Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from the Web site borowitzreport.com:

HALLIBURTON WINS CONTRACT TO RECONSTRUCT CHENEY’S REPUTATION; At $42 Billion, Largest Contract of its Kind, Company Says

ATHLETE WITHOUT COMPELLING PERSONAL DRAMA EXPELLED FROM OLYMPICS; Skier Concealed Adversity-Free Past From Officials, NBC

WITH SWEEPS UNDER WAY, NETWORKS ASK RUNAWAY BRIDE TO RUN AWAY AGAIN; Ratings-Hungry News Nets Make $1 Million Offer to Wilbanks

CHENEY ‘STILL WAITING’ FOR IRAQIS TO APOLOGIZE; Calls Invasion of Iraq ‘The Worst Day of My Life’

MICHAEL BROWN NAMED SECRETARY OF DEFENSIVENESS; Stunning Comeback for Former FEMA Chief

U.S. OFFERS TO RELOCATE INSURGENTS TO IRAN; ‘Keep Doing What You’re Doing’ Next Door, Rumsfeld Says
Posted by Phillip Brownlee