You don’t say

“Hey, this isn’t Gridiron.”

– Sedgwick County Commissioner Tim Norton’s retort after others at the county joked about him getting caught in a traffic jam in Haysville by asking if everyone was driving backward

Haysville leaders and residents are weary of being ‘portrayed as illiterate bumpkins’

The Gridiron cast usually makes Haysville jokes as an aside, not a full skit. Still, the city is not amused by them.

The Gridiron cast usually makes Haysville jokes as an aside, not a full skit. Still, the city is not amused by them.

UPDATED — The joke’s on them, and Haysville leaders and residents are not amused.

“We request that you remove all jokes about Haysville and other area communities from Gridiron,” said Haysville Mayor Bruce Armstrong in a Thursday e-mail to several people involved with the show.

Gridiron is an annual satirical production put on by the local chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists to spoof the news and raise scholarship money for journalism students.

Armstrong said “compromising the well being of the citizens and businesses of Haysville with snide, hurtful and untrue remarks is not an acceptable means to securing the funds for those scholarships.”

Armstrong’s wife, Susan Armstrong of Armstrong Chamberlin Strategic Marketing, also wrote to “respectfully request that you reconsider any skits that portray an entire city–any city–as ignorant or toothless, or cheap. It’s the equivalent of bullying, and it shouldn’t be done.”

She said that “Haysville is growing weary of having our whole community portrayed as illiterate bumpkins. We are working hard to improve the awareness of all the wonderful qualities our city has to offer. Every time you mention Haysville at Gridiron, you hurt our efforts.”

John Burke, superintendent of schools for Haysville USD 261, wrote, “I find this counterproductive to our image campaign and am respectively requesting that you stop making fun of Haysville as part of your production.”

One resident wrote to invite those involved with Gridiron to visit Haysville for a tour – along with coming up with new material and giving Haysville a break.

Sedgwick County Commissioner Tim Norton, who regularly attends Gridiron and spars with the cast, says enough probably is enough.

“Well, I’ve always been a very, very good sport with the sarcasm, the innuendo, the poking and everything,” he says. Norton says, though, the joke is wearing thin.

Read More »

You don’t say

“I’m not good at sharing cookies.”

Sedgwick County Commission Chairman Dave Unruh’s confession, which was the first of a couple during Wednesday’s proclamation of Girl Scout Cookie Month 


“As a Calvinist, it’s important for me to confess my transgressions. Commissioner Norton, I took your Lemonades. As a good Methodist, I know that you’ll forgive me and let me keep them.”

– County Manager Bill Buchanan’s cookie confession to Commissioner Tim Norton

You don’t say

“Try going bald at 20.”

– Sedgwick County Commissioner Richard Ranzau reacting to colleague Tim Norton Tuesday when he complained about his hair turning white at age 31

You don’t say

“Today was one of those kind of, really, watershed days.”

– County Commissioner Tim Norton on NetApp’s announcement of 400 new jobs, which he says meets the area’s need to diversify and move into more high-tech fields

You don’t say

“Most people don’t care, unless you’re just looking for someone’s name to go ‘nanna-nanna boo-boo’ to.”

— Sedgwick County commissioner Tim Norton talking about publication (which is required by law) in The Eagle of the names of people and businesses behind on their property taxes

You don’t say

“I’m in the middle of a lot of intellectual capital, so I hope I don’t drag the IQ down.”

— County Commissioner Tim Norton’s comment today at the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the second Airbus facility in Old Town, where a lot of aerospace engineers were in attendance

You don’t say

“I guess they brought me up here because they thought I was a dinosaur.”

— Sedgwick County Commissioner Tim Norton at Monday’s press conference to announce “Walking with Dinosaurs — The Arena Spectacular” coming to Intrust Bank Arena in April