K-Stated

First of all, Tiffany is true believer in Mr. Claus. She noticed that everyone in the house had a Christmas stocking (or, as she calls it, a Christmas “sock”) but her Mommy, and this really bothered her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that the true reason I didn’t have a stocking is because I am the “mystery stocking stuffer.” I didn’t realize how much it bothered her until I got up on Christmas Eve and saw her solution for what seemed to be her biggest problem of the season. She actually got one of her socks that she had on the day before and tucked it in the grids above the fireplace! Now that was even funnier than the never-ending Christmas tree. I still get a chuckle when I think back on it.

I was one of the few people in Manhattan (outside of retail, of course) who had to drag my sleep deprived body in to the office for work, so that left little time to prepare for those last-minutes surprises for the upcoming festivities. Poor Calvin had just come in from an eight-day road trip for work and I immediately dragged him out to the kiosk that was going on in EVERY store in the area. He was good about not putting up a fuss. Maybe it was because he knows that when he’s on the road, I’m home with his “little GUMDROP” a.k.a. Ms. Tiffany. All in all, the stores were just like I expected – you just have to have a game plan which gets you in and out of the store in one piece, which means you may have to keep an eye out for the folks that you may run into who will talk your head off until New Year’s and head in the opposite direction. That’s it and that’s all!

Normally we would spend Christmas Eve at my sister Mona’s house with friends and family, where everyone always wanted to participate in our famous gift exchange, where you could get something very nice or you could end up with something that would make you re-think the whole Christmas thing. Like the time I opened up a beautifully decorated Nordstrom’s box only to find a plate of old chicken bones that Mona had eaten earlier in the day. Yuck! Even though it sounds disgusting, which most times it was, we couldn’t wait to play year after year. This year we obviously couldn’t continue our traditional family gathering but we had a great time with a few of our new-found friends and their family, who invited us over for dinner – minus the gag gifts of course. We had such a good time just being around people who weren’t plotting to see who could come up with the worst gift, and the food was so good that I’m still thinking about it.

After arriving back home, we decided to open presents. Now you see, I have some VERY nosy kids and they try to shake and feel presents that are under the tree with their names on them, so a few years ago I starting writing one kid’s name on another kid’s present. That was always funny because I would never remember whose gift was actually in the box until it was opened – one year Malik opened one of Mychaela’s boxes from Victoria’s Secret and was very unhappy, to say the least. This year, since two of my roommates where M.I.A., I changed things up a little to keep some of the excitement (for me, any way) that we had at Mona’s in the previous years by purposely giving everyone someone else’s gift. The looks on their faces were priceless! They had all turned in their letters to Santa (except Lil’ Mike) so I could have an idea as to what they would like and it worked like a charm.

Mychaela asked for a trip back east and a digital camera, and if she could only have one she’d rather be packing her bags. So when she opened her boxes and found shoes and clothes with miniature personal hygiene items stuffed in her Christmas “sock,” she had a look on her face that screamed, “Is this it?!”

Dymond asked old St. Nick for the new SideKick LX in the “nifty” blue color, which is precisely how he described it to Santa… And he had the same look on his face as Mychaela when he opened up a new digital camera in the “nifty” bronze color. The only difference was that he said “thank you” and sounded genuine, unlike Mychaela.

Calvin has been eyeing a cigar travel bar made by Max Benjamin which was advertised in the Cigar Aficionado magazine, and when I tossed him a gift card holder that was definitely too small to hold anything related to a cigar except for maybe a lighter I observed that same old expression that I received a few minutes prior. He didn’t know that he was holding the second part of Mychaela’s gift and he obviously didn’t know that the gift left under tree marked “Malik” was really for him.

All eyes where on little Miss Tiffany as she rushed to open her carefully wrapped gift. Everyone knew Santa wouldn’t disappoint the little girl who not only wrote a letter (with Malik’s help) but also actually made a phone call to the “Big Guy” to request a Dora toy and a make-up kit. After she opened the Dora toy, she raced to open gift No. 2, which is when every one started to get suspicious and figure things out. Once she tore into the second box, she revealed a “nifty” blue Sidekick LX. She knew what it was from observing the boys from the basketball team use theirs. She screamed with delight and said, “Thank you, Santa!” Dymond immediately yelled, “Hey, I asked for that!” Tiffany yelled back, “No, this is mine!” That’s when the big swapping session began and every one got what he or she wanted except for Dymond. Once Tiffany saw the Barbie Power Wheel Jeep that was brought upstairs that was hidden in the back room of basement for the last week, Dymond practically had to dive for the box that she tossed in the air before it hit the ground.

Even though I wasn’t able to be with Mona and the gang this year I still found a way to pull pranks on roommates and it was just as fun… I wish I had a video camera.

Unfortunately, Malik was on the West Coast and Lil’ Mike was on the East Coast during this time and was not able participate in my new game, but Lil’ Mike will be home tonight. After he gives me his letter to Mr. Claus, I will give him a perfectly wrapped box full of underclothes and socks and a real lump of coal that I got from a co-worker’s dad (thanks Hanna) just to see the look on his face. Don’t worry – he got something that he’s really going to appreciate, I hope. I just can’t reveal it now since he doesn’t know but if you really want to know what it is, just ask him the next time you see him. In addition, when Malik returns home he’ll be sure to get the same style of prank.

Hmmm, I wonder if Lil’ Mike’s love for pranks is hereditary or not.