Bowling was fun last year, even though the season went on and on and on. For more than eight months. But it was fun. It was new; I hadn’t bowled in a league since my early 20s. I enjoyed meeting some new people.
The novelty has worn off. I would much rather be at home tonight watching Kansas State play Oklahoma State in Stillwater. Instead, I’m going to record that game and watch it after bowling and after I go to the YMCA, which I plan to do after bowling.
I’m a 160-average bowler. That’s it. I’m never going to be much better and I’ll only get worse. So today I am announcing my retirement from league bowling after the 2009 season. I vow never again to pick up a bowling ball and to turn my attention toward golf, another game in which I’m not very good but at least enjoy a lot more than bowling.
Golf is outdoors. Bowling, of course, is indoors. Golf courses are usually beautiful. Bowling alleys are usually . . . bowling alleys. Golf requires a lot of thinking. Bowling requires a lot of drinking. Golf is relaxing. Bowling is drudgery. Golf is something I anticipate. Bowling is something I dread.
I spent two years in a bowling league and I do appreciate all the people out there who love the sport and who are so good at it. There are people in my league who average 220 and above. It’s amazing to watch them. But I do wonder, just a little bit, what thrill they’re getting out of the repetition of bowling. It is a very good social game; all the hand slapping and back-patting after a strike or a spare. But when I don’t get a strike or a spare, I get really angry. And getting really angry about bowling seems pretty childish to me. Yet I can’t seem to shake the disappointment/rage I feel when I screw up at bowling.
So this is it. In just a few more weeks, I’ll store my bowling ball and shoes in a closet somewhere and, within a few weeks, probably forget I own them. I’ll go to Golf Warehouse and look for a new set of irons and dedicate my spring and summer to trying to get just a little bit better at that game. Doing so will require practice, which is a problem. I love to play golf; I don’t particularly care about going to a golf course and hitting balls off the practice tee.
But I’m going to be better about that this year. Without bowling to tie me down, I’ll feel like a new man.