WE Blog

I know some people think we editorial cartoonists have pretty cushy jobs. Heck, just read the news. Don’t these things practically draw themselves? Would that it were so. Recently I had a run-in with that notorious nemesis of cartoonists everywhere. You know what I’m talking about — facial hair. People, we are living in an age when facial hair can come and go with the slightest whim. Soul patches erupt. Sideburns unroll. Goatees butt from chins. Full beards luxuriate and then vanish without a word of warning. Something must be done. My day was ruined by a front-page picture of state Sen. Phil Journey in Thursday’s paper. He was brandishing a full beard again! Unless I am hallucinating (hey, no comments from you who daily think it so), Journey had shaved his longtime chin friend awhile back. I saw him with my own eyes, his face so smooth and naked I wanted to avert my eyes.
So I drew him that way in the cartoon that ran INSIDE THE VERY SAME PAPER ON WHICH A FRONT-PAGE PHOTO MADE ME INTO A CHUMP. His beard was back and thumbing its nose at me. That’s his smoothly cheeked self to the left. Naturally, when I worked up the toon for the next day’s paper, also about the Legislature, I sneaked him in again in hopes of redeeming myself in the eyes of the cartoon gods. But the damage was done, and I knew it was a hollow attempt. You see, drawing a caricature of someone and then finding out he has facial hair is like ordering chicken fingers and then finding out you could have had a Kansas City strip for the same price.
Here’s my feeble attempt to get him right, from Friday’s cartoon. I know what you’re thinking: "Why, in the name of all that’s righteous, didn’t you at least put his glasses on the first caricature?" It was, and I hope my boss isn’t reading this, another grievous error on my part. I went by his official photo as posted on his legislative Web site, in which he wears no glasses. Aaaigh. Plus, I had a "rough" of him that I had drawn months ago and stuffed in a desk drawer and completely forgot about. It would have saved my bacon.
Here’s what I should have drawn. My bad. But I have a solution. I am seeking sponsors for a Kansas constitutional amendment that reads: "No Kansas public figures of such stature that may give a cartoonist cause to need to caricature said figures, shall ever alter their appearance so that their likeness differs in any aspect from their official photo. They must provide a suitable image of themselves for cartooning purposes with accurate representation of any and all facial hair, glasses and tattoos, and shall not vary one iota from that image. Ever. And this even includes Kansas Supreme Court justices, who are forbidden from interpreting this amendment in any way that might be contrary to the wants and needs of the vital cartooning industry in this noble state. And it goes double for Kansas Board of Education members."
So, come on, you amendment-crazy legislators. Help me out here. Introduce this baby, and let’s make this state great again!
Posted by Richard Crowson