Don’t reduce pool of adoptive parents for no reason

Good for state Rep. Willa DeCastro, R-Wichita, for giving the idea of barring gays and lesbians from adopting foster children the attention it deserved this week in her interim Joint Committee on Children’s Issues — which was none. “It will not be coming out of this committee,” she said Wednesday, after suggesting earlier that it might come up as part of a larger discussion of adoption. Her reticence makes sense, as there has been no indication of any problems with adoptive parents who are homosexual. Besides, with kids in foster care averaging 4,500 a month, Kansas needs all the caring adoptive parents it can get. Wish other lawmakers could be counted on to keep that in mind next year, and similarly keep a gay adoption ban off the full Legislature’s agenda.
Posted by Rhonda Holman

9 Comments

  1. Sum1
    Posted September 16, 2005 at 4:42 am | Permalink

    This is good news. There are too many children out there that need a good loving home.People who are afraid a homosexual couple will raise a homosexual child miss their own hypocrisy.The homosexual adoptive parent was most likely raised by a heterosexual couple.A person where I work even had this tidbit to explain their position. It might be alright to have two women raise a child, but two men? At this point they shudder.Why would two women be okay, but two men wouldnt’ be acceptable?

  2. XXX
    Posted September 16, 2005 at 5:58 am | Permalink

    They’ll just save this issue till closer to the 08 elections when it will magically reapear to stir up and turn out the base. In Kansas, all you gotta do is say the word “Gay”, and our hard-core religious right is up off the couch and headed for the polls. They may not understand the issues, but they know about gay by golly!

  3. Ray Thomas
    Posted September 16, 2005 at 7:50 am | Permalink

    Representative DeCastro showed a lot of courage in her rational and well thought out action. The need for adoptive parents is huge, and she will suffer the wrath of the “holier than everyone” religious nuts.Good for her for standing up for the ones who need it the most, the kids in need of adoptive parents.

  4. Joe Williams
    Posted September 16, 2005 at 8:15 am | Permalink

    The Legislative session hasn’t started yet. I will wonder if she can stand up to the pressure that will come next year.

  5. VC
    Posted September 16, 2005 at 10:11 am | Permalink

    I have friends that are a gay (male) couple that recently adopted two african american boys (brothers)under the age of five. They actually beat out another couple (black and heterosexual) who were also interested in adopoting them. The reason that they were chosen was because their relationship was stable unlike their competitors and they were both secure finacially and could offer a very stable, loving home environment to the boys.

    If this law were to pass my friends wouldn’t have even been considered in this adoption. That would have been a travesty to all involved.

    This law would not keep gays from having children – they would simply use other means to have them – my friends could certainly have afforded to hire a surrogate to have a child for them.

    The foster care system is over loaded with negelected children who are simply looking for someone to love them and gay parents are certainly capable of that.

  6. Jed
    Posted September 16, 2005 at 10:51 am | Permalink

    Good one VC,Couple years ago, I met a lesbian couple who had adopted six special-needs children. Even with their extensive problems, and the medical procedures that go along with them, these were supremely happy, loved and cared-for kids. They had one major problem though; they didn’t share the fundies pathological hatred of gays and lesbians!

  7. Judge Jones
    Posted September 16, 2005 at 3:14 pm | Permalink

    Homosexuals represent a quite small segment of the population – the latest CDC figures are here.

    http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/pubs/pubd/ad/361-370/ad362.htm

    So the “problem” of homosexual adoption can’t be huge. Also, what about the homosexuals and bisexuals who are married to the opposite sex? Do we imagine they also pose a “risk” of some kind?

    I was married to a lesbian once, though she didn’t tell me until long after the wedding. She wasn’t a great lover (for me, anyway), but she gave it a try, and she was a great friend. She finally gave up trying, told me, and we later divorced. Fortunately, there were no kids. I was a mess for a while, but still remember her as a great friend. She probably would have been a good parent, too.

    Can homosexuals make good adoptive parents? Sure, but it depends; and I wouldn’t pretend to know how to be sure of what is right in each case.

    Certainly, strongly heterosexual children will not be changed by living with homosexuals. But we have to realize that, even though they would probably learn to not fear other lifestyles, they might sometimes find the situation unsettling for purely natural reasons.

    Given the in-your-face sexuality of some homosexuals and lesbians, there is at least something valid in the concern that children in homosexual/lesbian homes could be exposed to behaviors that are inappropriate. I have seen overt homosexual and lesbian foster parents acting very strangely with children. It was difficult to watch, but I don’t know that it was “wrong”. I have also seen heterosexual parents abusing their kids in WalMart, and I know that was wrong.

    At a recent KCSL meeting, attended by about 75 social workers, a panel of adoptive parents talked about their experiences. One lesbian couple had adopted a 3-yr-old and they were showcased as a good example. It would have gone better if the 3-yr-old hadn’t repeatedly and insistently tugged at her adoptive parent’s dress in an obvious effort to get to her bosom, as if it were a perectly ordinary thing to do.

    Was this child acting out from pre-adoptive circumstances, or was it a sign of something wrong in the adoptive home? I don’t know, but it was too obvious and too unsettling to ignore.

    Being closer to these things than most people, I still don’t have any answers; but if mistakes are made, it seems better to err on the side of caution.

  8. Snidley Whiplash
    Posted September 16, 2005 at 4:06 pm | Permalink

    Some good points, Judge. But when a kid is screwed up, it’s hard to tell what caused it. There are so many screwed up kids out there. Maybe it’s the parent’s lifestyle, maybe it’s outside influences…you just don’t know. I know of messed up kids that come from good families as well as bad. And I know their peers can undo a lot of good parenting. Liberal though I may be, I think we blew it when we got an attitude about corpral punishment, but that’s a subject for a different blog. Still, I hate to see good parents turned away just because of sexual orientation. Could any family be better than no family?

  9. Sum1
    Posted September 16, 2005 at 5:51 pm | Permalink

    How can two people who care about the children and want to give them a good home be wrong?

    There are many heterosexual families that should never have children. Many are abused in the privacy of their homes. Some are abused and come to the notice of people.

    Come to think of it.. Many of the children that need to be adopted came from heterosexual parents. Many were taken away because those parents could not or would not take care of their children.

    In many heterosexual families they take great care of their children and they grow up knowing they are loved.

    Why shouldn’t a homosexual couple be given at least a chance to show they can be a parent.

    At the very least show they be the equivalent to the heterosexual parents?