The following satirical headlines come from the Web Site borowitzreport.com:
BRAD AND ANGELINA’S BABY NAMED SEXIEST FETUS ALIVE; Early Ultrasound Reveals Uber-hot Tot
ALITO SAYS HE HAS NO AGENDA BOOK; Senate Democrats Skeptical of Judge’s Latest Claim
PAT ROBERTSON: SATAN CAUSED CHENEY’S SHORTNESS OF BREATH; Devil Laid Veep Low, Evangelist Says
INDECIPHERABLE CHATTER TURNS OUT TO BE BUSH; Setback for Domestic Spying Program
RETURNED ABRAMOFF DONATIONS ERASE NATIONAL DEBT; Lawmakers Scramble to Shed Trillions in Tainted Cash
Posted by Phillip Brownlee

7 Comments
PAT ROBERTSON: ” THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT ”
Later Robertson disclosed that the Devil has been making him do things ever since he can remember.
ALITO CONFIRMED 111-0Related story: Some senators declared ‘enemy combatants’ Page 14E
BIDEN TALKS HIMSELF INTO A CORNER. CALLS ON SENATE SECURITY TO ARREST CORNER.In related story, senate Democrats call for expulsion of all corners.
SAMUEL ALITO ANSWERS ‘YES / NO’ QUESTIONS USING THE WORDS ‘YES’ / ‘NO.’
WAR ON TERRORISM ENDS.. US TO STOP TERRORIZING
Israel agrees to stop making “terrorists”
Bush agrees to stop calling Iraqi insurgents “terrorists”
TIMES SQUARE: IT’S OVER
PUBLIC FINDS OUT BUDDY HAS BEEN IN THE BASEMENT FOR EIGHT YEARS
McCormick Joins The Staff of RegretTheError.com
ISRAELI FOUND WITH CONSCIENCE
HANGED IMMEIATLY
HOPEFULLY ISOLATED CASE