 24, 2006 at 11:12 am | Permalink

    Bushytail administration proposes $2,000,000,000 for stem cell research

  4. Ed Friedemann
    Posted March 24, 2006 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

    VP SHOOTS BOLTON’S RUG..THINKS IT’S A SQUIRREL.

  5. gster
    Posted March 24, 2006 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

    BUSH CHEWS GUM!!!! WILL ATTEMPT TO WALK AT A LATER DATE AFTER MUCH PRACTICING. HOPES TO COMBINE BOTH ACTIONS SOME TIME LATER THIS YEAR!!!

  6. gster
    Posted March 24, 2006 at 1:26 pm | Permalink

    BUSH BUYS MAP,FUNNEL MIRROR AND FLASHLIGHT. DETERMINED TO FIND ASS AND PROVE CRITICS WRONG!!

  7. ID
    Posted March 24, 2006 at 8:41 pm | Permalink

    PARK CITY MAYOR RUNS FOR COUNTY COMMISSIONDenies love affair with BTK

  8. Darwin'sDisciple
    Posted March 24, 2006 at 9:21 pm | Permalink

    IF THE DEMOCRATS ARE COMPETENT TO FIGHT THE WAR ON TERROR: THEN I CAN SING ON AMERICAN IDOL. [Cheney really did say this]

    Simon Cowell receives a shotgun blast in the face after the coustic critic comments on VP’s singing ability

  9. Darwin'sDisciple
    Posted March 24, 2006 at 9:23 pm | Permalink

    . . .caustic critic comments. . .

  10. J M Walker
    Posted March 24, 2006 at 9:31 pm | Permalink

    VP CHENEY WINS AMERICAN IDOL CONTEST AFTER ALL THE OTHER CONTESTANTS ARE TRANSPORTED TO EMERGENCY ROOM WITH SHOTGUN PELLETS EMBEDDED IN VARIOUS PARTS OF THEIR UPPER BODIES.

    Cheney is heard commenting, “I though they were all pretty squirrelly.”

  11. Misty Dawn James
    Posted March 26, 2006 at 8:56 am | Permalink

    WSU wins NCAA Basketball

  12. LandShark
    Posted March 27, 2006 at 12:45 pm | Permalink

    BEARDED AND TURBINED GIRLSCOUTS SEEN SELLING COOKIES IN SUBURBAN WICHITA.

    Citizen, Julie, said she was suspicious when the varieties sold were called “Al Qaeda macaroons” and “Hamas Honeys”. FBI agents were said to be laughing too hard to comment.