There has been a lot of talk about how our society’s morals are in steep decline. So it was interesting to learn in The New York Times’ pop quiz on marriage that there are more long-term marriages today than in the past and that “aside from a huge spike in divorce after World War II, the divorce rates in the 1950s were higher than in any previous decade aside from the Depression.” The quiz — which included a lot of surprising answers — also noted that divorce rates have fallen by more than 25 percent since 1981. Of course, marriage rates have also declined.
Posted by Melissa Cooley
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30 Comments
Good post Melissa. Kinda puts a bit of a damper on all those claims that we horrible liberals are destroying marriage.
Of course, I have to admit that I don’t know nearly as much about marriage as these right-wing paragons of virtue like Limbaugh and Gingrich. I’ve only been married once – and still am!
Oh well, If you can’t find a problem to have a war on (with yourself as the highly paid general) You just have to get busy and invent one!
Marriage is a great institution. I only wish that I were a Mormon so I could have 5 or 6 more wives and another 20 or 30 kinder!
Viva La Raza Blanco!!
Ian,Good luck finding that many stupid enough women in America!
Ian, there’s nothing stopping you from converting to Mormon. That said, be careful what you wish for. 5 or 6 more wives? Sounds like hell on earth to me.
I believe the success in Marriage is that people are waiting longer to get married.
But isn’t marriage invented by government (clergy in the past) as a way for society to control men? (not a joke).
See, marriage IS still sacred. That’s why we need to stop the gays from storming into married couples homes, holding them at gunpoint, and forcing them to divorce/committ adultery.Not to mention those gays who made Britney Spears and what’s-his-face get married in Vegas for 24 hours. They didn’t tell you that, the liberal media. It was gays, all gays!Oh, and it was gays that made Rush go through three wives. He’s a man with good family values: don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
What is the divorce rate now? About 40%? I’m not exactly sure. I still think it’s too high…when you have people entering into marriage with the thought “if it doesn’t work out, I can always get a divorce” (a lot of my coworkers had this attitude), it will always be an easy out. A lot of people just cut and run when things get tough, so sad.
The divorce rate amongst mixed-race couples is 70%+ so…oh never mind! rotflmosrfao
Viva La Raza Blanco!!
I read somewhere that class differences can cause a higher incidence of divorce, not race differences. I think I also remember reading that people with different religious backgrounds are less likely to get married, but more likely to stay together if they do get married. I found that interesting.Race differences? 70%? Need I even ask for a source, or will you just rotflmosrfao at me?
The sanctity of marriage in the Western context was compromised when people chose to view marriage as contractual rather than covenantal.
I think a sucessful marriage is based more on commitment than compatability. If two people are really committed to making their marriage work, they can get through anything. Unfortunately, so many people have this unrealistic, romanticized idea of what a relationship should be like and that it’s sole purpose is to meet THEIR needs, setting themselves up for disappointment and failure from the beginning. I think this is one reason why the divorce rate is still so high, the lack of commitment, especially when life gets tough, which it eventually does.
Damoon,Thanks, that was well said.
In Oct. it will be thirty years…Ask me in another thirty how a marriage can work out.
It’ll be 35 for me in May! Hopefully we’ll have another 35!
Writerdog/Damoon,CONGRATS!! I wish you both many more years of marital bliss.Reminds me of the story of an old woman on her death bed. She had a shoebox in her closet that she made her husband of many many years promise to never to look in. She finally relented and let her husband look in the box, in it was 2 handmade dolls and $2600 . He asked what that was about. She told him that as a newlywed her grandmother passed on some sage advise, never argue with your husband. When you are mad at him, sit down and crochet a doll. The husband was touched, she’d made 2 dolls. He then asked what the money was for to which the reply was, that was the money from selling all the dolls.
Right on Damoon!
I couldn’t agree with you more on this.
Damoon – June for us to hit 35 … my wife is a Saint ’cause it sure as heck ain’t me!
;^)
My little strudel and I have been married for thirteen wonderful years now.
V.L.R.B!!
BH, Ian,
Congrats.
I guess marriage is ok if you’re into that kind of abuse, lol! I’ll take independence any day.
As a famous family said:
I go where where I want to go,Say what I want to say,Do what I want to do,Play what I want to play.
…The Adams Fam-il-ee!
duh nuh nuh nuh. tsk tskduh nuh nuh nuh.duh nuh nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh nuh,duh nuh nuh nuh.
Julie, that’s great! I remember what Joyce Brothers once said, “I would never consider divorce, murder maybe, but not divorce!”
CruX,right you are! I don’t know why that stuck with me. One of these days, I’ll have to tell you the one about the Westinghouse Warranty, lol.
CruX,When was marriage ever covenantal? Before it was contractual, wives were simply chattal.
CruX – contractural vs covenental. That is why I advocate separating the functions: State contract and church blessing. Render unto Caeser that which is caeser’s and unto God that which is God’s. Thus a person would become LEGALLY “unioned” and then, if he/she so desires, consecrate it in the Church of their choice.
Damoon, I enjoyed your post. You are so right about commitment.
Ian, although I think you are a total ass, I am glad that you have someone in your life who can tolerate you. It just goes to show you that their is someone for everyone… be kind to her. I doubt anyone else would ever want you.
Another thing I’ve learned in years of helping people with their relationships is that the marriage must be the cornerstone of the family, not the children. If a family is exclusively “child centered”, then the marriage suffers and the kids can often become selfish, narcissistic, and unable to maintain healthy relationships of their own. When a couple is able to make their marriage relationship the priority, then not only does the relationship flourish, but the kids are usually happier and feel much more grounded and secure. They also learn what a healthy relationship is because of the role modeling that takes place from their parents. It also makes it easier for the parents to adjust when the kids leave home, because their relationship is strong and they can lean on each other. Parents who have a loving, healthy marriage often enjoy the fact that the kids are gone and they’re finally alone together (again!!).
Damoon –Another great post! I worked with a woman whose marriage was entirely based on the children. Everything they did centered around the children. The kids graduated from high school, went away to college, and the marriage couldn’t survive. They didn’t know what to do with one another.
I know that my husband and I feel like honeymooners again since the kids took off!We always enjoy them when they visit, but we secretly shout for joy when they leave. As for the grandkids, that’s different, they rule the roost when they’re here!