You don’t say

“I’m on a strict diet of red bull and Hershey miniatures until today is done.”

— An e-mail from Hartman Arena’s Jared Estes, who is dealing with the cancellation of  Nickelodeon star Miranda Cosgrove’s show tonight due to a bus accident and is fielding calls from people who “don’t want a refund, they want us to uncrash Miranda’s bus so they don’t have to tell their 6 year old she’s not coming this weekend”