Category Archives: Archuleta worship

Final four jitters

May 6, 20089:47 p.m.

Brooke White is gone, but apparently her soul-crushing, bone-shaking stage fright stayed behind and leapt, Oda Mae style, right into the body of Jason Castro.

Freed from the bonds of Andrew Lloyd Weber and Neil Diamond, Jason was free to choose practically any old song he wanted from the Rock-N-Roll Hall of Fame library. So he chose (”go figure,” and I’m quoting the singer himself) Bob Marley and Bob Dylan. And he massacred ‘em.

On the first song, “I Shot the Sheriff,” Jason overplayed it, obviously caving momentarily to the judges’ suggestion that he “bring it,” or at least bring SOMETHING different to the stage. The result was a messy, off-tune, uncomfortable mess of poor Jason Castro trying too hard.  Song two, “Mr. Tambourine Man,” would have been better if Jason  — perhaps shaken by Simon’s first-round tongue lashing — hadn’t lost an entire line of lyrics. Or four.

And so, sadly, I think Simon’s advice was accurate — pack your bags, Jason, because top four is as far as you’re going. I do love him, and I will miss him. But I don’t get the feeling he’s really all that into it anymore, anyway. Maybe this is as much exposure as he thought he needed, and now he’s off to bigger, dread-ier things.

Jason really is toast, I fear, because the evictee of choice — Syesha Mercado — actually did “bring it” on Tuesday. Her “Proud Mary” was pretty believable, and her “A Change Is Gonna Come” was pretty moving … that is, after I recovered from her comparing her “Idol” journey to the CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT. By the way, love her sleek, sleek new do — even though I’m pro-curls.

David Cook was good as usual, but I agree with Randy. Something wasn’t quite on. He wasn’t bad, with his “Hungry Like the Wolf” and markedly better “Baba O’Riley.” He’s not in danger, but he needs to — well, “bring it,” next week.

And as for David A., well, what can I say? I renew my previous objections to his safe, vanilla always-the-same performances and the judges’ subsequent salivation over said safe performances. Although I thought his “Love Me Tender” was better than most of his past songs, I still wasn’t blown away. In fact, I can’t remember much at all about his “Stand By Me.” I was thinking about something else.

So what do you think? Was Paula particularly coherent tonight? Isn’t her hair looking pretty fab these days? And does Jason have any hope at all?

By Denise | Filed under Archuleta worship, Top 12 | Comments (31)

THIS… is Archuleta Idol

Feb. 26, 200810:26 p.m.

Apparently, we all are wasting our time with “American Idol” this season, and not just because we’re all — deep down in our hearts — just a tad bit sick and tired of it.

No, the reason we are wasting our time is because, according to the judges, sweet little David Archuleta has it all wrapped up. His show-closing performance of “Imagine” was so dern moving, Randy summonsed the fire department, Simon declared it all but over, and a weepy, visibly snotty Paula wondered aloud if she could possibly “squish you, squeeze your head off and dangle you from my rear-view mirror.” Yes, aloud.

Sweetie Pie’s rendition of (the third verse of) “Imagine” was quite nice, I’ll admit, and though it didn’t make me want to squish, squeeze, or dangle anything, it was certainly the best of the night. The kid’s got a future, even if it’s a Josh Groban kind of future. Plus, he entertains me. I love that little “aw shucks aw geeze aw golly” thing he does when he’s being showered with praise. It seems genuine, and it’s cute. And squishy.

As for the rest of the male finalists, well…

Really only a few stood out on Tuesday, and they were kind of surprises. After boring us to death last week, David Hernandez cartwheeled his way to the front of the pack with an entertaining and in-control version of “Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone.” Who WAS that guy, and where was he last week? Also fairly awesome was good ole Chikezie, who helped his cause with a casually cool outfit and a song that guarantees Simon won’t be calling him jacuzzi again anytime soon. Or Stevie.

I wasn’t as offended by Jason Castro’s performance of “I Just Want to Be Your Everything” as the judges were. But he’s going to have to find a solution for his interview awkwardness… and fast. I’ll also admit that Danny Noriega was much better than last week, though I still have a little trouble taking him seriously. He’s just so, so, HELLo!

The rest of the guys were unremarkable, even last week’s leader and established pro Michael Johns, who delivered an uninspired and slightly off key version of “Go Your Own Way.” The guy looks totally blazing hot quite nice doing it though, so, carry on.

And now for the dudes I don’t care if I ever see again, and really sort of wish I didn’t have to because this thing would sure get moving a lot more quickly: Luke Menard (too flimsy), Robbie Carrico (too distracting), Jason Yeager (too earnest, and also too awful) and David Cook (too vocab geek.)

So what do you think? Was David Archuleta really all that? Do we need to deduct points for his embarrassing hotel lobby vocal assault of Kelly Clarkson? And which of these two doods needs to be shown the door on Thursday?

By Denise | Filed under Archuleta worship, The men | Comments (12)