If criminals were smart, they wouldn’t be criminals

Police arrested a Great Bend man and woman Saturday in connection with a string of robberies at Wichita tanning salons. Not only were the alleged robbers dumb to think that tanning salons would have much cash, but their robbery spree started Friday and continued Saturday. As a result, when they showed up at the fifth tanning salon Saturday afternoon, the employees were on the lookout and called police. The alleged robbers can’t even blame their lack of brain cells on having spent too much time under ultraviolet lights; police said they didn’t have tans.
Posted by Phillip Brownlee

18 Comments

  1. ProudLiberal
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 10:19 am | Permalink

    All the really smart criminals work in the Bush administration.

  2. ""Rage
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 11:10 am | Permalink

    I see PL kinda beat me to it. . .

  3. ProudLiberal
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 12:00 pm | Permalink

    My ancestors were Amish and they have this tradition of “shunning.”

    I hearby pronounce Ian Santiago SHUNNED. No matter what outrageous thing he posts, let’s not respond to him in any way.

    Don’t read him, don’t respond to him. Act like he doesn’t exist.

  4. Galajad
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

    Gee Moron, I hope the same works on you. ProudLiberal gives the rest of the left-wing a black-eye. You actually write about shunning someone after you write songs about how your opponents have:

    small brainsare virginssmall peniswork menial jobs

    You have some nerve jerk. Learn to discuss issues like a reasonable human being and we just might win a convert to our shared cause.

  5. Steven E.
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

    I second, third . . . PL’s motion

  6. kansassam
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 12:29 pm | Permalink

    First time I ever heard a liberal refer to the Bush administration as “smart”… even if it was in reference to criminal activity! LOL!!

  7. ProudLiberal
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 12:29 pm | Permalink

    Okay, Galajad, is SHUNNED too.

  8. Jed
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 12:59 pm | Permalink

    Sam,Bush, of course, is dumber than a stump, but he’s got some pretty cagey bastards in his administration. Just who’s working for whom is a question we’d all like the answer to!

  9. Mephysto
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 4:06 pm | Permalink

    If a tree falls in the forest and none witness it’s fall, what sound, if any did it make? If a fool raves and none grace his foppery with response, does he exist as anything but a fleeting annoyance? Listen for the sound of sweet reason. Let not the nave blight true meaning.

  10. anon
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 4:33 pm | Permalink

    Huh? What part of the article about stupid thieves in Wichita have to do with politics?

    Seems the stupid people are the ones that turn everything into a mindless political attack.

  11. Damoon
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 6:27 pm | Permalink

    I love stupid criminal stories. My favorite was the guy who held up the quicktrip, and in the process, was also taking a sixpack. The clerk gave him the money in the register, then asked him for his ID because he didn’t believe he was old enough to have the beer. The guy actually showed the clerk his ID!

  12. codie
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 6:58 pm | Permalink

    Yep Jed. Bush is dumb. He barely make better grades than Kerry.

  13. mrcontroversy
    Posted January 4, 2006 at 11:56 pm | Permalink

    Damoon,Do you remember the holdup at the Tiki Lounge in 1994?Two men went into the bar, demanding money. There was no money in the register.The two would be robbers decided to stick around and rob anyone coming in to the bar. In the meantime, they forced the bartender to serve them drinks.They passed out, the bartender called police, and they were arrested when they woke up.

  14. Rage
    Posted January 5, 2006 at 1:31 am | Permalink

    There was a guy who robbed a motel in Wichita in late 80’s. He was arrested, identified, and jailed.

    When he got out on bail, he went back and robbed the same motel. . . and the same clerk.

    Honest to Baal, I could even name the clerk. First-hand account.

  15. Rage
    Posted January 5, 2006 at 1:32 am | Permalink

    Forgot the punchline: his last name was “Smart.”

  16. anon
    Posted January 5, 2006 at 7:22 am | Permalink

    check out http://www.dumbcriminals.com. Funny stuff…and no, no political blaming at all.

  17. Damoon
    Posted January 5, 2006 at 8:27 pm | Permalink

    There was another guy who decided to rob a Quicktrip, but he forgot to change out of his work shirt first, and it had the name of the company where he worked on the back and his name stitched over the pocket.

  18. Ben Huie
    Posted January 5, 2006 at 9:18 pm | Permalink

    I remember reading about one who robbed a bank using a note on the back of a deposit slip – HIS!