Phil Stacey's Idol Thoughts

…well, most of them.

Hello, all. I missed you last week but was thrilled with Monica’s level of “Idol” blogging ability. If Simon had been judging her effort, he might have said something like this:

“Well, Monica, it was all a bit old fashioned for me, sort of like a cabaret singer at a theme park on a cruise ship, but it was much better than last week. MUCH! I’m just being honest. What? You didn’t write the blog last week?? Well, that explains it.”

And Paula would have said:

“Monica, you, the colors of the range of your words… Monica, you’re just so. You’re so Monica. You’re so you. And that’s why you’re you and all your colors and when you wrote that you really, you colored my textures cuz you’re you. And you’re great.”

Monica, this is my long-winded way of saying, “THANKS DAWG!”

And now if you’d allow me one more word about last week before we move on to this week, it would be this: AMANDA?!?! GONE?!?!?!? WHEN I’M NOT HERE TO SAVOR IT?!?!?! Not fair!!

I must say, though, without Her Royal Rockin’ Awkwardness on stage stinking things up, the final contestants came across as a pretty talented bunch. For the first time this whole season, I actually started to buy all that “It’s the most talented group we’ve ever had!” hype.

This week, though, didn’t do much to change my mind about any of the contestants.

I still love Brooke White and Jason Castro. These two have been my favorites since the beginning because they both have such an easy presence on the stage. Performing comes naturally to them. They never seem like they’re trying too hard. They never struggle to hit the notes. They’re never boring. Despite Brooke’s “Oops she started it again” mistake on “Every Breath You Take” and Jason’s too-safe performance of “Fragile,” they both still led the pack as far as I’m concerned. Or maybe I just like Sting.

I still continue to be amazed by David Cook, who wins this season’s Blake Lewis award for taking risks that always pay off. Although he didn’t come up with that rockin’ arrangement of “Billie Jean,” he certainly seemed to make Paula, Randy, Simon and the audience think he did. He’s highly watchable, despite his Pike’s Peak of a forehead. (His description, not mine.)

I still am rooting for Chikezie, because he’s so lovable and also because he’s shown great potential to challenge David Cook in the originality category. Sadly, every other week, he bores us to tears with old fashioned R&B snoozers like “If Only For One Night.” Ditto Syesha Mercado, who has a beautiful voice but who somehow bores me all the same.

I’m still confused by Carly Smithson, who I think I’m supposed to like, really feel I should like, but try as I might, just can’t get excited about. Though I do love me a little Bonnie Tyler on a Tuesday night. Turn around bright eyes INDEED!

I’m still unsure about Michael Johns, who seems slightly brain dead on stage but who sorta lit a fire under “We Are the Champions.” Plus, he gets extra points for having the common decency to have been born in the 1970s. Thank you, Michael. I was getting suicidal there for a bit.

I’m also still unsure about David Archuleta. He’s sweet and talented but sometimes gives me the heebies. This week, said heebies were produced by the gag-o-rific “Up With People” tune he sang. What WAS that?

And finally, I’m still more sure than ever that Kristy Lee Cook and Ramiele Malubay have to go. Though she obviously has a good voice, Ramiele hasn’t delivered a single solid performance all season. Those high notes on “Alone?” Well, let’s just say I’ve delivered those EXACT notes alone in my car a gazillion times. And I can’t sing. At all.

And as for Kristy, I’m not sure what “Team America” cigarettes the judges were smoking, but I never, ever in my worst 1980s nightmare dreamed I’d hear an “American Idol” contestant cover Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the U.S.A.” In fact, I was pretty sure it was just a very bad dream until that signature cymbal crash (”And I’d gladly stand up……… CRASH! ……next to you and defend her still today) woke me up. Leave that song in the Crown Uptown Christmas revue where it belongs. And leave Kristy Lee in the spot Simon predicted long ago she’d finish — 10th.

So what did you think? Who stole Randy’s bicycle before the show? Do you love the word “ghastly” as much as Simon and I do? And who will go on Wednesday?

Note: Denise is on vacation. This week’s Idol commentary is provided by guest blogger Monica.

Was it just me or did this show go on…and on…and on? I am a Beatles fan, and will even admit I am old enough to remember watching their first appearance on Ed Sullivan. So I don’t much like the melodies being reworked. And I didn’t like much of what I saw tonight, including Simon in his too-tight muscle shirt. That may explain why he seemed grumpier than usual.

If I had to name a best performance, I would have to go with Carly Smithson. And as you all know she is not a favorite of mine, so you know how disappointed I was in the show tonight. For once she sang something but loud, at least at first, although she reverted to loud at the end. My second favorite was the hottie in disguise, David Cook. I didn’t get that voice box thing in the middle. I thought his microphone went out! But otherwise, I liked his version of Daytripper. My tie for third will go to Brooke and Jason. Both of them seemed too self-conscious of their performance for the first time, and to me that took away a lot of the charm and grace they had in earlier performances. Still, I was smiling all through both of their songs and not just waiting for them to end.

And no, I’m not forgetting David the golden boy. A sweet kid and he sings beautifully, but talk about a one trick pony. The minute he gets away from “really sensitive” songs, he has problems. His song had too many “oh oh oh” trill notes in it for me to call it, as Simon did, masterful. To me, he is as predictable as Amanda. I thought she did fine too, but not an earthshaking performance. It was interesting to see her show a bit more personality in interacting with the judges. And if Simon is as consistent as he has been this season, the minute she does sing a ballad, he will tell her to stick with what she does best.

The judges seemed taken by Syesha Mercado. With Randy and Simon, I suspect it was her decision to take advantage of her other gift, the cleavage. I can only think her low cut top was an effort to get more votes from men. She was fine singing Yesterday, but why did I think she was thinking as she sang: “Why did I have to blow my last performance so bad when the day before yesterday I was really hot stuff?” With that I finally realized why I don’t like her. She just thinks she is so hot!

I thought both Michael Johns’ and Chikezie’s arrangements were disjointed messes. I want Michael and Chikezie to do well but somehow (except for Chikezie last week) they always disappoint. I must agree though, that when Chikezie can get some energy into an arrangement he is at his best. Ramiele tried to liven it up for a change from last week. She was cute and hit some good strong notes, but I have to agree with Simon that her song choice was not good and it was a bit high school musical theater. I kept expecting her to have a cane in hand and bounce her little hat off of it.

And finally, will Kristy Lee Cook just hide her voice away? She kept her eye popping and nose scrunching to a minimum tonight, but once again that heavy, off key, twangy arrangement coupled with her rocking on one foot was just too painful to watch. Paula summed it up perfectly when she said, “You look gorgeous tonight”.

So I can only hope that Kristy will be sent home this week and that my favorites, David Cook, Brooke White and Jason Castro come back strong next week.

Denise, I hope you are having a great vacation, and thank you for letting me be your understudy this week.

Now I must get to my not pink cell phone and start voting!

So many Idol Thoughts are running through my mind, I really don’t know where to begin.

I still can’t stop thinking about that hot new stage and wondering if Ricky and the band are ticked that they’ve been elevated to a perch so high above the action that no one should notice the background singers outdoing the contestants 49.9 percent of the time.

A slight confession before we begin. I’m not a Beatles fan. I know I’m supposed to be. I know it’s un-American not to be. But they just don’t excite me, and I know I was hearing some of these songs from the all-holy “Lennon/McCartney Songbook” for the first time ever tonight. SAW-EEE!

As for the performances, let’s divide tonight’s into four categories, and we’ll start with:

SO SURPRISING!
1. Chikezie: OMG that was awesome! You know an “Idol” performance is good when you find yourself involuntarily grinning from ear-to-ear before it’s even half over. Not sure where that energetic, crazy original version of “She’s A Woman” came from. Also not sure why Chikezie didn’t do that sorta thing sooner. Maybe it takes a moment of truth like waiting for your death sentence hand-in-hand with Danny Noriega to make a man wake up and smell the Argyle. Whatever happened there, I liked it, and I hope we see more.

2. Amanda Overmyer: Despite the many, many, many criticisms of Amanda I have made this season, I do not go into her performances expecting to hate her. She and I and that crazy dye job start fresh every week. And I actually thought this week’s was decent. I might even have heard a bit of a singing voice hiding one layer beneath all that garbling in her “You Can’t Do That.” I still don’t think she can compare, talent-wise, to most of the rest, but I won’t be so angry this week when she doesn’t leave. And we all know she won’t.

NOT REMOTELY SURPRISING
1. The judges continued to heap praise on Carly “What’s the Name of That Irish Girl?” Smithson, who I can admit is a vocal talent but who just isn’t all that exciting to me. She did look the best she’s ever looked tonight, but I have to wonder why the judges are so dead-set on keeping her.

2. Syesha Mercado continued her streak of performances that can best be described as… reliable. She’s safe this week, but YAWN, I do not enjoy watching her.

3. Jason Castro continued to exude charm and charisma, even though his performance of “If I Fell” was a tad lackluster. His interview skills, however, have improved ten-fold. Go Aggies.

4. Michael Johns continued to look 20,000 times better than he sounds. And I’m not complaining. At all.

5. Brooke White continued to cement her spot as my absolute favorite contestant. Although I sure hope we can dig up SOME sort of scandal in her snow white past (cutting a tag off a mattress, perhaps??) she sings with conviction and passion and maturity and sounds pretty fabulous doing so. Loved her take on “Let It Be,” and take it from someone who flubbed up many a grade school piano recital, hitting every key correctly is no small feat.

6. David Hernandez continued to ooog me out. Sorry man. We’re done. (He sang “I Saw Her Standing There,” in case you weren’t wondering.)

KINDA SURPRISING, IN A NOT-SO-SURPRISING KIND OF WAY
1. David Cook is starting to look like the David to beat. Last week’s rocking “Hello” could have been just a fluke. But apparently not, considering he rocked “Eleanor Rigby” just as hard. And it CAN’T be easy to rock a song called “Eleanor Rigby.” Can it??

2. Poor David Archuleta. His lyric-forgetting, cringeworthy performance of “We Can Work it Out” was just bad, bad, bad. But it was bound to happen. How much pressure can a kid that young really endure? I’m sure he’ll bounce back. At least I hope so. Not sure I could stand listening to mean old Simon rip into that innocent young boy. Child abuse!

BUH-BYE
1. It’s got to be Kristy Lee Cook going home on Wednesday. Her countrified “Eight Days A Week” was as bold as it was bad.

2. But if it isn’t, I’ve got to think Ramiele Malubay will get the boot. Everyone of her performances has been soulless and robotic, and even though her voice is good, she’s squandering her opportunity. I’m not sure she has any true star potential. (And JUST when I’d learned to spell her name.)

Decisions! Decisions! Can’t we still lose two???

So what do you think? Do you , like me, wish Simon and Ryan would just GET A ROOM already? Would Dolly Parton on helium even be audible to the human ear? And will Kristy Lee or Ramiele go home on Wednesday?