There was a timely article in USA Today this week about the decline of the custom of sending formal “thank you” notes for wedding gifts, birthdays and other occasions. The article cited a newlywed couple who sent out a mass e-mail expressing generic thanks. The etiquette experts shudder. But as the article noted, many Americans simply don’t send any kind of “thank you.”
The trend is blamed on the hectic pace of modern life, an increasingly informal culture and even the mechanized nature of gift-giving registries, etc. — none of which, of course, is sufficient excuse for bad manners.
If you can read this article without a sharp pang of guilt, good for you. I couldn’t.
Have you noticed this trend? Are we becoming a rude, ungrateful people? What do you think?
Posted by Randy Scholfield
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8 Comments
Too many people today have a total disregard for manners. I get so sick of listening to “gansta rap” played so loud it almost blows out my ears when I’m trying to fill up my car, listening to kids who think nothing of using obscene language in front of 70 yr old ladies, little ones allowed to scream, yell, and run wild in restaurants, or people who put bumper stickers on their cars showing “Calvin” peeing on something. I could go on forever. Mostly it’s the consequence of inadequate or non existant parenting. Many parents today are lousy role models and won’t make the effort to teach or discipline their kids, it’s no wonder so many young people don’t have a clue how to act.Not saying “Thank you” is just the tip of the iceburg.
Dittos Damoon!
I enjoyed your editorial in the paper today. You are so right!!
I remember as a child I HATED writing those dreadful thank you cards, but my grandmother sat me down and forced me to. That being reinforced in my head I still write thank you notes and my mom-in-law pulled me aside and told me how much she appreciates it. My stepson is a lost cause and I don’t force that issue (that’s another bit entirely) but I do sit down with my daughter (age 2)and I write the words and she colors on the cards, and yes, as she gets old enough to write, she will be writing her own.I don’t use the expensive embossed stationery but I do buy the cheapies or make my own.
Da,I talked, a few years ago with a woman in her 90’s, who told me about how she outraged her parents by bobbing her hair and wearing short dresses and unfastened rubber galoshes and doing the Charleston to Jazz! Made me think about my generation’s long hair, political slogans and pot smoking, and my kids and grandkids tattoos and piercings.Each generation has found a way to differentiate itself from the previous generations for time out of mind, mostly by exciting outrage. It’s not personal, it’s just human nature. Give them a little time, and they’ll find their place; after all, you did!
There are serious regional differences when it comes to manners. People from the northeast don’t understand the concept, lol. My roots are southern and when I was a kid, manners were a major part of your upbringing. I remember when we moved to Kansas how my sisters and I were ridiculed for addressing our elders as “mam” and “sir”. To this day, I address my parents that way. I always open the door for a lady, seat a lady, and rise when a lady leaves the table. I get a lot of weird looks.
Cudos to you, XXX!
Jed, I see manners seriously lacking even among 30 and 40 yr olds. Being thoughtful and showing consideration to others is just the right thing to do, even if you are a long haired, pot smoking, political slogan spouting hippie. If some kid has tatoos and piercings, he/she can still be considerate and polite to others…no excuses.
Thanks for the reminder, Randy. I’ll want to get that thank-you I’ve forgotten to write in the mail before the price of stamps goes up.
cheap…cheap…cheap