The following satirical headlines come from the Web site borowitzreport.com:
HALLIBURTON WINS CONTRACT TO RECONSTRUCT CHENEY’S REPUTATION; At $42 Billion, Largest Contract of its Kind, Company Says
ATHLETE WITHOUT COMPELLING PERSONAL DRAMA EXPELLED FROM OLYMPICS; Skier Concealed Adversity-Free Past From Officials, NBC
WITH SWEEPS UNDER WAY, NETWORKS ASK RUNAWAY BRIDE TO RUN AWAY AGAIN; Ratings-Hungry News Nets Make $1 Million Offer to Wilbanks
CHENEY ‘STILL WAITING’ FOR IRAQIS TO APOLOGIZE; Calls Invasion of Iraq ‘The Worst Day of My Life’
MICHAEL BROWN NAMED SECRETARY OF DEFENSIVENESS; Stunning Comeback for Former FEMA Chief
U.S. OFFERS TO RELOCATE INSURGENTS TO IRAN; ‘Keep Doing What You’re Doing’ Next Door, Rumsfeld Says
Posted by Phillip Brownlee
